Are We Victims, or Willing Participants?

I just read Mega's latest submission, It's All Up to You. Wow! Great writing. Should get a green star in my opinion.

It sure got me thinking. I've read many submissions on this site, many complaining about problems with bargirls. I guess bargirls is a nice word for prostitutes. Anyway, come on guys, let's be honest here. We know what we may be
getting into when we first board the plane to Thailand. We've heard about the nightlife, the available sex for western guys. Are we really being honest here? Would we let all our friends and family back home know what we're up to over
there? Here we are on a website where you need to use a false name to submit a letter. Why is that? Cause basically we know that we are doing something that we're truly not proud of, and that's flying over to a third world poor country
to bang young women after paying them money. We have to assume some sort of responsibility for our actions, don't we?

To go on a site here and complain about our bad experiences with prostitutes, aren't we part of the problem? Come on. Illegal drugs, prostitutes. They both have consequences. I'm not saying I'm not a willing participant. On
the contrary. I'm the poster boy example of a middle aged sex tourist. I've been into the Thai sex scene for 6 years now. I probably need a 12 step program of some sort at this point. You guys out there know what I'm talking about.
Thailand, for all its great nightlife and fun, can really mess a person up. Just like drugs, it can destroy lives. In Thailand, sex can be like doing heroin (high grade by the way!). Like drugs or drinking, we find it easy to lie to ourselves.
We don't have a problem. We can keep things in control.

I've told Stick that visiting this website and reading the submissions is much cheaper than talking with a therapist. He's heard that same thing from many guys. This site gives us an outlet to talk about our problems and read about
other people's experiences. I pull up the site daily and read the two or three newly posted submissions. It's also a way to maintain a connection to what's happening over there while we are gone. I've heard that about 5,000
other people out there do the same thing everyday. Thailand still has a "grip" on me even when I'm back home. I think that's because when we are over there our senses are stimulated beyond belief. The smells, the sounds, all
the available Thai women. It's like your brain is in "overdrive". No wonder we feel empty after arriving back to our reality back home.

I don't know. It's like that movie "Avatar". That guy gets in a capsule and he's transported to a wonderful, colorful exciting world where everything appears new and different. I swear. Whoever did that movie had
been to Thailand. All the women were pencil thin and sexy Asian looking. I remember I came out of that movie with a girl here and she said, "That was so make believe. How could you have a place where all the women looked thin like that?"
I just just chuckled to myself and thought… THAILAND! That's not a fantasy world on the big screen. It really exists, and I have been there!! Even the sexy Asian looking female main character tells the guy…. You've got a big heart!
Once again, I almost cracked up watching this. I've had so many bargirls tell me the same thing. I guess in bargirl school, that phrase really means. I tell you this…. and you are more likely to give me money. You Farang fool!!! In bargirl
school, the first thing taught, is always remember… The guy is always thinking with his penis! When this takes place, the Farang can be milked for more money by uttering phrases like, I need money, my mother sick. Or "You are so kind"
and "You have a big heart" This actually means, you are so flipping stupid! I'm going to squeeze every last Baht out of you that I can!! In bargirl school, the girls are also taught "juggling" Yes, juggling. They learn
how to juggle two, three, or multiple farang customers at a time while, continuing to see their Thai boyfriend. These girls should really be in Circe de Solei. Ha! Ahh…true Thai muti-tasking! Ha!

Well, back to my main point. How do we ever get weaned off of our Thailand addiction? I'm guessing the only way may be just like Heroin, we need to go "Cold Turkey" Am I at that point yet? Hell no. I'm still in the "denial
stage". I don't have a problem. I can control things. I can go over once a year and bang a bunch of chicks and not let it affect my life the rest of the year. Yeah sure. I almost have myself convinced. Just like a crack-head. Gee…I
don't have a problem.

I remember my first experience in Thailand. I checked into the Novotel Hotel at 11 PM after the long grueling flight. I go downstairs to the CM2 disco. The place is just jam packed with great looking babes. Maybe 5 women to every guy in there
and they all seemed so friendly giving me the eye and a smile. The band was a 10 piece show band that was rocking out and the dance floor was packed. This was great. I thought I had landed in paradise!!!

It wasn't till about my 3rd trip that I realized that what I saw down there was all just an illusion. Sure, the place was packed with women. They were all prostitutes. And I mean all of them! They were just there working, and the bar
was their workplace. Some of the guys probably knew what was going on, and other newbies were probably thinking they were just these great looking desirable studs and of course these girls truly wanted to be with them. Everyone in that bar was
presenting a false image as to what was really happening and why they were really there. Even the band that seemed to be going over so well. I thought, wow, these guys sound great, and that's why so many people are in here. Just to see and
listen to this band. That was till I came in on the band's day off and a DJ was just playing songs. Once again. The place was packed. People were dancing. They really didn't need the band there at all. It was just part of the illusion.
These girls just needed a place to hook up with customers. It had nothing to do with which band was playing up there on stage. Then it dawned on me. Thailand is a place where no one is honest. The girls don't really like you because they
think you are a great guy etc. You're just a customer with money. Not only was it this bar, but every bar I set foot in. I thought "Thailand" should be called "Lieland". I guess it was just a blow to my ego to realize
I wasn't attracting women for any reason other than I was the next potential customer. Since that time, I've always had an empty feeling about the bars. You can see the look in the girls' eyes as you walk through any of the Pattaya
or Bangkok bars. They just have this empty, blank, cold stare. It's pretty sad. The bar life takes its toll on everyone involved in it. I've just decided that I still enjoy the sex part of things and it's great to get off, but it's
not like a true relationship back home. I almost think it's like "masturbating with a person". You pick someone out, do your thing, and head back to the hotel. Not that I don't enjoy the warm weather etc. compared to being
back home freezing. I've probably been with about 300 or so women over there. There are only two or three that I really even remember. I have a few girls that I'm just friends with over there. They're working girls, but I've
just become friends with them. I look forward to seeing them, maybe because it's not about the sex. Just friendship.

I liked a quote someone on this site wrote. "A man is never more of a fool than to himself". That says it all. We men are so guilty of not being honest with ourselves. I guess that goes for a lot of people, men and women. Ya know,
we men do have a handicap, being born with two brains and all…. It's like that story that starts off with….It was the Best of Times, It was the Worst of Times…. Guess that sums up my feeling about my Thai experiences thus far.

Honesty? Problem? I don't have a problem. I'm a willing participant!