Stickman Readers' Submissions August 25th, 2010

Age Or Appearance?

Is it possible the Thai expats with the idea the age gap should be smaller are actually just referring to the "appearance gap" instead?

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It's just an idea, but I wonder if the expats are really more disgusted by the type of mismatch of a fat or bald white guy with a cheap t-shirt and shorts with a young bargirl dressed to go out to a disco.

I only mention this, since as a young expat 10 years ago, I had the same thoughts about the age gap. Looking back in hindsight, I've come to realize my real problem back then, and even now, is with the major difference in appearances of the farang and the Thai girl.

Of course, more often than not, the ugly guy is usually also quite old looking. In fact, I've noticed most look older than they really are, due to hard drinking, eating badly or too much, and just generally not taking care of themselves all too well.

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I know guys in my gym who lift weights (in the USA) who are in their 40s and could pass for being in their early 30s and even late 20s. In Thailand, at Tony's Gym, there was a guy from Oz in this 50s who had a better build than most Western men in their mid 20s. Looking at his face, I originally thought he was 35-40. I've seen a lot of Western bodybuilders at the Tony's Gym on Walking Street who are in their mid 30s to mid 40s with Thai bargirls in the 18-25 (max) age group and they looked better as a couple (physically) than "normal" Thai couples where the expat was average to slightly pudgy (i.e. your average Western farang) with an average non-BG Thai girl (again, usually average in weight with a plain face).

It could be that that when both the man and woman are attractive, the age gap doesn't seem as big an issue visually. I suspect this to be true, since the reality is that looks matter, and psychologically the "beautiful people" always "look" smarter, younger, and more competent – at least that is what so many Western articles have indicated on the subject, and it is definitely how I've seen things.

I certainly prefer to have that age gap and a nice build, along with a younger but nicer looking girl. Of course, I will be the first to admit that looks matter, for myself as well as who I will call a girlfriend or wife. As my ex-wife said once, there is nothing wrong in using looks as the FIRST filter (but not the last). The problem with her and I was that we were not so great at the second and third filters (funny but true).

In any case, this is what I noticed, especially with what I've seen on Walking Street. This trend may not be as noticeable in Bangkok, since Pattaya attracts a subculture of bodybuilders and has a lot more highly fit men in their 30s to late 40s than perhaps would exist in Bangkok. <Gotta disagree strongly here. I think the state of the Westerners resident in Pattaya is pretty bad and I don't see a lot of fit, clean-living guysStick>

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None of the above means a young farang with a young Thai woman is not the BEST couple. I have seen a lot of these pairings in Pattaya too, since I've noticed younger men tend to like the beach and sun, which has led me to notice the expats and punters in Bangkok tend to be both older and less fit.

Another observation is that while the expats may be saying a relationship should have a small age gap, I think the reality is that most of these expats (especially the older ones who are saying this) may be just learning to do as the Thais have done for a very very long time. They may not have younger girlfriends, but they are still shagging the younger girls (especially in terms of the hookers and bargirls).

I hope the expats talking about the age gap are referring to couples where the men met their wives or girlfriends in their mid 20s to 30. Because if they expect less than 3 years in the age gap, it would mean the man had better have met his Thai wife before she hit 30. Unless he is with a non-Issaan woman, they really tend to get fat and their faces tend to start looking scrunchy (and not so nice anymore) as they get older. Just look at the girl's mom if you want to see her future, in the look of her face and the size of her butt.

Finally, one lesson to remember is that you ALWAYS look better and more attractive when you exercise and eat right, and those that look better and more attractive tend to APPEAR younger. On the other hand, sadly, being young does not ever guarantee you actually look attractive to anyone. I have seen this with some of the most nasty looking young Thai women and weird looking young farangs. Thailand does attract numerous young unattractive men.


Stickman's thoughts:

I find myself disagreeing with a lot of points you make! Westerners resident in Pattaya tend to be older and they aren't always people who have looked after themselves. On top of that, the typical Pattaya lifestyle does not necessarily keep one healthy, although a lot of sexercise doesn't hurt!

In Bangkok, you have a lot of guys in bad shape, but you have a lot of guys in shape and a big gym culture here. Go to any of the gyms in downtown Bangkok and you'll see a lot of Western residents working out.

As for Thai women aging, yep, typically, Isaan women age much faster and for the worse than those from other parts of the country.

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