Readers' Submissions

Characters I Have Met, Just A Few

  • Written by Curbie
  • November 22nd, 2010
  • 6 min read


Jim, American, chatted up a bit. Jim was in Bangkok awaiting a friend to arrive to the head into Cambodia. Just in visiting he mentions he was staying at XXXX hotel “I stay there because I like to smoke pot and you can get it there” …. okay…. “(me) I don't do drugs, especially in Thailand”.

Will, American, this one is a bit lengthy if told totally, a good friend of Will's had been trying to get him over to Thailand for years. Finally made the trip. Total Jasmine fever, stayed at a Sukhumvit hotel for two years pulling 3 short times (maybe one long-time) every day. Blows his life savings. Moves to Pattaya in an effort to survive on his pension (Social Security). Exchange rate slowly cramping his style so he goes back to the States for a season in his old field of employment. Saves a little nest egg, says his final goodbyes to Stateside family and friends and heads back to Pattaya to stay until God calls… Lasted 2 months before heading back to the States. Pattaya was just was not the same on his return, too bad he did not get off the Thai treadmill sooner to clear his head.

Mott, English, 80 years old. Wife died a slow death of cancer and he was her final caregiver. After her death his son brings him over to Thailand – Pattaya. We met a number of times at the pool where his story was told. He really likes the place, and comes back to marry a Isaan gal. Told me “really nice girl but she's sick now.” “We are trying to get a marriage visa, I've spent 2,000 pounds so far…” (Me: “what?”). Goes on to say he has been at this hotel with her for 3 weeks, never had sex… (Me “what”). Well me and another guy (more him as I tend to let people do their thing) kind of straighten him up. Well, next discussion at the pool was that he had told her he was out of money, she could not leave quick enough. Tom was felling lonely and it was late after she left so he heads out for a drink. Meets a cute little gal who pleads poverty and hunger, nice guy he gives her a thousand baht to eat. Well she saw her man, says take the thousand Baht and give the bar 300 so I can leave with you. Proceeds to take him back to her cube (apartment) and shag him. He was blown away, thankfully he did not fall in love (her likely plan) but instead he proceeds to have about a dozen different quickies in his last week. He was heading into massage parlors and pulling down the girls “knickers”. My friend and I loved it. He is coming back in one month… I guess it is never too later to become a monger.

Mike, 32 Aussie, good-looking guy. Has taken a gal out of a bar 3-4 times over two trips and for him it's just a good shag, attractive and predictable. Goes in and she is not there so he sees another gal and takes her out. Chatting the gal up outside of the bar she realizes “You Nok's Australian boyfriend”. Hmm he thinks, but she goes on and says “She say you send here money when away, pick her up on motorcycle when she maw (drunk), say you love her…” He is thinking, none of this is true… Clearly she was building face for herself.

Vince, Welsh, met him for a total of maybe 5 minutes, riding a baht bus and asked him if he knew how to get somewhere. He was very nice and said he was heading that way and would show me. Chatting a bit and he mentioned he comes 2 times a year for a month each time. Asked him why he does not move to Thailand “I am too old, I am 80… if I was 65 yes I would move here” this gentlemen could have told me he was 60 and I would have believed him, Thailand can be a fountain of youth for guys over 60 (or 50?).

Connect four dude, Never got his name imagine I am walking down second road in Pattaya slightly hung over after break fast. See a connect 4 game you play at the bars, had priced them before but the first price was too high to begin negotiating. Imagine this Connect 4 dude talking (C4D) and me thinking (…) or talking “”. Prices mentioned are maybe not accurate but US$ was at 44B

Me: How much?

C4D: 220 baht

Me: (good starting price, do I want to start negotiating? )

C4D: (getting nervous at my pause) “okay 200B”

Me: (that a good start.. do I want to carry it around?)

C4D: (really getting nervous at my silence) “Okay 160B”

Me: Okay

Bill has been in Thailand for a number of years, long-time player who fell for a massage parlor gal, one of the hotel version massage places where stuff typically does not happen on site but anything is possible. Now a married couple Bill decides to head home for the holidays and starts to think about presents. Decides to get everyone a fake Rolex. Heads through customs with about a dozen and gets stopped…

Customs officer: We need to get our Rolex expert down to see if they are real

Bill: Don't bother, if they are real I can't afford the duty

Funny guy Bill

Russian in bar, gal I am talking to takes off to dance, he decides now is the time to talk to me at a distance of one inch and blow spit while speaking in English so accented I would have had trouble understanding in a quiet place. Once he finds out I am from American proceeds to show me his clothing in detail and tells me they are real American “not fake”. Boy was I not impressed, finally got him to move off and another gal came over “what him talk about” (me) “nothing” getting my drift she said “him stupid”, I about fell over laughing.

Just a few of many.


Stickman's thoughts:

You forgot the last one:

Young Kiwi who spends much time in the bars but never pays bar and never seems that interested in the girls despite spending so much time in the environment. Known to make notes from time to time right there in the bars and ask pointed questions. Occasionally looking over his shoulder as if someone could be after / watching him. Often seen in the company of a huge fat man, or one of a couple of local authors or a stockbroker with shocking blonde hair or an American muttering about f'ing liberals!