Ms. HCG: Farangs Can Dish It Out But Can’t Take It
Boy, this little girl really ruffled some feathers. Sensitive, these Stickmanites. I wanted to refrain from entering this fray regarding the half-Chinese girl (here forward referred to as Ms. HCG). But since some dufus mentioned my name (hello Steve), well, I felt like I had to put in my two cents. Besides, someone has to come to her defense. I hate to see a bunch of middle-aged guys beating up on a poor, defenseless girl.
You can say she was being judgmental. Or harsh. A bit raw, even. What you can’t say is that she wasn’t being honest. She’s giving you her true opinions. And you know what? It should be apparent to all you mongers out there that she speaks for a whole lot of folks. Most NORMAL folks. Let’s face it, most men do not pay for prostitutes (and if they did, certainly wouldn’t brag about it or flaunt it—more on that later). Most people would find this idea revolting. And I’m talking about western folks. Normal western folks, i.e., the majority of farangs. Oh sure, you can say that a normal farang guy is simply a monger-in-waiting. But in reality—whether it’s due to circumstance, religion, culture, values, or whatever—most men do not buy prostitutes. You can talk about how marriage and dating is basically paying for sex, but c’mon, you know what I mean.
Well I hope Ms. HCG isn’t taking this personal. It seems to me that the readership is letting out all of their collective contempt for western women (or pretty much anyone who would criticize their mongering ways) on this one poor girl who just happens to be…basically, calling a spade a spade. I don’t know if they think that they’re going to change this girl’s mind with this cruel, vulgar, and often times, vicious attacks. Or are they just trying to prevent others like her from speaking their minds? Or are they just venting, letting her know “how upset they are” that…well, I’m not sure exactly? Ahhh, they’re offended that she thinks they’re all losers, when in fact, they’re convinced that they really are not. Or something like that. Taking things pretty personal, these guys. I know one thing for sure: they haven’t changed Ms. HCG’s opinion. If anything, they’ve probably reinforced it.
I think this uproar over Ms. HCG’s piece supports Mr. Stick’s comments a while back about how the farangs in Thailand need to “believe in the illusion.” Any time anyone brings up something that may threaten this illusion, it does more than just ruin their day, it shatters their image of what they thought reality was. Much like my piece did, Ms. HCG revealed a little too much of the truth. Her piece revealed what I think many already knew but refused to accept—that those outside the monger universe really find their kind repulsive. Is this a surprise? Do you really believe that farang women just accept this sort of behavior as “boys being boys?” Now who’s being naïve, really? Ms. HCG is just articulating what, many, MANY, are thinking. Surely you know this.
Having said all this, I don’t necessarily agree with everything that Ms. HCG said. “Thai girls are actually pretty ugly.” Of course I disagree with this 100%. I can’t believe she really means this. Or is she talking only about Thai gals she’s seen with farangs? That may explain it. Thai girls in Thailand are so incredibly diverse, that you can’t possibly pin a certain “look” on all Thai women. Some look Chinese. Some more Japanese or Korean (but certainly with better teeth than a typical Japanese gal). Some look Filipino or Hispanic. Many can pass for Vietnamese. Singaporean? They’re just Chinese girls. I know when I was in America, I couldn’t tell the difference between a Thai girl or some other Asian girl. If you were to gather 20 Asian women in a room, there’s not one man who could pick out the correct nationality of all 20. I couldn’t do it. And comparing Thai women to white, black, or brown women? Forget about it. Purely subjective. I happen to be particularly fond of Thai women, as a group.
And the comment about “(having) a fling with an ex-model who slept with fifty new and different women one year,” geez, how could I defend something like that? She’s bragging about getting laid with some guy who just sees her as a piece of meat, just another notch on his belt? I didn’t quite get that one.
But overall, I understand her basic premise. It’s not really about farang guys buying prostitutes, necessarily. It’s more about flaunting it, believing the illusion, e.g., farang men are God because poor peasant girls “allegedly” worships them, blaming Thai women when things don’t pan out, justifying their behavior with how bad farang women are, actually boasting about being able to buy a hooker, superiority complex over Thai men, etc., etc. Her comments ring true: “What bothers me about Stickman is all the self-aggrandisement: 'I paid for sex with a 22 year old Thai girl tonight – look, I'm a sex god, look I'm not a loser anymore'; 'I will convince you that my Isaan girl is beautiful, because I need you all to agree, so that you agree that I'm a sex god, look I'm not a loser anymore.” Isn’t that pretty much what a lot of farang guys in Thailand do, consciously or not? And also: “The sex is fine, no judgment, whatever makes you happy. It's the delusion I can't stand.” These comments I tend to agree with. There are, in fact, a lot of delusional farangs in Thailand.
Regarding her specific contentions, I offer the following. Delusion 1: the Sex Paradise issue. While I understand her point, I concede that she may be out of her element here. Men and women see sex and love in completely different ways. Obviously, Thailand would not be a “sex paradise” for women. I don’t know any place on this planet that would be, speaking in the context of men’s preferences. On the contrary—women who desire no-strings-attached sex (assuming said woman is not a complete zero) can pretty much find it anywhere, any time. It’s a whole different ballgame. So her contention that the west can be a sex paradise for guys is misleading. Only if you’re a super stud, filthy rich, or a rock star, can it truly be a sex paradise. The average farang can pretend to be a rock star in Pattaya. The problem is when he starts believing that he is one—which I think is her primary point, and one in which she is absolutely correct—then yes, we have created a monster. And this monster goes around Thailand (and beyond) thinking that every Thai girl adores him. Hideous!
As for Delusion #3, that Thai culture is more sexually permissive than the west, I would agree with Ms. HCG 100%. Yes, Mr. Stick, some university students do “shag like rabbits,” and some do so for money, yada yada yada. But the Thai culture overall is still very much conservative towards sex, relative to the west. Good/successful Thai men (and their families) still consider a women’s sexual history when considering her for marriage. Some Thai women still prefer to save their virginity until marriage. That all may be changing slowly, but it’s certainly not at the level of the west. This may appear to be a contradiction when you consider the sex industry at large. But it’s really not—which is why women in that industry are looked down upon by mainstream Thai’s because good Thai girls simply do not do such things.
I think part of Ms. HCG’s anger is the fact that she has dealt with the “collateral damage” as a result of Thailand’s reputation. What does that mean, you ask? Farangs married to Thais have had to deal with this, I’m sure. Your wife may never have stepped foot in a bar. You may never have stepped foot in a bar. Nevertheless, there are folks out there, inside and outside of Thailand, who would assume that the farang met his Thai wife in a bar, she the bargirl, he the customer. How about Ms. HCG? Being the recipient of unwanted sexual advances from lowlifes might be one. An unkept farang in his 50’s would never consider approaching a young farang female hottie because he knows he’s got no chance. Doesn’t matter if she’s a supermodel or a McDonald’s cashier. Yet, said guy would approach a young Thai female. And why? Well, he’s obviously been to too many bars and thinks that all Thai girls worship farangs. I’m sure Ms. HCG’s response to the advance would be exactly the same as a farang girl in similar circumstances, but the farang girl wouldn’t have to deal with it as much—if at all. Life is so unfair.
So yes, Ms. HCG is angry, and she’s going to speak her mind. The thing is, these guys who are so appalled and offended by Ms. HCG’s comments—these are essentially the same guys who would have no problem insulting farang women or Thai men with the same sort of generalizations. In other words, they can dish it out, but they can’t take it. It’s such a rare thing to have someone of a different mindset writing on Mr. Stick, someone who doesn’t accept the party-line. Isn’t this what you should be encouraging, Mr. Stick, instead of the same, tired drivel?
To comment on your final point first, I sure was pleased to receive the half-Chinese girl's submission but I stand by my comments to her submission – while I agree with the premise of what she said – that guys who think they're big shots because they sleep with lots of hookers are sad, I think she may have been better off keeping her submission to that single point.
It was some of the other stuff where she bothered me, such as talking down the physical beauty of Thai women – whom I think, physically, are a lot better than what you find in many Western countries and certainly than what you find in my country.
For sure, there's no doubt that what she said, and what you agree with is true – that mainstream Western society don't look fondly upon sex tourism. But then, in fairness, these people seem to have a twisted picture of what it involves and in the case of some sectors of Western society, it is they who have contributed to pushing guys outside their homelands looking for sex in the first place!