Stickman Readers' Submissions December 21st, 2010

Warped View?

I never thought I would write to this site. For many years I have been an avid reader. I too have experienced the lies, the cheating, the love, the hate and have had many a laugh. I am absolutely convinced that all my mongering in the past in Thailand,
all the heart ache, the misunderstandings, the rows, the mistakes, the travelling eleven hours without a smoke. The phone calls, the is she true, the worry etc, all that has been worth it! All that I have learned mostly the hard way has now come
to fruition. No more visa problems. Life has returned to simplicity again. I know the rules – play away and she will cut it off. But have I been or am I still blind as to what has been happening in the shadows?

I am married to a Thai woman. We have a beautiful daughter and I have adopted her two kids from her previous marriage. We all live in England along with my three boys, from my previous marriage. So we are a mixed race family.

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Nothing really bothers me, I live and let live.

However something happened to me the other day, only words, stupid words, where as I don't really care, this time it played on my mind.

I visited my local garage and filling my tank with the usual tenners worth, [I like to think it's full], I proceeded to the till where I began to pay for my liquid gold. I was served by a some what overweight attendant who seemed a bit
jaded and having a bit of a moan about life in general. For some reason she directed her attack on the government's failure to give her a meaningful life which had now left her as a cashier in a forecourt, on me.

The conversation went something like this:

English woman about 45 years old. "Too many foreigners in this country, that's why we are in the mess we are in."

My retort, "England has always encouraged immigration one way or another, you cannot start to blame people who want to better their lives, besides my wife is foreign so I'm hardly going to agree with you."

To which she replied "Where is she from?"

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"Thailand" I answered quite proudly.

Now get this, she looked me right in the eye and snarled "PERVERT".

I was a little taken aback by this presumption and put it straight down to her ignorance.

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"All men who go to Thailand are perverts" she pronounced. [Wait, there's more.]

"Well, you are a minefield of information, where did you learn that from?" I grinned.

"My friend, he went to Thailand with some mates for a seven day holiday in Phuket. He was so disgusted With what he saw he came back home after five days, so disgusted he paid extra to come home!" She nodded as if it was conclusive.

"Oh! So every man that travels to Thailand is a pervert because a man you hardly know told you so!" I mocked her.

She then said "I know him very well, in fact he's my husband, and he doesn't lie to me" {Oh don't he I thought}

"Well ask yourself this, what experience did your husband have in Thailand that disgusted him so? Was it the food, was it the people, or was it a smell? Or did he cheat on you perhaps and was riddled with guilt, or maybe he got a handful
of meat and two veg he wasn't expecting, or perhaps as you put it, some other perversion befell him, because what ever it was he left Thailand in a hurry."

With that I turned and walked away. As I left in my car I could see the anger welling up in her face as she stared at me from the window.

Now this is what is playing on my mind, I don't know her very well and don't really care about her. I think I hit the nail on the head as far as the husband is concerned. He wanted to distance himself from whatever happened in Thailand,
maybe he was just plain scared out of his wits about being there full stop. One thing about the husband is the pathetic excuse he gave for leaving Thailand. I intend to carry on using this same garage, most likely the woman will not mention any
of this again.

The only ever other quip I have been asked by a man in a pub was "Did you buy your wife on the internet?"

Now I wish I hadn't said "No on eBay"! I genuinely think he went and looked. He always avoids me now!

But it's starting to make me think of what other people think about me and my wife. I am more intrigued than bothered. Perhaps my first taste of verbal prejudice?


Western men living in Farangland with Thai women have these sorts of things said behind their backs all the time. At least this woman had the gumption to say it to your face, irrespective of her ignorance!

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