The Western Mentality
It is so apparent the tone of a westerner's "I am better than you" article submission. It is not just on Stickman, but any website you go to that has bloggers or articles about their life situation. Some articles on this website are just
sharing a story or relating an experience and some, as of recent, are condemnation articles. In this article I am going to set the record straight about western vs. other societies attitudes that I have experienced and why I see things the way
I do. Of course the disclaimer is that this is my view point and may be shared by some and disagreed with by others.
LP (Loser's Paradise) is such a great example of the western female mentality. The belief that they have everything figured out and that their opinion actually counts. When we disagree with her immature perspective, LP fails to realise that we know we can not change her brainwashed, superior, western mentality, but we are writing our disagreement for the benefit of others. Most youth feel they are invincible and that nothing will ever happen to them. They feel the world is theirs for the taking and how easy life will be. Obviously, many of us older men know this feeling from our youth and until some point in our life that we realised our own mortality, we had the same perspective. I say men, because I can not speak for women.
Independence vs. Family:
In the west we are taught independence so early, that all we dream of is leaving home at 18. Maybe we live close, maybe we don't. Maybe we keep in touch, maybe we don't. All that matters is freedom from our parents' control and rules and our 18th birthday signifies our true independence. We really have lost our sense of family values that we had 50 years ago. Compare this to most Asian countries and we see that family, to them, is number one. Many westerners do not understand this because to be dependent on family is seen as a weakness. It is seen as losing our independence if we have to support our family in any way. I am not talking about our immediate family, I am talking about parents, siblings, etc. Why do we see so little homeless in Thailand? Yet in the US they are everywhere. For the most powerful, modernized, industrialized nation on the planet, we can not do something as simple as take care of the homeless? If you are in trouble financially, physically or emotionally in Thailand there is always a family member willing to help. Such a simple act can tell you so much about a society and their values.
Entitlement vs. Equality:
In the west women are always preaching equality. Women deserve same pay, same jobs, same responsibility, etc. Yet, if we go to dinner, I am expected to pay. If we go on vacation, I am expected to pay. If I do not then I am a cheap bastard, but if I do pay then it is considered normal. What about this 50/50 I always hear women screaming about? It is always hypocritical. They feel they are entitled to our chivalry because they are a woman. Our society, media, movies, books and even TV always portray that if a man cheats he is a no-good-dirty-dog, but if the woman cheats it is because the man was not doing his job in the relationship. Compromising is 50/50. Western women compromise when they do not care about the issue, but will not give an inch if they feel strong about something. In SE Asia women are still women and most of us find this appealing because we get to play our man's role without the constant harassment of why everything we do is wrong because Oprah or Dr. Phil said so.
There is no reason to go on about the court system as all of us know how skewed it is in favor of women. It does not matter why or how it came about, it just is the way it is. But, for the life of me, I have never figured out why a woman thinks she deserves half of my assets or more when she has only brought nothing but misery to my life. She comes to my life empty handed and then walks away a rich woman. The excuse that she is accustomed to a certain lifestyle and deserves to maintain this while having to do nothing is ridiculous. She encourages me to work hard, so we can have everything she wants, but of course after a couple years, I am working too much and she feels lonely. She files for divorce because I am not home enough and tells all her friends how much she sacrificed and how I was never there! For us western men in the west it is constantly a lose/lose situation with the constant fear of losing everything if we do not act according to whatever the woman feels that day! In SE Asia you do not see this at any level comparable to the west.
Expectation vs. Gratitude:
In the west we have nothing but expectations placed on us men by the women. It is so bad now that in many states if you marry a woman with a child or two and then divorce, you will in many cases being paying child support. Paying child support for children that are not even yours! The reason is said to be twofold; 1) You make more money than the children's real father or 2) They can not find him, so you have to pay. Never does this happen in SE Asia. Not that I have heard of anyway. If you date a woman in the west it is expected that you do everything financially to make them happy and rarely do you even get a thank you. In SE Asia, specifically Thailand, you are given wai after wai for something as small as buying someone water. The gratitude you get for doing courteous and kind things for people in SE Asia is almost mind boggling. The kindness towards others in Thailand is one of the most appealing for me. A great example was during the red shirt protests. Everyday you would see Thai people bringing water and food to the soldiers. I would see people go into 7/11, buy something and bring it to the soldiers nearby. I would see trucks stopping near a group of soldiers and people would off load food and water from the back of their truck. I am sure Stickman saw this during his rounds. <Saw it and wrote about it – "The Spirit of Thais" – Stick> It was not expected, but a kind thing to do and the gratitude of the soldiers was amazing. I have never seen this in the west.
Western Women Losing their Power:
As you see the tone of articles, blogs and more from western women, you can see they are starting to lose their power in treating us like doormats. As more information about how much better women are in other societies, men will start to flock to those areas. I meet tourists and expats all the time here in Thailand with the same complaints about western women. Now these men range from 21 – 65. So, taking all the common themes from across the spectrum of ages is enlightening to me. The most common theme is they are tired of being treated like crap and it is nice to travel or live in places where people still have respect for others. Most people I meet are not part of the bar scene. I heard before that there are approximately 18,000+ expats living in Chiang Mai. Not only do we have such a small bar girl scene, but whenever I travel down in and around those areas, they are all empty. The only people I see appear to be tourists hanging out and most are young.
As women in the west start to lose their control factor they will accost us with derogatory comments or put everyone in the same little box, so as to make us feel bad and then we going running back with our heads between our legs. Well this is just not going to happen. Why is it that so few expat women live here? With all their power, intelligence, beauty and free sex available, why can they not find a man here with the extraordinary amount of expats living in Thailand? Most get disgruntled and just head home with nothing but complaints about the expats here in Thailand. I have read similar stories on Stickman where it is so comical to reject a western woman in Thailand because of the follow up attitude you get. From the begging to the "Fuck you". I have personally experienced both and I just shrug it off to them being western and ignorant. I was out the other night before one of the FIFA matches and had to listen to a English chick accost her boyfriend for almost 2 hours. Since everyone within 10 feet could here this, I got to listen until my impatience was at its limits. The topics ranged from her vast knowledge of travelling, even though boyfriend said this was her first time out of her country to jealousy of him looking at Thai women to her vast amount of education. It was completely ludicrous. It was the basic "I am a western woman", "I am entitled to my opinion" and "I do not care if everyone around hears me because I am free to say what I want". This is just another example of no respect for the man she is with or even the country she is in. Thai people do not show public arguing nor public affection. Just another advantage I find very appealing here.
I could go on and on with too many examples to count. Let me give you my quick background to explain a little further my reasons for coming to this place.
For all my time in the west, when I was single, it was centered around bars and clubs. I racked up so many one night stands that sometimes it actually shocks me when I reflect on my life. It was my life and that's what I did. When I was single, I played single. When I was in a relationship, I played relationship. I do not say this lightly as I prefer to keep my past to myself, but it goes to the point of even with all the free sex available in my own country, many men look for more in life. I do not care about the bargirl / gogo bar scene, as for wherever I travelled it was not necessary for me to use in scoring with a woman. It has its reasons for being there and I would defend it before denigrating it, but that was discussed in previous articles about morality. That is not my point in this submission.
So, while travelling to many different countries around the world, I found many societies that were more superior in character. An overall impression I got when travelling. I almost felt ignorant that I had not travelled earlier in life. I am only 39 and still have many years ahead of me. I decided from all my travels I wanted to come live in Thailand for the next 5 – 10 years or longer. Here is a quick breakdown:
1) I have the monetary ability to do this now.
2) I enjoy the culture, tradition, people, food and weather.
3) I enjoy the attitude presented here.
4) I enjoy the fact that for a country not high on the global scale for economics, the people are genuinely happy.
5) The most important. After everything said in this submission, I was tired of western women's belief in superiority, never taking any responsibility for their actions, their inability to appreciate the small things in life, their genuine lack of respect for men, their overall attitude that they are always right and us men are always wrong, and many many more that maybe some other submissions will cover.
Bottom line is #5 above was the reason to want to live abroad and #1 – #4 made me choose Thailand. This is my only life. I am not going to sacrifice it by being denigrated every time I do something that was not pleasing to the western woman I am with. I am a MAN! First and foremost and as a MAN, I live my life accordingly. No longer will I put up with bullshit western women because my PC society says I must. I will respect the ones I love and will be respected in return. I will take care of the ones I love because I know they will take care of me. I will respect the country I live in because that country respects me. No longer will I live in fear that if I do something slightly wrong in some western woman's opinion, my life will head to oblivion. I am a MAN 100% and that's the bottom line.
I am not delusional, I am not a sex tourist, I am not a "sex-god". I am just one man trying to live a happy life and I found that Thailand is the place I feel most happy. Not everyone feels the same and this is ok. You try to find the place that makes you most happy and live there. For some it is a big city, where others it can be a small village. For some it can be a foreign country or their own. Regardless of the ignorance of others, regardless of the immaturity of others, regardless of western women's condemnation, us men will go to where we want to be happy and enjoy life as we see it to be enjoyed. Go ahead and put labels on us, go ahead and denigrate us, go ahead and say what losers we are, but in the end we are the ones that are happy living our life and you are the miserable ones not understanding even a simple thing like happiness.
Take care gang,
Beautifully put together, balanced and completely fair. I simply don't see how a Western woman could refute ANY of the excellent points you made.
I think there are only two things we need in life – health and happiness. And if Thailand is the place where you're happiest, that's great!