What a Lovely Shit Storm
I would like to extend my thanks to our friend, “a Half-Chinese girl”. By insulting us Stickmanites en-mass, she has provided a conduit for the excellent sport we have enjoyed over the past few days.
On the one hand we have an indignant young lady offended by the combined lechery of a diverse group of amateur writers whom she has never met. On the other hand we have a number of measured and not so measured responses from those who feel they have been slighted through her diatribe.
Although a number of contributors, including “HCG”, have raised valid points, it is interesting that the strength of feeling on the rights and wrongs of Mongering in Thailand is such that many contributors (again including HCG) have been unable to resist resorting to personal abuse.
Although broadly on the side of freedom of choice, I can sympathise with the anger felt by “HCG” at being propositioned on the basis of her genetics – i.e. a female of Asian origin in Thailand = whore. This is an assumption commonly made by many in the West about Thai women, especially those with foreign husbands or boyfriends. As you would imagine, respectable Thai women wrongly categorised in this way deeply resented it. To draw a comparison, it is a bit like viewing every Muslim as an Al-Qaeda sympathiser and potential suicide bomber!
Conversely, I am somewhat at odds with “HCG’s” view of success as defined by money and status. She derides her critics by stating that at the age of 23 her job probably pays more than theirs. How is this relevant – is she suggesting that the validity of her argument is in some way related to the size of her salary? In reality I suspect that a number of contributors to Stickman’s readers’ submissions are quite wealthy individuals. It is very illuminating when she describes a western middle aged middle manager as being unsuccessful and by implication someone that nobody would want to sleep with. Most people would accept that a middle manager working within a large UK Organisation holds a challenging and responsible position. This would be recognised through his overall remuneration package, which might reasonably exceed £100K. If “HCG” views this as failure, then perhaps she should be dating a brash young merchant banker? On reflection, perhaps not – I believe these gentlemen are well represented in the lap-dancing clubs of London and New York. No doubt they are also to be found in the Go-Go bars in Thailand!
“HCG” makes much of her displeasure at encountering middle aged Mongers’ accompanied by much younger bargirls. I wonder whether the issue here is really the age difference between the girl and her customer? A high proportion of western men suffer some hair loss, and even assuming he exercises frequently and watches his diet, a middle aged man is unlikely to be able to maintain the physique of a 20 year old. This is the reality of the ageing process. The only alternative to ageing is death! Is there some law of which I’m unaware, preventing an older man having a younger girlfriend, or vice versa?
It would seem to me that the root cause of any justified disapproval has more to do with demeanour and behaviour. A loud, aggressive, drunk, dishevelled and badly dressed Farang indulging in inappropriate displays of public affection with a semi-naked and equally badly behaved bargirl, understandably offends many (both Thais and Non-Thais). However, were they both to dress and behave respectfully, then would a reasonable person have just cause to be offended? I cannot see why “HCG” should object to such a couple enjoying breakfast together. Given they have every right to be there and are harming nobody, then whose business is it other their own?
A central theme running through “HCG” two submissions is that Mongers’ are middle aged losers who demonise western women because they are unable to find a girlfriend in their own countries, and then present themselves as alpha males based on their ability to buy the services of a Thai prostitute. I accept that some Mongers’ may fall into this category, but equally many do not. It is certainly true that most men (excepting the rich, famous and powerful) become progressively less attractive to younger women as they age. It is also true that for many reasons (e.g. choice, bereavement, divorce or the breakdown of a relationship) a significant number of older men are single. Given that many older men retain their sex drive and are biologically programmed to mate with the most physically attractive females available to them, it is unsurprising that they seek out young Thai bargirls. The foolish will either endeavour to engage the girl in a long term relationship, or delude themselves into believing that such an arrangement is based on anything other than money. The sensible Monger will recognise it for what it is – a mutually beneficial short term transaction, and move on. “HCG” should note that moving on often means returning to his country of origin in order to pursue a long-term “conventional” relationship.
For younger guys; a two week trip to Pattaya, sunbathing, drinking, visiting clubs and indulging in casual sex is no different to what is on offer in the Spanish or Greek islands. Ok, so they have to pay the girls for their company, but the overall cost may be no greater than procuring non-prostitutes for short term sexual liaisons through traditional means. The bargirl option provides additional benefits in terms of both choice and certainty. “HCG” should also understand that some young and attractive western men do genuinely find Thai women (even bargirls) more alluring than women in their home countries.
Prostitution is known as “the oldest profession” for good reason in that it exists to satisfy the most basic of human needs. It should not be either applauded or derided. It simply is!
Although technically illegal, prostitution in Thailand is widespread. The industry servicing local demand is much larger than that catering for foreigners. Sensibly, Thai customers are much more discrete in the way they make use of these services. If the industry catering for foreign tourists was more closely aligned to what is provided for domestic consumption, then perhaps there would be fewer complaints from the likes of “HCG” and Thailand’s reputation abroad would also benefit?
I am currently outside Bangkok and pressed for time. A lot of submissions have come in responding to the half-Chinese Girl's two articles and I want to get them up online quickly. I would prefer to take the time to read through these articles and comment but that is time I just don't have at the moment. It's a case of either publish without comments, or not publish for a few days. I have decided to publish. My apologies for no comments appearing.