My Baby Dolls Girl
I met this girl in Baby Dolls in Pattaya, last year in September,
I saw her in a bar and she singled me out while she was dancing, pointing and smiling at me, saying choose me.
When she stopped dancing she came and sat with me and we talked and joked a lot and with her friends too, she told me she really liked me.
At the end of the night I bar fined her, we long timed for 4 days. At the end of the 4 days I said I would go home the next day and she burst out crying saying she loved me and gave me her email and phone number on a piece of paper.
This made me feel a bit emotional and I kept it and said I would call her. he next day I went. While I was in the airport I couldn’t resist sending her a message so I sent 'I love you too'. <Mistake! – Stick>
I sent it because I really liked her and we got on so well.
When I got home she called me and said she wanted to be my girlfriend. I couldn’t believe it but I said yes. I’m 29 by the way not old and fat.
We talked every day for hours, her telling me how much she loved me, missed me, and how she would never sleep with another man again and would only dance. She said I was the man for her. She got my name tattooed on her back 2 weeks later and had a T-shirt with my face on it saying pat love Louis and wore it around Pattaya. She filled her room with photos of me. I thought she loved me for sure. She said she never wants me for money, so I sent her none.
4 months later I went back to see her for a 4-month holiday. The day I got there she said we would go and see her family for a big party. We went to her family village in the Isaan area the next day which was a bit overwhelming. The night I got there it was raining and all I could see was a fire where they were cooking. They were all very happy to see me. I thought she must really think a lot of me to show them so quick. When we left she made me give them 5,000 baht. This at the time made me quite angry. I said you only want me for money. I didn’t understand Thai culture then but do now. <Gotta say I cannot think of any other country in the world where you get invited to someone's else and money is demanded of you when you leave! – Stick>
After 2 days in the home we went to see her sister. We stayed with her 2 weeks and would go out every day with her sister and spend a lot of money which was making me more and more angry, and we weren’t having much fun. I got drunk and was rude and kept telling her she only wanted me for money. She explained over and over that it was Thai culture and that's what the man does.
I did eventually understand and looking back I was a bit of an idiot. She forgave me and I started giving the family money every time we went to visit, and started getting on with her 5 year old daughter very well too. She even called me Ipor.
We had a long holiday with a lot of ups and downs, a lot of misunderstanding travelling around Thailand and Malaysia. I thought she only wanted me for money, not love, and insisted she was flirting with guys, and that she had guys when I was at home and didn’t love me really.
Doubting her love and loyalty upset her a lot, but she always forgave me and the next day was always a fresh start. I spent a lot of time doubting whether I loved her or wanted to see her again too, and she was having doubts as to whether I was the right man for her or not. This I know. I said I can change and she said the same thing.
2 weeks before I went home I saw that she had left her email account open and so I had a quick look. It was full of emails to men about love etc. I glanced at one and she had written something about her having a new man, but she saw me and went crazy. Telling me I cannot see what she did before. I was very upset, but the little bit I saw made me think maybe she was telling the truth about only having me.
At the end of the 4 months she was distraught, crying a lot in the airport. I felt terrible and thought she loves me for sure and I have to get my act together. I gave her 40,000 baht and went home.
We continued to talk 2 hours a day on Skype, and we agreed we would change for each other and that she loved me so much, and never wanted another man. I said I would start to send 10,000 baht a month to cover her rent and motorbike family etc, and she said it was enough with her 6,000 baht salary. So I believed her and we had lovely talks every day. She said I was like a husband to her and wanted to get married. She started to go to English school to learn so one day she could get a visa and live with me. The money stayed at 10,000 baht a month, except 1 month it was 30,000 because of family problems, apparently.
She changed her job to a restaurant waitress which she did for 3 days and said it was too hard work and shit money, so she went back to her old job where she became service, serving only drinks. She said she cannot short time if service so I could trust her more.
After she cleaned out her emails she gave me the password so I could check every day to show she wasn’t talking to these men any more. I did check every day for 4 months, and nothing came up. So I trusted her. I still asked her a lot if she was being good and not sleeping other men and she said she was not. She promised on her daughter’s life.
She let me call every night as soon as she finished work on the dot so I knew she wasn’t short timing, usually for about an hour chat, and when she woke up so I knew she hadn’t stayed the night with anyone. This happened every day for 4 months except for 1 or 2 where she went to a party and I couldn’t call. It was very convincing. <What an awful way to live, calling your girlfriend every day for months to check if she is on the straight and narrow – Stick>
I went back again 4 months later for a 5 week holiday. We understood each other a lot more and had a really good time, and a good time with her family too. It was a wonderful holiday. We went to a big temple and she said you can ask me anything and I cannot lie. So I asked how many men she had slept with since she has had me, and she said only 1 short time 1 year ago. As usual I believed her, but I still had doubt on my mind.
She said she wanted to marry me before I went home. I said no. I wasn’t sure if she was telling me the whole truth and was a bit scared about marriage. We do next time for sure and she said ok. I got a tattoo of her name, as she did before, to show my loyalty. She was very happy with this. I bought her a laptop with internet too so we could Skype every day for free and see each other.
I went home again but she didn’t seem so upset this time. This was 2 weeks ago.
We spoke every day as usual, and everything seemed fine. Until yesterday a man from before tried to add her on Facebook. I saw this first as she gave me the password to this too. On his profile he had just uploaded 40 pictures from 1 year ago, some dated from December in the exact format her camera used. This is 2 weeks before I came to see her last time. I couldn’t believe it. Why did he only put them up now?
Pictures of them in bed, kissing, going out, this all the time calling me saying she wasn’t doing anything like this! Some of the pictures of her naked I recognised as ones she had sent me before in email. She said a friend took the picture in a hotel when she was seeing her. Hmm.
I confronted her and emailed him back.
She said 'It was before, I wasn’t sure you were coming back to see me. I did it for money because you not send but I love you really not him.'
He said – we long timed for one week. I love her so much, we call every day in December until one day it stopped (this is the date I came out to see her). He tried calling her in April when he was in Pattaya next. She said to him (while I was with her family) I can come see you April 23, the day after I (me) was supposed to go home. He said every morning she would go out to talk on the telephone for a long time, and said it was to family. This is when she was talking to me!
He tells me he still loves her now. I said leave it I'm marrying her soon and she has changed.
I have forgiven her for this, as it was past and she wasn’t sure for me and needed money, and said she was scared of losing me and didn’t want to ask for money. Which I guess is fair.
What made me angry is that she wanted to see him after I went home for sex. Also that she promised on her kid’s life and swore in a Buddhist temple she had only me and loved me alone.
After semi breaking up with her, she has admitted she short-timed maybe 20 times when I was at home for money as 10,000 baht wasn’t enough. All this has really hit me hard.
I still love her so much, but I said if you need money you can ask. If she loved me really she wouldn’t do this?
She says now she wants one more chance. She won’t do it again, even if I don’t send her money.
She said we can go and live on her family’s farm and make money from the farm, be with the child and she said that she doest care if I don’t have money as we can make money together as long as we are together.
How can I trust her again?
If I get married and bring her here will she just sleep with all my friends?
I have said I will give her one more chance, and that I’m not sending any more money and she can short time and not tell me, but it breaks my heart.
Am I being stupid for giving another chance??
She said she won't short time ever again and will live off her 6,000 salary. How I don’t know because her room is 5,000 baht!
What am I supposed to do here? Shall I just end it now? Is it a con or are there real feelings?
She said if I finish she can’t bring another farang to her village as she will lose a lot of face.
We have been together a year now and she has lied to me the whole time.
I need some good advice please,
This woman has played you for a fool, and I am sorry to say that you have played your part in the whole debacle perfectly.
This woman has proved countless times that she is a liar, is devious and that honesty and integrity mean absolutely nothing to her.
Looking at her situation now, she is earning 6,000 baht a month and her room is 5,000 baht a month. Well, how do you think she can live? You caught her with one guy but how many more guys are out there that you don't know about?
It's clear that you have major doubts in your mind and you should never marry a woman when you have doubts, even the smallest doubts. The woman you marry is the one who you wouldn't even dream of wondering whether she is up to no good or not!
There is no reason to think that this woman will change and from the way you have described the situation you should cut all ties with her and walk away. I just cannot see any good coming from this.
Man up. There is no future with this venomous harlot. Walk away and don't EVER look back!