Readers' Submissions

Perspective Changes With Maturity

  • Written by BKKSteve
  • July 10th, 2010
  • 7 min read



Perspective changes with maturity, at least for most of us.

Anyone who has ever had children, or worked with college age students, knows that at 23 they really think they’ve got the world figured out. They might try to sound experienced and tell you they don’t, but inside they’re thinking they know it all. They can’t help themselves. There are only a few things age and experience provide in a way nothing else can, and that’s perspective. This isn’t a bad thing, but it is a constant bell curve from the day we’re born to the day we die. Maturity is understanding you’re currently somewhere on that bell curve and you still don’t have it all figured out. This realization allows you to stop wasting time thinking you know it all, and to actually move on gaining perspective in life. Sadly, some never figure this out and they’re stuck back with a 17 year olds perspective in a 50 year old body. Know anyone like that?

Ms. LP (Losers Paradise) as I’ll refer to her I think did a really good job of expressing her perspective of the seedy side of Thailand through her 23 year old eyes. I think she was fair and put much thought into her submission. Yet, having a different perspective than her and a few more years experience, I see some areas where she’s either flat wrong or just generalizing far too much. Don’t get me wrong, I see these same wrong statements and the same generalizing written into subs from men far older than myself. I myself probably write wrong statements at time and I’m sure not everyone sees things the way I do.. ;o)

JTG did a decent job of hitting the most important areas where Ms. LP could concentrate her future observations so I’m not going to go into a long list of what I don’t agree with. I’m going to come from another direction, actually two directions, because they haven’t yet been covered and I’d guess they’re flying right over many heads.

First, what motivation would a 23 year old girl (sorry, until we meet I just can’t bring myself to call you a woman J) have for paying attention to the monger population and writing to a monger site? Thailand experiences hundreds of thousands of such tourists every year and how many 23 year old girls end up finding and then writing into StickmanBangkok.com? Why? At what stage in life is a 23 year old western girl?

When my kids were 23 they were in college, either undergrad or just starting their masters programs. They were doing papers on all kinds of social issues. Do you guys mind being part of a college paper? Or perhaps at 23 she’s just starting as a journalist. Even more fun. I doubt she simply has a fascination with what she deems as losers. Doubt me? Look at the organization of her submission and the specific areas she chose to talk about. See it yet?

Second, the most important point she made wasn’t what she said. Her point was that she was watching, observing, and judging. The most valuable thing StickmanBangkok.com readers can gain from Ms. LP’s submission isn’t the individual points some have lamented over. It’s simply the fact that EVERYONE is watching you and judging you. And most are making more generalized and less accurate observations and judgments than is she.

So what you say? Okay, if you’re a life long dedicated monger and you carry the platinum club card then so what. I agree. However, if you work, have family back home, expect to use your time here on your resume, or perhaps in the future date a western lady.. then you’d better be paying attention. Remember my submission a while back http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader2007/reader4297.htm that women can smell a man who’s been part of the monger scene? From a mile away or longer they can. It’s amazing how accurate they can be. What about if your job requires a government security clearance? Do you realize HR managers are now routinely running on-line forensics on potential hires? The stench of the monger scene stays with you in places you would never think of. It reminds me of the fine grained almost powdery sands of Iraq. One tour in the sandbox and years later you’re still finding the sand where you’d least expect it. You’re time in Thailand, especially if associated with the monger scene, or friends who are part of the monger scene, or websites that are part of the monger scene, are like the sands of Iraq.. always turning up when and where you least expect it.

The term “loser” sure seemed to hit a nerve with some. Several people were so quick to defend and so quick to argue that ‘terrible’ label they missed these points. Why so quick? Yes I know, it’s more than obvious.

Some have cast doubt on Ms. LP’s experiences, using their own experience as if no other is possible. Wow. Could we be more limited if we tried? My own experiences are a bit different but along the same lines. My youngest boy is half Korean and half Caucasian and if you’re up on Thailand or Asia in general then you’ll know the girls think this is the hottest look possible. Koreamania is in full swing and is even popular in the states. They swarm the kid and he’s just 17. So yes.. there are certain types that can sleep with someone new every night of the week if they so choose.

And it’s not all about looks. There are guys here who are 50+ who can routinely sleep with the younger pretty girls and we’re not talking working girls. But while I’m sure there is the occasional 25 year old who gets off on 50 year old guys, and probably more who might not make it their first choice but would enjoy the experience nonetheless, most of these girls are sleeping with you for an ulterior motive. It might not be cash in the morning, usually it’s the “long game” because they see you as a someone they wouldn’t mind being married to because you might be okay looking for your age, you might be a nice guy, but ultimately it’s about how you can improve their life. It could even be so they can show off to friends that they bagged a farang the night before. They have their reasons and don’t fool yourself into thinking it’s purely about sexual attraction. If you’re lucky it’s a minor reason.

It’s funny, I’ve seen with my own eyes most everything Ms. LP wrote about, from the young girls sitting there at the breakfast table without talking to their older benefactor, to men making asses of themselves after drinking too much (some don’t even need to drink), to even being given evil eyes and snide comments when people assume my son is someone other than my son..

The object of gaining perspective, and by the way of perspective.. wisdom.. is not in picking apart the parts of a submission you don’t agree with, labeling the writer, or anything of that nature. You gain perspective by trying to understand where the writer’s perspective was and what their motivation might be in writing the submission. The only thing the attacks on Ms. LP do is make the writer feel a bit better for a short amount of time, and perhaps other like thinkers might rah-rah them on a bit. AND they label themselves in a rather transparent way to those who read their responses.

I would recommend StickmanBangkok.com readers really put some thought into Ms. LP’s submission. Respond if you will, but also put thought into how your submission will be perceived. My guess is she’s a student or student journalist gathering data. I sincerely doubt she’s just another western woman trying to lecture us. An alternative would be a 23yo with a rather advanced curiosity of the human sexual animal.. and that my friends would be the most fun result of all.. J

Until next time..

Stickman's thoughts:

Excellent and I personally agree with almost every point you make.

I look at my own development in my time in Thailand and my views have changed on a lot of things, as can be evidenced by what I have written. Some things I have done a total about face on!