My Opinion On Mongers In Thailand: In Agreement With Young Half Chinese Girl
I thought I might chime in on the latest controversial topic on Stickman, that made by the half-Chinese girl.
I am a young man, 24. And have visited Thailand three times. I have a number of friends that live in Bangkok who study in Australia (both Thai and Farang). I have travelled with them around Thailand going to many more secluded places (for instance travelling along the Burmese border). In addition, I taught English in Buriram (Isaan) for over a month. I have also been to Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Singapore. I have a bit of insight (though by no means extensive) into Thailand due to having many friends from there, my experience in Isaan, and from having a Thai girlfriend in Australia.
I also should start out and say that yes I have slept with bar girls a few times. A few times they were freebies (picked up at Spicy in both Bangkok, and Chiang Mai). And on the other two occasions, I paid. I am not particularly proud of it, nor did I find it fulfilling. For me, a lot of the thrill of sex comes from knowing the other person lusts after you, and wants you. In a P2P situation this is non-existent. <Wrong, in *some* cases, girls DO lust after the guy – Stick> So for me personally, I find it unfulfilling and mostly unenjoyable. Most of my experience with Thai women came from meeting them at a Thai nightclub like RCA, or just talking to them at MBK and getting their number. Most of the Thai women I slept with were generally middle class or higher so, and at university.
I do not believe prostitution to be morally wrong, nor do I think it should be illegal. I do believe that if women in Thailand were given more social, educational and financial power then there would be less prostitution. I am however, against the exploitation of women and disrespectful treatment of women. I believe that with any relationship with a woman, you should leave her better than you found her. In the case of bar girls, this means treating them with respect, practicing safe sex, etc.
Now to the crux of this young lady’s argument.
I too agree that many mongers are delusional and the bottom of the rung when it comes to Western men. I do not believe that there is much to brag about when it comes to sleeping hookers. All you need is 1,000 baht (or more depending on the quality), and a working penis. Sleeping with many hookers does not make you a sex god, it just means that you have the money to sleep with a lot of hookers. From talking to some bar girls, there is the commonality that they hate their jobs, and dislike a lot of their customers, but that what they do is necessary to support themselves and their family.
I’m not sure if I agree that all men who use prostitutes in Asia are losers. Many wish to just try something different, or would like to meet a local woman, but don’t know where to go to meet one who isn’t a hooker. Also, some of the guys are handsome and socially adept, but enjoy sex a lot (who doesn’t?). There is however, a significant element of mongers who would have a lot of difficulty attracting women in the West. This may be due to their age, appearance, lack of social skills or poor attitudes towards women. I believe these men, for the most part, should be pitied rather than condemned. Though I do condemn those who treat the bargirls poorly, and who have misogynist attitudes to women.
A lot of Western men who come to Asia to find girlfriends or wives whom are prostitutes are often quite pathetic. They either don’t have the insight or believe in their own self- worth to think that they could do better. Nor do they realise that they will be taken for a ride. It is almost inevitable, and many testimonies on Stickman point to this. I agree that also many of these men simply want a woman who will not answer back, cook and clean for them, have sex whenever they want. They have limited interest in conversation and a deeper connection other than that.
The views presented of western women on this site are also quite disturbing, and I find many of them quite offensive. I live in Australia, and the vast majority of young Australian women are very warm. But yes, they do believe in equality. They do believe that they should not be burdened with demands of housework, and the like, and that they should have the same rights as men. And in my opinion they should. Many of the men who post on Stickman seem to have views of feminism and women that are based solidly in the 40’s and 50s. And for them, Thai women seem like a good solution, in that they are accommodating sexually and domestically. But I believe that for the most part Western women give a lot more intellectual stimulation, have a lot more in shared values, and provide better long term company than Thai women do. Having had Thai flings and a Thai girlfriend (who was lovely and caring), none have ever seemed interested in discussing anything intellectual, or seem to have much intuitive of their own when it comes to what to do. They are simply too submissive for my liking.
Finally, coming down to the general consensus of sex tourists in Thailand, yes, you are looked down upon, particularly by the backpackers (which was mostly whom I associated with). You are seen as exploiting vulnerable women. You are also seen as socially inept and sexually deviant. I am a bit more compassionate towards mongers than the average traveller, but I still share these views to an extent. I also think it is sad that you have the opportunity to go an exotic and beautiful country like Thailand, yet you spend all your time balls deep in some hooker, and only ever seem to visit, Nana, Soi cowboy and Pattaya. There is a lot more to Thailand than the nightlife. And if you are there primarily to meet women, why not try and meet some women whom are not prostitutes. There are so many in Thailand. MBK and nightclubs like RCA are filled with gorgeous women, whom are very approachable, and often a lot better educated and better conversationalists than the bar girls are.
On one last note. I can share experiences of mongers being very inappropriate to young Asian women who are not hookers. The first time I went to Thailand I spent a week with my then girlfriend who was Singaporean. She was propositioned on the street several times, groped, and asked ‘how much’. When I left her alone to go to the toilet or to buy something from 7 Eleven. She didn’t look like a hooker (just dresses normally), though she was confused as Thai by many Thais as she is a bit darker than most Chinese.
In this sense, many mongers need to learn some tact, and respect for the average Thai woman on the street. And for the bar girls too, as I was witness to some very disrespectful behaviour towards them by Westerners also. I think the young Asian lady made some very good points. And that some mongers need to reassess their behaviour and attitudes.
I think the big difference between sex tourists and backpackers is that while backpackers revel in complaining about sex tourists, sex tourists could not give a hoot about what backpackers are up to, notwithstanding that there is much about their behaviour that sex tourists could legitimately point the finger at…