Stickman Readers' Submissions July 21st, 2010

Orang-utans, Renoir And Freddie Mercury

I met her in a bar. Her career as a bargirl had commenced ten minutes earlier. No it was not a case of a girl telling me that in order to suggest to me she was almost a virgin. She had a friend, an older woman who was long past barfines, who lived in the same rooming house as her who was a waitress in this bar. The girl had recently been working as a receptionist in a hotel, and Lek, suggested she should try her hand working in a bar.

Lek was keen to introduce me to the new girl. The girl who I shall call Da, later told me that Lek had told her that in all her years working in Pattaya, she had only met three good men, and I was one of them. Flattered as I was, I considered others might interpret this as she has met three idiots with more money than sense.

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I have to say, that pretty as Da was, I might not have talked to her at all if Lek had not intervened. I tend to look at girls that wear dresses that scream “Come and get me”. She was wearing a white loose-fitting skirt, that even when she sat down, only rose a few inches above the knee. She also had a blue top on, which while displaying some cleavage, didn’t make her stand out in a crowd.

As I talked to Da, I had a feeling there was something different about this girl. One of the things I have learned from my travels to Thailand, is though a girl might want a customer, that customer may not necessarily be you, but she will go with you in any case, purely for the money. Frequently, this then leads to the phenomenon where she will metamorphosise into a dead starfish when she gets to your hotel bedroom. Personally, I am not so desperate to relieve myself that I will want Starfish to stay with me. I send her on her way and put the money down to experience.

Nowadays, in an attempt avoid Starfish; while I am carrying out the job interview questions, I watch the body language. While I talked with Da, I watched the body language, as well as her facial expressions. There was openness about her, as well as an air of confidence that she was both comfortable with herself, as well as talking to me. Her eyes had a sparkle that told me she enjoyed life, and as we talked, it didn’t take long to work out this was no bimbo, and she was very intelligent, speaking by Thai standards, excellent English. I talk very quickly, but she didn’t have to ask me to repeat myself too much.

As I said, I thought there was something different from her right from the start. Within 15 minutes, I told her I was going to Chiang Mai in two days and asked her if she wanted to come with me. Immediately I regretted the question. It occurred to me that we had talked for a few minutes, she appeared to know nothing about me, and the likelihood was if she went to Chiang Mai with someone on such short acquaintance, then she would be dumped after two days, and left to find her own way home. Yes, some of us can be right bastards.

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To my surprise, she said “Yes”. By this time, it is coming up to 9.00 pm, so without even paying the barfine, I take her to the travel agents on Second Rd, and get her a ticket on the same flights as I have booked for myself. All the time I am with her, I am feeling happier by the minute, and wondering why does this girl make me feel different.

At this time, I am recalling a little problem I have regarding the fact I already have a girl in my room. I had met this girl on a previous trip, and she had since returned to her home in Udon Thani. When I had come back to Thailand, she met me at BKK. To cut a long story short, much as I liked this girl, I knew she was not going to be happy with me in the long term, so I had told her earlier that day she would have to leave in the morning. I did reward her handsomely for the time she spent with me, but I was not going to throw her out after she had come all the way from Udon.

So I tell Da about this little problem, and tell her I will get another room in the same hotel. She is ok with this. We go to the hotel, and immediately are confronted by Thai bureaucracy. In order to rent the room, I have to show a passport, even though the staff know me as a regular guest. My passport is in the safety box, which cannot be accessed after 9.00 pm. I suggest that they should copy the details from my registration card, but am told that this is locked away in an admin office. Da suggests we book the room in her name using her ID card, and this is accepted by the night clerk.

We go back to the bar, and I pay the barfine and get back to the business of drinking. All the time, I am questioning why I feel this warm glow from being with Da. Actually, it was me doing the drinking, while Da only had soft drinks. After something to eat, we go to the new room. I have found that very few bargirls will attempt to negotiate their compensation with you prior to leaving the bar, and I suspect this is because they are scared to frighten you off if they ask what you consider is too much. Such is the circumstances these girls find themselves in, I figure a lot of them take the view if they only get 500 baht that is 500 more than they would get if they don’t get a customer. Regarding the question of remuneration, I always give the girl her money as soon as she is in my room. I feel if she thinks the rewards are inadequate, that is the time to say so. So far I have never had any complaints, but I can imagine how bad a girl may feel when she makes great efforts, only to discover that her client is the epitome of Cheap Charlie.

So we are in the room, and I give Da money for services to be rendered. She goes to the bathroom to have a shower, and I am going to do the same after her. The only problem is that I have been drinking for several hours, and before I know it, I am waking up fully clothed on the bed, wondering why the window has moved to the other side of the bed, before I recall that I am in a different room and why.

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I have yet to see how good this girl looks without clothes, so I lift the covers to take a look at her, though she has a small body, she looks great from behind with a beautiful small bum. This has woken her, and she turns round to face me. She is instantly awake, even though she has only slept four hours, she is not grouchy. I see the view from the front. She is perfectly proportioned, the only blemish being she has a scar that runs from below and around one side of her navel all the way to her sternum. I later discover this is as the result of a childhood accident.

I tell Da that I need to go to my room to see if the girl is still there. To be honest, I have not ruled out the prospect of retribution from her, though she does not know about Da. We go to reception to hand in the key and get the key for the other room. I go in the room, and everything is in order, and Miss Udon Thani has left only a note apologising to me.

Now we need to do some shopping for the trip. I take her to Mike’s on Beach Road. She makes straight for the luggage display and picks out a pink trolley suitcase which has a 5,000 THB price tag. I am getting ready to tell her to choose something cheaper, but before I do, she says “Too much”.

I then try to buy her a “Come and get me” dress. When she sees the price, she complains it is too much again. She then takes me to Second Road, and finds an almost identical suitcase for 2,200 THB. Then it’s off to a street market near Walking Street. I have given her 2,000 to spend. She then proceeds to buy tops, skirts and shoes, the bulk of which cost from 100 – 250 baht. I notice everyone she talks to, she asks how much, and then proceeds to haggle with them to negotiate 20 or 30 baht off. She is spending my money as if it were her own, and like it had to last her for the rest of the month.

The only thing about her shopping, is she doesn’t want me to watch when she is buying underwear, at which time she becomes incredibly shy. I recall another girl that stayed with me called Joy. I took her on several shopping trips, including one where I bought her a dress which was a very fine mesh you could see through. She loved this dress, but whenever we went to a bar together, she would put a cushion between her legs so nobody could see her underwear up her dress. As soon as she stood up, the underwear was quite visible. Priceless!

Eventually, she has spent nearly 1,600 baht, including a pair of shoes. She gives me the change and we go back to the hotel, where she proceeds to try everything on, including the underwear. She is a sight to behold as she walks around the room half–dressed. A thing of beauty. All the time, I keep feeling this warm glow just being with her.

We go back to the bar to see Lek, and for me to pay the next barfine. She tells Lek in English for my amusement, “I bring him back to my hotel room for sex and all he does is sleep”! Yes, including all her other assets, she is funny too.

Back to the room for a second night, I go to give her money, and she refuses, telling me that she has not spent the money I gave her yesterday. Is this girl for real? Actually, I am a bit uncomfortable with this. I know she will eventually go the way of her predecessors, and the last thing I want is the acrimony that will be produced if I fail to let her know this is purely business. She eventually accepts the money. I tell her if she likes, rather than giving her money every day, I will save it for her and she can ask me when she needs some. In theory, she will have a thick pile of notes when she leaves, because she spends nothing.

Then it’s off to Chiang Mai. We had a week there, and it was like being on honeymoon. When we visited the night markets, even though most articles had prices on, she still haggled over everything she bought. We stayed at the Amora Hotel thanks to a great deal from Agoda, and enjoyed four star quality for less than the price of a B&B in Dublin.

After watching the England-Slovenia game, I have over-celebrated. As we go back to the hotel, there is a group of ladyboys standing just outside. Da tells me not to talk to them. As we approach the hotel, I am smoking so I ask her to collect the key while I finish my cigarette. Pleased with the football result and having had far too much to drink, I get careless and fall down the steps of the hotel. I have twisted my ankle and knee, and though I am in pain and drunk, I am desperately trying to get to my feet before she misses me for fear that she thinks I am trying to pull a ladyboy. She comes out of the hotel just in time to see me getting to my feet.

I explain to her I was worried she might think I was trying to pick up a ladyboy, and though I am grimacing in pain, she laughs. “I not worry you go with ladyboy. I worry they pick your pocket”, she tells me. Somehow, I also manage to laugh through the pain.

Back to Pattaya, and we spend a great deal of time talking. One day, she is sitting on the bed completely naked, and her long black hair is covering her breasts. I tell her that if Paul Gauguin was here, he would want to paint her, as she looks almost Polynesian.

She asks me who is Paul Go Gun? I start to tell her, and then decide it is easier if I show her on the Internet, because I have a laptop in my room. She spends the next hour or so Googling and looking at Gauguin pictures. She is not impressed with his primitive style, but understands what I meant. “You not like beautiful pictures” she asks? I tell her about Renoir, my particular favourite, and immediately she wants to see pictures. I lay on the bed watching her from behind, as she spends another two hours Googling Renoir. The laptop is in front of a mirror, and every so often she looks into the mirror and smiles at me.

As I watch her, I think this is yet another reason why she makes me feel so good. Most 23 year old Thai girls can list their interests as Hip Hop, Hip Hop and Hip Hop, but this is a girl who is keen to learn about other things. After she has finished, she tells me how beautiful the paintings were.

Throughout our time together, I discover that like most Thai girls, she is a softie for a Teddy Bear. A couple of times, I take her to the Blues Factory on a Monday night, and on each occasion, she wins five teddy bears as prizes. On the first occasion, we go into a bar on Soi 8 where we meet a girl that we both know, who has recently had a baby with a Farang. I am going to suggest she gives one of the bears to the girl for her baby, and then think better of coming between a Thai girl and her Teddy. A few seconds later, she leans across and whispers to me, “Can I give Moo teddy for her baby”? Oh that lovely warm feeling that she gives me just keeps getting better all the time I am with her.

Throughout our time together, which lasts 26 days, she accumulates nearly twenty soft toys, some of which I bought because they were the biggest on the stall. One particular giant, was a monkey with a reddish brown fur. She and all the other girls who see it refer to King Kong, which as we all know is a black Gorilla. I tell her it is an Orang-utan. She has never heard of such an animal.

When we go back to the room, I find YouTube clips about them as an endangered species etc. She looks at every clip, not only has she never heard of one of these, she has never seen pictures of one either.

Another time, we are talking about music, and I tell her about Queen and Freddie Mercury, who for my money was a genius of pop and rock music. Again, she has heard of neither. I tell her about his death from AIDS. Back in the room, it is on to YouTube and she is searching out stories about his death.

On one occasion, she asks me “How you know all these things”? It occurs to me that the question is why doesn’t she know any of this? I know it sounds patronising, but I have been to Japan several times, and most Japanese will have heard of or know about all these things to some degree. This is clearly an intelligent girl with a quest for learning that would serve her greatly in the West where we value education, but in Thailand….?

When the time came for me to go home again, for the first time ever, I didn’t want to leave, or to be more accurate, I didn’t want to leave Da. She no longer works bar. I decided in Chiang Mai we might possibly have a future together and it is important to me to show her I can take care of her. I left her with sufficient money for her not to have to worry about this, and will be topping this up with periodic payments. I have also paid for an English Language improvers course for her.

The recent debate about “The Losers Paradise” has made me think about my own relationships, not so much because I care what people think about me, but because this girl makes me feel so different, and I know sooner or later, ignorant people will pass judgment on our relationship. One thing that occurred to me about Half-Chinese Girl's comments was she was not only castigating Western men, but in effect, also calling Thai women who have relationships with Farangs: Losers. If you think about it, who would want a loser other than another loser? Thinking about that, I have said a few times in this forum, how lucky am I not to be born Thai? I wonder if Half-Chinese girl will ever consider that point about herself.

As I was saying, I have recently thought about my own relationships since I met Da, and the only thing that makes me feel bad, is the age difference. I joke with her that when I am 100, she will be 65, but having looked through the recent debate, I’ve seen a couple of people who have fallen victim to the ignorant and misinformed regarding age differences.

As I think about Da, it occurs to me she is the same age as Half-Chinese Girl. I am inclined to believe there is no great difference in IQ between the two, but I will be very surprised if the latter has not heard of Gauguin, Renoir, Orang-utans and Freddie Mercury. Once you start thinking about this, you can come to many different conclusions, including the fact that Half-Chinese Girl can and does look down her nose at Farangs in Thailand, purely due to an accident of birth, in exactly the same way some Thai girls admire our apparent wealth due to their own unfortunate accident of birth.

My own experience is most of the girls I have met, have usually been abandoned after they have had a baby with their Thai boyfriend. In a country where there is no welfare state, and you have to pay for an education, many of these women realise that in order to break the cycle of poverty, they need to make sure that they educate the next generation.

I am led to believe that prostitution is rampant throughout Thailand, and that there are actually more women working in brothels servicing Thai men for 200 – 300 short time. Now I don’t claim to come to Thailand to do missionary work, but I think that whether the Farangs are there or not, there will be no end to prostitution in Thailand, but if that is the case, what would Half-Chinese Girl prefer to see: A girl who spends a couple of days with someone like me, and will leave with the equivalent of an average monthly Thai wage, or should she do short times for 200 baht at a time, servicing the local population?

I think many of us have recognised that a lot of Half-Chinese Girl's pronouncements are based on an idealistic and relatively privileged youth. I have this idea that she were to meet Da tomorrow, Da would defend me as a good man, while Half-Chinese Girl, would castigate me. Then ten years later, Half-Chinese Girl and Da meet again. She tells Da, that though she was sincere at the time, she now realises her judgments were a little immature. Da replies, “No. I should have listened to you when you told me what a loser that bastard was”.

Stickman's thoughts:

This girl seems to have really got under your skin! As I have said a number of times, the guy who has the best chance with these girls is the first farang she falls for. Wishing you her all the best – and do let us know how the track how / whether things develop.

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