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I’m a Sex God

  • Written by Mega
  • July 20th, 2010
  • 6 min read



Crikey these Thai birds are bloody little beauties. They all bang like rabbits and they’re just dying to get it on with us white blokes. Me mates convinced me to make the trip over here and I’ve finally realized why they’re so hooked on the place; the birds here love us. Every time I step out of the Nana Hotel there’s a bevy of these lovelies telling me I’m sexy and handsome. I’ve got a bit of a gut, cause I like a beer, but it doesn’t seem to bother these randy little buggers. Fair suck of the sav I reckon this is the best place on the planet. I’m going back to sell up and move over here permanently because the birds here know how to look after a bloke. Funny thing is I was a little bit apprehensive when I first got here. I’d tried cracking onto one on the flight over and she gave me the cold shoulder. Cute little thing she was and all. Probably in her early twenties but didn’t seem as keen as the little vixens that are hanging around in the car park outside the hotel. Admittedly I’d had a few, and I hadn’t had time for a shower before jumping in the cab to the airport, but I’d been fairly polite when I’d put my arm around her and asked if she was up for a bit of horizontal folk dancing once we arrived in Bangers.

No doubt that’s going to put the cat among the pigeons with the Jayson’s and the HCG’s of the world. But, you know what, at the end of the day does anyone that really matters, here in Asia, give a rat's backside about the ways in which foreigners care to entertain themselves in the red light districts of Asia? No, of course not. It doesn’t even register on their interest metres. You see the Asian guys that are the big players in the league of life here – the ones with money – are too busy doing same bloody thing themselves.

What the Jayson’s and HCG’s really don’t like us poor old farangs to know is that the rich Thai guys, hell any rich Asian guys for that matter, usually have a number of minor wives, or giks, in tow. It’s a status thing of course (the Chinese are big on this) and the consideration that they may be offending someone doesn’t even come into the equation. They’re cashed up; they’ve got the power; they’ll live as they please and fuck who they like thank you very much. If anyone’s got any doubts about this I suggest they wander down to Rachada on a Friday, or Saturday, night and check out some of the G-Clubs. What you’ll see is bars full of well to do Thai men eying off some very hot coyote style dancers as they strut their stuff on the dance platforms. And that, once again, is not a delusion (or illusion). Hypocrisy reigns supreme, does it not Jason?

My point is that that when you’ve got money, in Asia, you can pretty much do as you like and nobody gives a fuck what you get up to (as long as you’re not breaking the law). So what is it that the Jason types, and twenty three year old Chinese girls, are driveling on about in regards to the so called NORMAL population being affronted by the activities of farang sex tourists/whoremongers here in Thailand? What is it that’s got them so affronted by the activities of a bunch of guys who are basically just enjoying themselves and not really doing anyone any harm? I mean if you feel so strongly about this perhaps you could apply the same amount of zeal, and energy, denouncing catholic pedophile priests (something far more evil). No, I guess not aye. A soft target like farang sex tourists is far easier to put the boot into without the possibility of any serious attention being focused on yourselves.

If you try to apply the same type of labeling/generalized view to rich Thais/Asians, who indulge in the same activities as the good old farang sex tourist, they’ll laugh in your face and, no doubt, wonder what the fuck you are on about. You see, as the Thais will tell you, don’t worry about it because we’re just having a bit of fun and, unless one is foolish enough to marry hooker, it don’t amount to a hill of beans. I mean who, apart from the fun police (Jason & HCG types) really gives a fuck what farangs get up to down at Soi Cowboy?

People with money don’t give a shit about the insignificant activities of a bunch of white boys getting their rocks off here in Asia. Does anyone really believe that the Thai middle class, and Hi So’s, are overly concerned about the whore-mongering activities of farang here in Thailand? If anything the wives, and girlfriends, of those middle class and Hi So groupings are more concerned about the extra curricular/nocturnal activities of their own men. That again is not an illusion, or delusion. Fact; cashed up Asian men put it about just like the white boys do.

Am I a whoremonger? Probably. Am I a loser in life because I indulge in whore-mongering activities here in the LOS? No. You see – and as many a cashed up expat, or Asian, whoremonger will tell you – what we do to entertain ourselves, in our free time, has fuck all to do with our abilities to carry out our chosen professions. Work is work and play is play. It’s only the milksops like the Jayson types, and our twenty three year old Chinese gal, who have trouble distinguishing the lines between the two. Sorry to burst your little bubbles of comfortable ignorance but there are a lot of us here in the LOS who’ve probably done better for ourselves, by living in Asia, than if we had of gone down the road of the domesticated, PC oriented, over taxed subservience of the western world.

In the egalitarian world of the educated elite everyone should have read Proust, and Joyce, and we should aspire to have double degrees with a bunch of letters after our names. We could then think the same way as the Jayson’s and HCG’s of the world. We’d be on a superior moral vantage point from which we could look down, and pass judgment, on the still remaining masses of the unwashed. Fat, old men having sex with young Isarn rice farmer’s daughters? Absolutely disgusting; there should be a law against it old chap. I mean who gave them the right to have a bit of fun? Absolutely old boy; I’m off to read some Proust.

If I may; a bit of advice to HCG. Next time a drunk tries to come onto you (I understand your distress regarding this because I hate drunks as well) deal with it on the spot instead of letting it build up as some kind of skewed resentment against all middle aged white men that come to Thailand. Tell the offender to rack off or give him a swift kick to the gonads. Better to do that than come onto a website, which you know is the primary domain of the type of guy that you seem to have a rather unfairly hostile attitude towards, and start writing us off as losers because you failed to deal with the situation in front of you.

Stickman's thoughts:

I guess I must be a moron too because not only have I not read Proust or Joyce, I had never heard of them until 23 year old China girl brought them up.