Readers' Submissions

One Sided Utopia

  • Written by Steve
  • July 24th, 2010
  • 8 min read



The two articles from 23 July have the following themes:

"My life is wonderful, so obviously everyone else who is not happy needs to look at my life!"

"I hate MEN!"

First Article Response:
The first is the normal ignorant bliss you find with some people. The notion that if you do everything right or follow some simple step process your life can be so great. Well 10 years before when FarangDave was having issues, I am sure nothing said would have stopped his 6 month whore phase in Pattaya. You honestly think that the cure to happiness is whoring for 6 months with women half your age and then after marrying a Thai women, you can tell people how life is? What their problems are? That they should look in the mirror? Give me a break brother.

Some submissions hit the nail on the head when they say we do not know other people's situations and it is unfair to judge them based on your own experiences. If what makes you happy is whoring with bar girls then marrying one or a non-bar girl then that was your success, but you CAN NOT imply that is the cure for everyone. We do not know why some people do what they do. It is impossible to lump all people in the same category. We all go through different stresses in life and some people get out of it successful while others fail miserably.

Though I found your support for the western woman admirable, you again miss the point many of us are trying to make. It is not that all western women are bad or rotten. By no means is this ever the point. The point I try to make and I can not speak for others, but I will assume they agree, is that finding a needle in the haystack gets old. Yes there are wonderful women in America, but trying to find the right one after so many failures causes frustration. When we find out about other cultures, not just Thailand, though Thailand is this forum, we relish in the idea that we can meet and maybe marry someone that we can truly be happy with.


This does not mean I condone the shitty behavior of some expats here nor their delusions if that be the case. What I do support is the majority (because they are not sexpats) that came here for the same type of atmosphere I was looking for. A general feeling of well being around the ones you date without the added drama that comes in a majority of American relationships. Plus a majority of other things that need not be touched upon here.

If you want some facts about step fathers paying child support look at Washington State and Kansas State case law. It is open for the lawyers as well as the state to go after those ex's. Check out (http://www.rense.com/general51/chsup.htmrense.com) for some crazy statistics. Also, the amount of ex wives that have lied about the paternity of the child for more money then get caught, have nothing ever happen to them. We normally call that fraud, but hey it's a woman, so cut her some slack, right? And many states have kept the child support going after finding out the father is not the real father because the judge said he did not want to interrupt the child's well-being. Of course, the sympathizers will agree, but why does a lying, deceiving, fraudulent woman get off scott free? I know from first hand experience, when I lived in Washington state, I saw the paperwork from the court in Kitsap county going after these men. One of the women I knew was stand up, but had to go to court herself and fight to stop them from garnishing the wages of her ex for her child she had before him. The others, well they decided they needed money, so gave the go ahead, but said in the future when they were OK, they would try to stop it. YEAH RIGHT! And no, no adoption happened either.

I do not make up things when I write a submission and everything I write is either from first hand experience or research I have done. Just because you are not aware of something does not mean it does not exist. The old saying of "If a tree falls in a forest and you are not there, does it make a sound?" Do not be naive while living in your utopia!


From a brief on California child support laws: (http://www.childsupportlaws.ca/)

Stepchildren
This is another important topic, often overlooked by couples. To help clear things up, I have covered this in this chapter.

PAYING REQUIREMENTS
To the surprise of most people, stepparents may be required to pay child support for their stepchildren.
This can be true even if the child's biological father is already paying child support. In fact, it is not uncommon for the custodial payer to receive payments from more than one former spouse.

In stepparent cases, courts are given the discretion to decide how much child support should be paid. One commonly applied “rule of thumb” is to calculate how much the stepparent would be required to pay under the Child Support Guidelines, then deduct from that the amount of child support that the biological parent is paying.
If the biological parent is not paying anything (for instance, the biological parent is unemployed, ill or cannot be located), then the stepparent may be on the hook for the full table amount of child support.

A stepparent, then, may be required to pay any amount ranging from a token top-up amount to the full amount called for by the Child Support Guidelines.

DECIDING FACTORS
The test to determine whether a stepparent must pay child support is whether the stepparent has “stood in the place of a parent for the child” or as lawyers often like to say “in loco parentis.” Generally, if you’ve lived with the children for any substantial amount of time, you’re going to be on the hook for child support. However, if your had a more transient relationship, then you may not need to pay child support.

Even if your relationship with the stepchildren is strained, has broken off, or was never very strong, or even if it was the reason for you breaking up with your partner, you may well be found to have acted in loco parentis to the children. This is particularly so if you financially support the children beforehand, even in an indirect way such as making the mortgage payments.

TWO FATHERS
An interesting question asked is if a child can receive child support from two fathers? Yes, provincial legislation and the federal Child Support Guidelines allow for support to be paid by more than one parent, usually a biological parent and a step-parent. However, support may be ordered for two step-parents as well.
There is no need for the payer to be of the opposite sex, either.

Second Article Response:
Oh BKK Blue! You are a very distraught woman. I am truly sorry you can only see things through such a hatred perspective. Your story rings of such a one sided point of view. Blame the man for everything because the woman does no wrong. Now you are mind-fucked in your life because of it. Give me a break. I will definitely not give you some Dali-Lama speech and say life is not fair because you already know this and it is the exact reason why you wrote it.

For every man that cheats, I can probably give you 5 women that cheat. Women keep secrets better than men, so we can never know the truth when it comes to women. Let me tell you some things about your beloved gender. Go to any military base, but I will use Navy bases as my example because I am so familiar with those. The best time for a single man to get laid was when a ship left port. You would not believe how many women kiss their beloved husbands on the pier goodbye and not 2 hours later are in the nearest bar looking for a 'fuck' or a 'temporary relationship'. It is mind boggling to say the least. I have known so many women that have the loyalty of an amnesia patient that it is nice to find ones that have that simple trait: loyalty! I can give you 100's of examples of the shittiest women I have seen in my life. That is the beauty of getting older, you see how life really is and eventually realize you are a small cog in the big machine.

Now that does not mean I jump aboard the he-man woman haters club because some women are bad out there. You move on and keep looking. You want to hate men because you only point out the bad things you have seen them do? Has any man done ever done anything in your life you found noble? Maybe they did just the normal good boyfriend / husband role, but that is not good enough for you. Your expectations that they have to be a certain way while defending all women on this planet is immature and irresponsible. A one sided emotional rant gets you nowhere!

Summary:
Both articles sadly only depicted men in a bad light and were not objective in nature. While there are some bad men out there, there are just as many bad women. We see things from our perspective of which I have written about before. The bottom line is to be objectionable. You can be frustrated, but to say "life is bliss if you do what I say" or "I am now a feminist" is so one sided that it bears almost no response nor debate. I would personally prefer a non-emotional rant from the western woman talking about her frustrations with life in Thailand and being objectionable about it. This is usually difficult for an angry woman, but it is possible.

The final point is if you are not happy where you live then GTFO! We leave the west and come to SE Asia. If you hate SE Asia and can go to the west then by all means go. It is your life and your choice, but try not to burn to many bridges on your way out!

Take care gang,
Steve

Stickman's thoughts:

Indeed, the sexes are equally guilty.