Readers' Submissions

Why I Date Younger Women

  • Written by Anonymous
  • July 19th, 2010
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

If you are over 40, single or divorced, you are certainly a loser. I place myself in this camp and believe it is true for both men and women. By loser, I'm not placing judgement on myself or anyone else. I see the term as meaning we have “lost” the ability to find and maintain an intimate and passionate relationships with women in our same age group. It has little to do with Western or Asian society but simply a change in perspective based on life experience.

10 years ago I first visited Thailand with a good friend, and we soon picked up girls in a Phuket disco. They weren't overtly prostitutes and we weren't expected to pay for play. They were much younger than ourselves, and walking hand in hand through the markets and tourist areas was an adventure. The looks of disgust from nearly every western visitor was embarrassing. We called it the walk of shame, but it was worth being treated as if we had value. For me it had little to do with sex. In fact the sex was ho hum to say the least, but I really enjoyed the company and the intimacy (whether or not the intimacy was a delusion). I had gone through a divorce and the tropical environment added to the fantasy.

I've been back to Thailand many times and visited all of the countries in SE Asia. I won't be back but not because of anything in particular—just finally tired of the land of scams.

Getting back to my main point, why do men over 40 seek younger women? For me, it has little to do with nubile good looks and endless great sex. I simply find older women ruined by guess what, previous relationships with guys just like me! All of the negative relationships they experienced in the past are never forgotten or forgiven. I dated many women near my own age, and without fail, their a-hole ex is constantly being analyzed, probed, and discussed. It's no wonder they are so bitter and angry. They never let go of anything. So from the first moment you meet they are wondering if I'm going to be the same as the ex. Will I cheat? Will I be a drunk or a gambler? Will I steal their money and take advantage of them again? That my friend is no way to live life, and I don't enjoy being judged from the first moment onwards. I enjoy being with younger women because they make me feel good about myself. They're more fun to be around because they haven't been jaded by life's past experiences.

Why are women disgusted with men dating much younger women? In the case of the 23 year old, I think for her it is somewhat race related. Because she is partly Asian she feels stigmatized by seeing older men and their Thai girlfriends. Perhaps she feels that others might judge her as someone who might stoop so low as to become intimate with an older man. This thought paralyses her because she fears that others will judge her as an uneducated Isaan girl. She fears that people will see her as a prostitute because she imagines every Thai girl that dates an older man is a prostitute. Of course her fears are nonsense but that is the point. She takes the time to judge every Western man as a loser for simply choosing a young Thai woman as a companion. At the same time she rejoices in her sexual conquests of younger men to further distance herself from this old and young relationship dichotomy. To be fair, I am in agreement with much of what she states regarding whoremongers who are only in Thailand to buy sex.

So why are most Western women disgusted with men and their young Thai girlfriends? I think that perspective has been discussed to death. In most cases, they are certainly not just jealous. They would not even consider sleeping with most of the pot-bellied and smelly old drunks you see wandering the streets of Pattaya, and western women are no longer dependent on men to be secure financially secure (at least in most cases). I think they are simply alarmed at the rampant and open prostitution in Thailand, and they will lump any relationship between a Western man and a Thai girl as part of the prostitution scene.

If you are over 40 and want to have a relationship with a woman in her 20s or 30s you go to countries like Thailand. This is primarily because of economics. Young women in the West can now make more money than men in many cases. They no longer have to settle for the sagging bodies and ancient attitudes of men such as myself. I don't care if you're in the gym 7 days a week and have the sexual stamina of a porn star. You will never be accepted in their social circle and I cannot imagine a 20 year old girl in today's society even considering dating a middle aged man unless he was very wealthy or famous. You have a better chance of finding a relationship with a younger woman in Thailand or the Philippines.

I can imagine any woman reading this submission and thinking to herself, this guy is such a loser. There are loads of great 40 year old gals in the West. To those readers I say, I would love to meet a fun loving, non-judgemental, open minded lady without relationship issues. I just don't know if they exist in middle age.

Stickman's thoughts:

I like your frankness and honesty. I have to say that when I make it back to my homeland and am out and about, many single women aged 35+ seem to have a REAL chip on their shoulder and their attitude is a real turn off.