Stickman Readers' Submissions August 26th, 2010

Tips For Visiting A Thai Girl From Udon Thani Or Buriram

I stayed about a month in Buriram twice and I can say as a white guy (as we are called by Thai people) there are things that are going to happen when you visit the home of a Thai girl that you need to know and take precautions in so you do not blow it.

The number one thing you need to know is keep yourself clean. You are going to get sniffed 10 or 20 times a day. Yeah, Thai girls from the northeast smell you then give you a small kiss (if you smell good). I can not tell you how important it is to keep clean and that is your mouth first, underarms second and butt, toes, whatever dude. Keep it clean! You will get sniffed at the most unexpected times. I had a girl from Udon Thani who could lick a bottom like a puppy dog. She did this all the time and it felt great. I never had that happen before. I forgot to clean up good after a taking a potty and when she went down there she said it smelled bad and I never got licked again. I cannot stress the importance of this. This same Udon Thani girl told me she only had one boyfriend. She tried to make it work with him but he smelled bad and she tried to get over it but could not and had to let him go. She stayed 4 months until she could not take the smell anymore. I take a shower three times a day while here. I spray myself with cologne or something most of the time. The best I found is Abercrombie and Fitch no 41. I have not found a Thai girl that does not go crazy over that one. Many of the old things like Girorgio or Polo and such they do not like.

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Number two is shut up! Yeah, shut up! Do not say anything unless it in important or funny. Americans say too much and they say it very bluntly. They're worried about your feelings and such. Thai people do not do this. Yeah, two Thai girls can talk for hours but the boyfriend needs to shut up. You can be funny with her but to talk about feelings or important things very often or talk too deeply is something a Thai girl does not want to do. If you get too personal, she will say you talk too much. Statements like how are you feeling or is everything ok. What did you think about the sex dear was it good enough? Why do you sell your body? They do not want to be made accountable for their actions or think about such things. Try to figure these things out for yourself by watching her. For example, did she come all over herself and fall over with no power and say something like I am coming and after say you took my power. You can guess the sex was good. So shut up and it will pay dividends later that night I promise you.

Lastly listen to your Thai girl. I mean listen to what she says. A Thai girl will say what she wants in passing or very gently, always leaving you a second option out. For example, I was shopping for my daughters and she says these are nice shorts. I could come back later and get them with my money. Translation: I really like those shorts and I want to you to buy them. I did not buy them because I did not really even notice what she was saying. Later she was very quiet and I ask what's the matter and she says I liked those shorts and wanted to buy them but you never listen to me. In America the girl would be saying get me those shorts or I am not leaving the store. This is not the Thai women's way. Another example would be when she says I would like to go to movie or stay home and go another day. Translation: I would really like to go to movie and can we go now! Stay home is the Thai way of giving you an out to be polite. So dude, bring her to the movie.

Next if a Thai girl says I am hungry, feed her then and there. There is no set time for eating with these girls. They could eat early morning mid day mid afternoon, midnight, who knows. There is no set time so be flexible. I do not understand this eating thing someone else posted a whole paper on feeding Thai girls on this site I can just say every word is true. One day she may eat 5 times a day and that includes eating right after you just ate. The next day she may not eat all day. So dude feed the chick or you will have a problem. Now on feeding her I do not mean white people food. Do not waste your time as she will pick at it and act like she is eating it just to be polite. And then say she is hungry. I mean local Thai food very hot, so hot you can not put it in your mouth don’t forget the sticky rice. If she does not eat rice she will say she is hungry again soon. When she orders food I order a serving of rice with what ever they order. Its cheep and saves you from eating 30 min. Later.

Lastly you are going to screw everything up! That is you are not going to do it the Thai way. Be flexible listen to her if she likes you she will gently tell you the Thai way and expect you to do it. The Thai girl will be sizing you up to see if you can fit in to her family and if you like her family this is very important. I say that again this is very important. Her family is everything to her. If you are with her she has probably been selling her body so her family can eat or have nice things. The Thai girl I am with now told me I can see you like my family so it makes it easy for me to like you. She will be seeing if you can be a good provider and fit in to her family. As I said this is paramount to her.

One last thing and probably the most important thing about your Thai girl bargirl or otherwise. The other guy or guys in her life! If your girl is a bargirl or a working girl or even most Thai girls, they have another guy, maybe two other guys. They may love that guy more than you (probably does) and is in contact with him on a regular basis. She is going to keep her options open. You must remember you are a white guy and you are not a sure thing. Maybe she has been left by white guys before. Maybe she is not sure you are the one. This is where many people will fall out with me on this one but I think you need to be gracious and win her love and respect and be there for her. When she is with you, she is with you. Be happy about that – she is not with the other guy! Make your time with her special. If you have to leave her in Thailand only go for three months at most. That is as long as a Thai girl can wait. Remember while you are gone then the other guy has the advantage because he probably lives in Thailand. (If it is an Asian guy you may be screwed and need to get another girl.) Then she is probably with him (white guy). So call her every day and tell her you are thinking of her. Send her a little money often is better than a lot of money once or twice. (people will fall out with the money thing I am sure.) Also promise her some things and keep them. This is going to put pressure on her relationship with the other guy and wait for the relationship to blow up with the other guy. When it blows up then you are the man! I would not talk about the other guy or even bring him up. Worry about making your relationship the best it can be with her and soon it will be if you have a shot at all to be together. There are so many things to overcome when dating a Thai girl, namely crazy her, the language, the food, the culture the family and the other guys. Success is so difficult that you probably have a cold day in hell chance that it will work out but what the hell, give it a try. You may get played or you may find love, (even if it is one sided). In the end you get to be together with a very hot young girl who trusts you loves your money and maybe even likes you.

Good luck!

Stickman's thoughts:

It's hard to comment on this submission as I think a lot of the points you make are fundamentally right but lack nuance. Of course, this submission is pretty much bargirl-centric and less applies to urban educated, girls in gainful employment. You're on to many things, but – and I mean no disrespect here – you don't do a very good job of explaining them and generalise rather a little too much.

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