Readers' Submissions

Bitterness And Delusions

  • Written by Steve
  • July 3rd, 2010
  • 9 min read

Delusions:

1) Because I am a Farang in Thailand, I can have any woman here!

2) I make more money than the local Thai men therefore all women should want me!

3) I see old, fat, bald Farang with young women therefore I should be entitled to the same!

4) Because I have money, I expect loyalty and devotion, though I am not loyal or devoted!

5) Though I frequently have sex with bargirls, I want the hot young innocent Thai woman to want me and forgive my past transgressions!

6) I am Farang therefore I do not need to conform to the new country I am living in because I am smarter and know more than the locals!

7) I am here to rescue the poor and impoverished Thai woman!

8) I have specific requirements: She be young, beautiful, no stretch marks and wants to fuck like a porn star even though I am old, fat and just a drunk!

9) I read the Stickman website and now I know everything there is to know about Thailand!

This is just an example of thousands of different delusions many Farang have when coming to visit/live in the LoS. When any of the above or any other example fails, the Farang becomes bitter. Bitterness causes so many unwanted feelings amongst the different Farang groups that can result in depression, revenge, hatred, etc. We come to Thailand with an illusion (which generally is a delusion) of what our new life will be and when reality sets in, no one seems to wise up. This is a generalization of course, but many fall in this trap.

I said before in a submission, that when a Farang leaves his homeland to visit the LoS, he seems to leave all common sense and logic in his home country and does not want to follow any of the rules of life he already knows. Do we really lose our common sense to our cock? Do we honestly forget all the education and wisdom of life we have attained to this point? Do we truly believe we can change the bargirl we are going to marry? Do we truly think we can show them our honesty and get the same in return? Do we really think cross-cultural differences are no big deal? Are we so naive that we believe everything someone tells us here?

I listen to and read so many stories about dissatisfaction of a person's time in Thailand, but underneath the story I can see all the delusions of grandeur these people had. It truly amazes me the direction these people take. When you ask a simple question like, "Would you do this in your own country?" and the response is "Hell no!", I always follow with, "Why the hell would you think it is OK to do here?" Of course, the responses are generally the same, "Oh, I thought I could!" or "This is Thailand!" or some ridiculous answer that says basically the same thing.

Since I am from the US, I will use US examples. How many of you can just go to Beverly Hills and date the multi-millionaire women that live there? Yet you come to Thailand and think all of a sudden the hi-so women should be available to you. When you find you can not reach these women you throw a tantrum like a 2-year old and complain that Thailand sucks! How many of you can walk into any bar in the US and find that all the women want you? Yet when you come here you think just that!

I have many female Thai friends. So, recently I asked a few questions to find out why the do or do not date Farang men. I will separate it into two categories for simplicity. The ones that do and the ones that do not.

"Why do you only date Farang?"

1) "Because they do not cheat like Thai men."

2) "Because I want a better life."

3) "Because I want to travel."

4) "Sex is better with a Farang."

5) "Because the do not beat their wives."

6) "Because they treat me better."

7) "Because they have money."

8) "Because I need to take care of my parents and Thai men can not help."

9) "Because I want to have beautiful children."

10) "I am tired of being poor."

11) "I do not want to have to work."

12) "Because I want to live in another country."

13) "Because it is easier when we hang out with friends, since they do not speak Thai."

14) "Because they are not lazy like Thai men."

15) "Because when he dies, I will get money."

I have many more, but the above list was the most common. If you read into it further, you can see there is no one statement that has an underlying tone of: I want to have a truly loving relationship and experience what it is like to have love in my life. Now this does not mean us Farang can not find a real relationship here, but remember we are in a different culture and how they see love and how we see it come from two totally different view points.

"Why do you not date Farang men?"

1) "Because they smell bad."

2) "Because they like bargirls."

3) "Because they want sex too much."

4) "Because I want to stay in Thailand."

5) "Because they are too loud."

6) "Because the only attractive ones are tourists."

7) "Because they look down on Thai people."

8) "Because they do not understand Thai culture."

9) "Because they think there money can buy me."

10) "Because once they leave me, I would lose too much face with my family."

With both example sets above, some are truly laughable. It does show the stereotypes they have about us. If we flip the coin, we can see that they are also delusional in many of their beliefs. For any example listed above, I can show people that do not fall into those stereotypes. The bottom line is people believe what they want to believe until something comes in their life to change that belief.

I have always said that not everyone I meet I like and not everyone that meets me likes me. That is OK. I am not here to please everyone and I know that they are not here to please me. This is life.

If you want to have a relationship with a normal Thai woman, then you have to work at it. You can not jump from bargirls to a normal Thai woman and think that your past will not affect your relationship. You can not just get off the plane and think all of Thailand is yours to dominate. If statistics tell you that your marriage to a bargirl will most likely fail, why go against that and think you know better and when it fails become bitter and hateful. If Thai bargirls make up less than 1% of the women in Thailand, why not try to find some of the other 99% and work at a real relationship?

If a Thai woman goes to San Diego, CA, does she think she can have any man she sees there? If she goes to the beach, can she compete with the 5'7 to 5'9 hotties with the blonde hair, big tits and super tight athletic bodies? Absolutely not. This does not mean she can not find people to date, but she can not be with anyone she wants. Same applies here in Thailand. You can not have anyone you want. Some women just do not want a Farang man. Some women just may not want you! Swallow your pride and move along to the next. Thailand is one of the most accepting cultures I have found, but all of their women are not available to foreigners. This is true of any culture. Again I must say, why does common sense get thrown out when you land at BKK airport? It is as if the person goes to the money changer and changes dollars and common sense to Thai baht and delusions of grandeur!

We men have faced rejection our whole lives in our home country, but yet when we come here, if we get rejected once we feel like the world is going to end. On a comical note, I still love rejecting Farang women and giving them my dissertation on why Farang women are not for me. All women hate being rejected, but nothing better than giving that hottie Farang a taste of her own medicine. This is why not many young Farang women last here in Thailand. It is a shallow thing, but reality sucks for them here like it has for so many years in our own country for us. The point is, you may get rejected. Who gives a rat's ass? Move on. Many of the successful relationships I have seen here took time. Again common sense. You weed out the bad ones over time and find the good ones. Yet so many Farang still come here, spend no time with their teerak and then get married only to find out what a mistake that was later.

There is no way to figure exactly why all these people do what they do. Different backgrounds cause different outcomes. This is true with both Thai and Farang. We can not assume to know the true nature behind people and we can only hope that the choices we make are the right ones. If it fails we should learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them. The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

One man I know told me once, "I keep dating bargirls and I keep having nothing but problems with them!" Umm…Stupid comes to mind!

One last note: If any of the above applies to you then it's time to wake-the-fuck-up! Do not be delusional when you come to Thailand! Thailand has so much to offer, but you still need to apply common sense. Do not think you can do whatever you want here and your actions not have consequences. Any real relationship takes time and if you do not have the time, then quit fooling yourself that it is going to work for you. Do not meet a woman, go back to your country and send her money hoping that she will wait for you. You would not do this in your own country, yet you do it here. Lastly, use your wisdom and common sense and apply it here in the LoS and you will mostly likely not leave as a bittered, disgruntled Farang!

Take care gang,
Steve

Stickman's thoughts:

Lots of common sense.