Readers' Submissions

Tracy




After a leisurely breakfast at Margarita Station, I returned to my room at ABC to freshen up, and begin a new day's adventure. I wanted to see Perimeter Avenue, the older, dirtier end of the area, whose decline so many veteran men (both military and monger) decry. The day was bright, sunny, and hot. I wanted to feel the Philippine climate, and to see and hear and smell more of this exotic paradise, up close. While planning for this trip, I'd seen the website for the "ago-go" Lost In Asia, and I'd seen reference to it on a couple of discussion boards. Looking at an area map, it seemed to demark a natural far end-point of Perimeter Avenue, so I formulated a complex plan: meander down to Lost In Asia, and take life as it comes.

I stopped at a bar called Cherry's, another bar I'd read about. I sipped an SMB, watched the girls, bought a girl a lady drink. No magic, no excitement, low-energy feeling, so I strolled out and moved along, resuming my path westward along Perimeter Avenue. Most of the bars were not open yet, which was fine with me. I absorbed the Philippine sunshine as I observed chickens, cats, dirt, tricycles, Filipinos, foreigners, and on the opposite side of the street, the vast expanse that was once Clark Air Force Base. Nothing remarkable, yet engrossing.

At my slow pace it took a while, but finally I arrived at Lost In Asia. It was very dark inside, and it was some time before my eyes adjusted to the unusually dim lighting. There were a few customers, maybe six or eight, and about ten or so girls on stage, with another ten or so milling about, waiting for their turn on stage. I was shown to a seat, where I ordered and sipped an SMB as I gazed upon the cute little Filipinas. There were no standouts, no stunners, just a bevy of scantily-clad young girls. No one was aggressive about getting my attention, which I was happy about.

Of the girls waiting for their turn on stage, I saw the face of one, a girl sitting on a bench along the far back wall, whom I found particularly cute. Compared to other Filipinas she had a little lighter complexion and rounder eyes. Her hair was cut in bangs, as she sported a very cute, almost Japanese-like look. I could not see her height, or her body, but I took note, wanting to see more of her, and looked forward to watching her on stage.

After about half an SMB, the stage turned over – the other girls began taking their places while the first ones came off and milled about. The girl I'd spied was now on stage, but I was a little disappointed. She was very petite, standing maybe five feet even, and looked far younger than when I'd seen her from a distance. But I was still compelled by that cute look. Mamasan, the ubiquitous mamasan, saw me sitting without a girl, and wanted to change that. She came over to talk to me, to measure me up, to drum up business. I told her I was looking (even though I hadn't come to Lost In Asia specifically to find a girl). She was very upbeat and friendly, happy to carry on a light, flirtatious conversation. I didn't mind, rather I kind of enjoyed the company, as she was very kind-hearted and warm. But, of course, she had business on the mind. As additional girls continued taking the stage, mamasan got on stage with them, livening them up, and making a fun time of it, remotely exerting sales pressure, albeit with a very soft touch. She motioned to me, asking if I was interested in either of two of the taller, prettier girls. I motioned back, smiling, pointing at her, joking that she was my choice. She was amused, and all the girls seemed to be having fun. Undaunted, mamasan soon moved over to couple of other girls, near the one I had spotted. She motioned toward one, I said no, and pointed to the girl I was interested in. She thought I meant the one next to my choice, and asked, "her?" I motioned no, and looked again at my choice. A flash of surprise was evident on mamasan's face, but that did not impede her swiftness in bringing the girl down to me. Before she could take a seat, mamasan deftly moved the girl's barstool directly adjacent to mine. Mamasan stayed nearby, distinctly staying out of my sphere of attention, but within arm's length of the girl. As the girl took a seat, she was not assuming that I'd buy her a lady drink. Of course I did, as I always did when joined by a lady of my choosing; the three or so dollars means little to me, and I'm well aware that cute, young girls do not partake in my company because of my charm and good looks. The waitress came and took her order, I think maybe it was less than P100.

When the girl sat down, she was sitting very close, just an inch or two away, thanks to mamasan's foresight. Occupying one another's "personal space", the natural result is a mix of feelings, an invisible connection wherein one begins to feel a part of the other person. It's something I love, the unspoken interpersonal communication that begins after I've chosen a lady to "get to know". But, this time, with this girl, I felt a little awkward. She was very young, notably less than half my age. But, she was there, she was cute, and even though I felt a sense of shyness coming from her, I also felt confidence coming from her. If her youth turns out to be too big of a factor for me, no problem, someone else gets the next lady drink. But for now, I'll just talk with her, and get to know her a little. Her nickname is Tracy.

Very shortly after taking her seat, Tracy turned away from me to ask mamasan something. Mamasan was very wise. She did not wait for Tracy's question, but reached out and gently turned Tracy's face back toward mine. We talked a little, beginning the usual small talk, the questions that are asked and answered countless times. A second time, Tracy turned away to ask mamasan something, and a second time, mamasan immediately turned Tracy's face back directly toward mine. Tracy understood the subtle message, "give the foreigner your attention", and didn't turn away again.

A typical part of the experience, I began gently and discreetly touching Tracy, remaining a gentleman, touching just her arms, shoulders, and back. This, for me, is the best way to feel the potential chemistry between me and the girl. How does she react? What is the feeling? Does the girl shrink away a little, tense up a little, or does she warm up, and open up? Does she respond in kind, and reach out to you? If so, is her touch mechanical and perfunctory, or is it warm? Look into her eyes to gauge her response. Tracy's skin was very soft and smooth, a delight to touch, so this was pleasing to me regardless of anything else. Although she seemed a little shy at first, she responded well to touch. She had enough confidence to not shrink away, and very soon began warming. Even though I could feel her youth and inexperience, the contact felt good, it was distinctly positive.

Tracy's English was excellent, which is a big help, especially for someone like me, alone in a foreign land. She tells me she's nineteen, only not yet nineteen, because her birthday is coming up soon, next month. She said her sister also works in the bar, and was there now, and she pointed her out. Tracy's sister also looked very young.


I asked, "Older sister?"

"No, she's younger – she's not yet eighteen."


Now, looking back, and putting the pieces together, I think Tracy may have been the younger one. I hope not.

I was enjoying Tracy's company, so after a while, I bought her a second lady drink. The touching is becoming a little more personal. The physical closeness, the warmth of the feeling, and the openness in her eyes make clear that this girl is prepared to be a pleasing companion, despite her youth and apparent inexperience. It dawns on me that I should make some kind of decision about this delightful young girl sitting next to me. I knew I didn't want to take this little cutie overnight, so about that time I consider the possibility of barfining her for short-time. I check my watch; it was still early, about 4:30 PM, so there was plenty of time for short-time with her, and a fun night out. In all of my planning, and thinking about this, my first trip to paradise, I'd only envisioned long-time engagements. I was sure I wanted a nightly overnight companion, and frankly, I had been thinking that would be about all I could handle.

Tracy's hair was up in a pony tail in back, and I had her let it down. She has that beautiful, thick, coarse, black hair, down well below her shoulders, longer than it looked when it was up. I began to feel conflict in my soul, because this girl is so young and seemingly so innocent. But I felt very comfortable with her, and she seemed to feel very comfortable with me. She's nice, cute, receptive, and she's getting my motor turning. I asked the questions, and she gave the right answers. (I'm trusting that the reader is astute enough to understand the basics that need to be clear prior to selecting a companion.) The "AC-style" all-inclusive barfine is P1,300. I hadn't come to paradise just to look. Tracy was soon to be my fourth barfine.

We stepped outside into the blinding sunlight – I'd forgotten how very dark it was inside Lost In Asia. I gave her the number for my hotel, and she called for a car (I never did bother to get a local SIM card). It was going to be a few minutes, so we stepped back inside the air-conditioned club. My confidence in Tracy grew. After we'd "sealed the deal", her temperament did not change. The reader may know what I mean: if one chooses a companion hastily, they may find that the girl's temperament hardens a little, to something like, "okay, the charade is over, let's go fuck and get it over with" (an attitude I found more common during a subsequent visit to Pattaya than in AC, by the way). Tracy remained the warm, receptive, shy girl I'd been talking with.

As we were inside, waiting for the car, another girl at the club double-checked with me, that I wanted short-time. I don't know why, because the barfine was the same for either short-time or long-time. This, for me, was awkward. This put into sharp focus that Tracy was an object, a plaything at my disposal, and this was one time I felt very bad about objectifying the girl. The other girl might just as well have asked "Is she pretty and nice enough that you will need to keep her overnight to have your fill of her, or do you rate her low enough that you will have your fill of her after just one fuck?" I know it's business, but I felt really, really bad about taking her for short-time.

Soon, the car arrived. Both while in the car with the driver, and walking the "walk of shame" into the hotel, I felt very awkward and embarrassed about having such a young girl. We went up to my room, and it was so clear that Tracy was not very experienced. I wanted her to feel comfortable, I wanted her to feel happy. To the extent possible, I wanted this to be a good experience for her, or at least as little of a negative experience as possible. So I took a seat on the loveseat, and had her sit next to me, and we talked a little. I found out that I am her second barfine. Her first barfine was also a foreigner. But, I would be her third, ever. She spilled her cherry with a Filipino while drunk (they say "spill", not "break"). She told me she cried after her first barfine. I could see that her heart hurts. This means so much to me, it is a part of the essence of the GFE. Tracy was showing me and telling me her true feelings. I was feeling much happier about my choice to barfine this particular young lady. I could feel that she was utterly sincere, I could feel her feelings. This is the depth of beauty – I was on the opposite side of the Earth, in a foreign land, surrounded by things, and customs, and language, that are very strange to me, but the human experience is common. I was sharing in the heart of a pretty, young girl.

Tracy remained emotionally strong as we talked, and the level of warmth never faded. Even though she was sharing things painful to her, she remained with me, in the moment, as my "girlfriend". As she talked, I looked at her, and stroked her skin, letting my mind wander. The atmosphere was getting warmer.

I looked her directly in the eyes and gently asked her, "Are you okay?"

With confidence, and openness, she replied "Yes, I'm okay."

I had Tracy stand in front of me, as I began slowly undressing her, and kissing her. She is very petite, weighing maybe 90 lbs, and I would guess her figure to be about 30A-22-30, with a nice, small, rounded derriere. The streak of Spanish blood gives the Filipina the advantage of a more rounded derriere over the Thai. She complained about having small breasts, wondering aloud why "God gave" her such small breasts. Even though they were small, they had a wonderful natural shape, and very nice nipples. I reassured her that for some men (like me), large breasts aren't important. I undressed.

I gently kissed and caressed Tracy's young body, and her wonderful, light, smooth skin. I looked her directly in the eyes, and again gently asked, "Are you okay?"

With openness, confidence, and no hesitation, she replied, "Yes, I am okay." I gingerly guided her as she began "kissing" me, making true an answer of hers to one of my earlier questions, posed while still in the bar. She revealed a lack of experience, but readily accepted my gentle guidance. I became intoxicated with desire, and with the power that is a woman, burning to take her as mine: it was time. I was going to take her DS. I stood, and we went to the edge of the bed. I took the requisite precaution. As she yielded to me, she revealed her relative inexperience by not taking control, to guide me in. It made my feelings even more conflicted, but there was no stopping this. I was very gentle, and very ready, moving slowly, but firmly, to finish.

Then we showered, her first, then me. (Backwards from the normal protocol, I know. It's just how things worked out.) When we had arrived at my room, the sky was clear, with bright sun. I hadn't noticed the change in weather taking place. We dressed, then sat on the bed, talking, as the rain began to fall, heavily. We heard the sound, but Tracy asked what it was, perhaps thinking it was the air conditioner. I asked to find out more about her life. Tracy is her real nickname, that she's had since she was a small child. She told me her full name. She lives in a single room with her sister, whom she'd pointed out to me at the club. She said it is far away, "two jeepney ride" from the bar. She wasn't able to finish her education, and is working to help pay for her brother's. She complained that sometimes her sister did not listen to her advice, specifically about trying to stay in school, even though she, Tracy, was the elder sister. I have my doubts about her veracity on that point. She was in no hurry to return to the bar, but had to go back to wait for her sister. She was very comfortable as we sat and talked, waiting for the heavy rain to taper off. At some time during the conversation I slipped P1,000 into her pocket. My guilty conscience was telling me to give her a lot more. I was starting to feel a bond with her, a feeling that I needed to help her, protect her, be her champion. I am a fool; I always fuck with my heart. This was one of the girls I felt strong feelings for during my week in paradise.

The rain stopped just as abruptly as it had started, and the sky cleared. As we were preparing to leave, I offered her small packages of M&M's chocolate candies, but she took only one. I encouraged her to take more, but she took only one additional package, to give to her sister. Tracy had a very gentle and humble nature, exuding a strong sense of inner contentment, in spite of her sadness over the circumstances she was in. Describing her simple life, she'd said "I have everything I need."

We walked out of my room, down to the lobby, and I summoned the hotel's car to take us back to Lost In Asia. Strangely, dropping her off, I felt that I should get out and open the car door for her, but I didn't. I knew I wanted to see her again, but now it was time for a different adventure. The driver asked, "Where to, boss?"

"Club Atlantis", I replied.

Epilogue


A few days later, on my last full day in paradise, and I went back to Lost In Asia to buy a souvenir t-shirt, and to see Tracy again. There wasn't a car available, so I hired a trike, P50. At Lost In Asia, just as before, it took some time for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. As I looked around, I did not see Tracy. I asked a waitress if she was there, and soon, over she came. She was just as cute as before. I bought her a lady drink. She was friendly, and she seemed okay. We sat and cuddled, but I didn't really get "personal". I asked about her sister, who Tracy pointed out was over with "her boyfriend", a foreigner, American, of about 65 years. I asked if they actually boom-boom, she said no, BJ only. I said I'd buy a lady drink for her sister too. Tracy seemed to understand: I was there to be nice to her, essentially soothing my own conscience, and she was pleased to keep me company. Her sister's "boyfriend" left, and she came over and sat on the other side of Tracy. I told Tracy I was interested in a t-shirt, and she immediately popped up to get what I wanted, and brought it over. I looked at it, liked it, and decided to buy it. She very neatly folded it up and put it back in the package. I soon finished my beer, paid the bill and got up to leave. As she walked away, Tracy gave me a deep, beautiful, open smile with a flash in her eyes, like she appreciated that I had come back to visit with her. It meant so very much: the distilled essence of human interaction.


Filipina Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

Nicely put together, but a sad story at the same time.

It's nice to hear that some guys have a heart.