So What Do I Think The Secret Is?
On Christmas Day 2010 it will be exactly 2 years to the day since I travelled up to Thailand, and was met for the first time by (who is now) Mia Thai in person at Suvarnabhumi Airport.
After that initial meeting on that day, 25th December 2008 and the next 5 days lazily spent wallowing together in each other’s flesh, I would later ask this girl to marry me… just 14 days later.
Well, now 2 years have passed, and life simply seems all too easy, I mean way too easy.
We met, we liked each other, we communicated well, we joked, we played around… And so we got married, just 2 months and 1 week after our first face-to-face meeting.
You can read more in depth from a 5 part series written in and posted in Stick's February 2010 submission pages:
Mia Thai easily got a visitor visa to accompany me back to New Zealand as my wife. 6 months later this was upgraded to a Work Visa, enabling Mia Thai to extend for years her stay down under.
In March 2010, after we had been together permanently for 12 months (and collected as much as was possible relationship proof along the way), we applied for NZ Residence.
And just 6 months later in October 2010 this was approved!
So what do I think the secret is of our success…? As an interracial couple – Farang husband (now 50) married to a Thai wife (now 35)?
Well it’s my belief that the answer is deep and lays at multiple levels.
Level 1: Us as a couple and as individuals.
Level 2: Our personal expectations for our life and togetherness.
Level 3: Ability to converse in each other’s native language.
Level 4: The Thai In-Law family ties.
Us as a couple and as individuals
I’m 100% convinced that maturity plays an essential part in our success as a couple.
We are both very comfortable and accepting of who we are as individual people.
Mia Thai's own self esteem has always amazed me.
Mia Thai has no background in the sex industry or bars – another key component.
It was always my intention for my chosen Mia Thai to live with me in Farangland. This was understood and accepted ‘up front’. So I had to ensure that I chose a potential wife that herself, desired to live overseas.
Prior to marriage, Westernisation of the Thai girl. Mia had taught herself English by watching western videos with Thai subtitles. She had formed a fair expectation from viewing videos and TV programs, what life in the West was like.
Our personal expectations for our life and togetherness
Mia Thai let me know, during our first stay together, that she was looking for a ‘good life’, an easy life and a quiet life. Who would not desire that? That was exactly what I had been searching for my whole life and never attained with a Western woman!
Mia Thai is the 1st woman in my life that has never tried to change the core of ME.
It is my experience Western women are never accepting of Western men ‘as they are’ and continually try to change the Western men to their own ideals.
Change to what the Western woman thinks she deserves in a man. This is usually through manipulation, bribery (sexual reward) or just plain conniving and stubbornness.
I had never accepted the ‘It’s my way or the highway’ attitudes or the I’m always right – even if I am wrong!!, way of thinking.
I can say that I personally have never responded well to any of those Western feminine traits!
Mia Thai has always accepted Me as ME and this allows me to be just who I am.
Naturally this is reciprocated by me and that I accept Mia for just what and who she is.
This total acceptance (of the other person as they are) I believe is the core crucial reason for our success as a couple.
Mia Thai actually made an effort to try and understand me (and succeeded in this) and how I tick. This mentality is so different from any other Western female partner I had previously experienced.
We shared, from many discussions, a deep understanding of how our life would be, day by day and year by year.
We have a plan for our life in action:
For next 5 Years: Live in NZ day to day with a couple of months holiday in Thailand each year.
In 5 Years: Obtain NZ passport for Mia Thai, then live 4 or 5 months of the year in Thailand.
Long Term: Live permanently in Thailand.
Got to say a big thanks to Stick’s site right here for the great info on the APEC card. Having successfully applied I can now enter Thailand and get entry for 3 months every time.
Ability to converse in each other’s native Language
Mia Thai could already read, write and talk English to an acceptable level, having self-taught herself.
Right from our very 1st meeting she spoke away to me in Thai, and happily translated her words into English for me. From there on I have tried to learn 2 or 3 new words in Thai every day (not easy at my age to remember!!)
Mia Thai was always eager to improve her English, learning from me. (Have you ever heard a Thai girl trying to say ‘Cute’ – funny… she has nailed that one now!)
We are now at the point where we speak Thai and English 50 / 50 of the time at home in NZ.
During our most recent trip to Thailand over October 2010 I tried only to speak Thai all the time everywhere we went. This was widely appreciated by the Thais and reciprocated by them also happily teaching me new words on a daily basis!
The Thai In-Law family ties
I have always made a practise of following strictly the ‘Thai manners and protocols’ conducted by Mum and Dad, whilst at Mia’s family home.
I have always found every member of her family accepting, open and friendly towards me.
Whilst in Issen I do try to eat the majority of their home cooked Issen food.
On our last visit, Mum made the effort to add coconut cream to Nam Pik Mu, knowing that Farang like creamy much… Funny though I preferred her normal Issen style recipe!!
Mia Thai keeps in regular bi-weekly contact with her Thai family, from NZ. Every time I always Sawadee Mum and ask how things are, speaking in Thai of course.
Above all else, yes, I support the parents on a monthly basis – just 3,000 baht.
This action I am sure, above all else, really clinches the deal!!!!
It is only with our eyes open, mind open and heart open that I believe that we can find happiness with another person, in life.
Do I believe I am currently happy in my life with Mia Thai? YES – stupidly happy!
I am aware that Mia Thai has achieved for herself what she set out to gain, a better life for herself overseas. Also as part of that, a security for her parents from a monthly income (which is almost guaranteed for the parents, as opposed from Mia Thai’s siblings)
We have both gained a mate for life, someone to relax with, a mate to play with, to be understood by and of course to love!!
I sincerely hope I am able to continue to write on Stick's site, after 5 years, 10 years and even longer about my positive experiences with my Thai Mia…..
It's great to hear a success story – and it was great to meet the two of you yesterday. Long may your happiness continue!