Readers' Submissions

Hatred: It’s The Only Thing That Lasts


It did seem a bit too close to hatred didn’t it? At best: intolerance. Caveman’s piece on Ladyboy Denial Syndrome certainly generates a lot more heat than light.

There have already been two good responses, including one by the prolific Korski, but I just wanted to add some comments of my own relating to ladyboys and those FREAKS who have sex with ladyboys.

I’m surprised actually to see so few topics about ladyboys on a Thai-centric website. I suppose it is simply taboo, which I’ll get into in a little bit.

As has already been noted, ladyboys are referred to and treated as women largely out of politeness. There are other reasons too of course. Naturally the men who hang out with and have sex with ladyboys know they are not really women, it’s just playing the game, suspending disbelief. Why do that you ask?

Well that is the question.

I have spent a bit of time with ladyboys and generally speaking they feel like a girl to be with. One transsexual I was with described it thus “It’s a chick with a dick…it’s a living illusion”. I thought that was a very seductive and apt phrase, going some way towards describing the appeal of these creatures. The deception is consensual.

“(a man who has sex with ladyboys) This particular fetish, of course in my opinion, breaks any boundaries of social acceptability.”

Of course it does. That is precisely what makes it appealing.

It is exploration of a taboo, a brief acquaintance with debauchery.

One aside: I lived for a year in Kings Cross, Sydney, while at college. There used to be a very tall trannie who could be seen around the Cross at all hours. She must have been 6’6” or thereabouts..freakin’ huge. I was only 18 or so and at the time I found her obvious gender disparity quite amusing. One morning she was discussing terms with a client at his car window, and I had half a mind to go over and ‘reveal the truth’ to him. Hahaha….as if he didn’t know(!)…Shows you how green I was. Of course it was exactly what he was looking for.

The point is you may find trannies repulsive at this moment in time. Don’t assume this will always be the case. The one constant in life is change.

I don’t care to go into excessive detail about my sexual preferences in a public forum but suffice it to say that in theory a ladyboy might in fact offer various more sexual options than a female. Also, the anus is well known to be a highly erogenous zone in men especially. (Most non prudish people will freely admit that taking a dump can be quite pleasurable. Broadly speaking that’s some type of anal pleasure, though not specifically sexual). As far as sex is concerned, some anal play in the bedroom (with the male as recipient) is not that uncommon these days I believe. If your girlfriend fingers your arse, are you suddenly gay? What about using a strap on..etc? Technically any sexual act that isn’t specifically reproductive could probably be classed (to some degree) as deviant (if one were so inclined), even plain old oral sex.

Anyhow…ladyboys know the ‘equipment’ better than a woman since they too own it, as well as having the libido of a man. Add in someone who’s comfortable with anal eroticism, do the math. It follows that if one's primary goal was sustained sexual ecstasy a ladyboy would almost certainly be a better option than any woman. Ladyboy admirers might then be posited as sexual realists/bargainers seeking maximum bang for buck (ahem)..sexual connoisseurs perhaps? All this is merely in theory, of course. Not wanting to incriminate myself, you understand. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

NB. I realize a good portion of the readers have probably dismissed me by now as a sexual deviant. To which I plead: no contest.

Is it deviant? Probably it is. I have one parting shot though: if you’ve never tried it, how do you know you wouldn’t like it?

There are of course countless discussions on the internet about trannies and the men who go with them. One recurring theme is that gay men don’t in fact go with ladyboys/trannies. Gay men are completely comfortable with romantic and sexual liaisons with men, thanks very much. They think trannies are a bit of a joke, to be honest, just like Caveman does.

It seems reasonable then to have some other word for trans preference. And this is not out of a desire to ‘not be gay’, merely acknowledging an important difference.

Let me state I think it’s absurd for someone who sleeps with transsexuals to claim 100% heterosexuality or deny some degree of bisexuality/gayness. Nevertheless you will find most of these guys have no romantic or even sexual interest in normal men. (There are always some exceptions of course).

Anyway, as Caveman’s piece so aptly demonstrates, transsexuals or trans preference is a lot more upsetting to many than mere gayness. I am not sure why this is so. Perhaps further submissions will shed more light.

Don’t you consider yourself to be outside of what can be considered as a “normal human”?”

Yes, Ladyboys and sex with ladyboys aren’t ‘normal’. Is it a big deal though? What is normal anyway? etc. (yawn).

If we’re saying they’re not ‘normal’ in a pejorative or disturbed sense..surely it would be far more useful to direct the ‘outside of a normal human’ stuff to deviancy that has a major detrimental effect in society? Eg. Child molestation, that’s something where the person has arguably become less than human in my view, and the effects echo for generations. Transsexuals aren’t even close to that level of pathology. I mean Caveman doesn’t know why the hell there are so many ladyboys in Thailand…because no-one does..Are they just mummy’s boys with no strong male role models? Is Thai/Buddhist culture too non-confrontational about their lifestyle choice? Is it testosterone imbalance in the brain/womb..? I mean no-one really knows.

Let’s say Ladyboys are a subgroup of a subgroup, but the deviancy (for want of a better term) is largely pretty harmless to others, I’d argue. They’re probably a financial drain on parents, etc, and probably making life harder for oneself than it otherwise would be with regard to employment opportunities, etc. But beyond stress on the family and limiting your opportunities (self inflicted) I don’t see it as something that causes major issues for others.

“Those who have sex with ladyboys, I would argue, in every single case, have other serious accompanying mental disturbances.”

Not that I am an expert on this, but my feeling on guys who sleep with ladyboys (at least in the west) are thus: quite a large percentage are married, have quite respectable and productive lives, and generally don’t at all equate with your description. Serious mental disturbances? You really need to back that up with at least some data to be taken at all seriously. No more than the average monger population I’d say. I think they just like some debauchery, and some non vanilla sex now and again. I also think they come from all walks of life, just like the general monger population.

The bad news for Caveman is this phenomenon isn’t going away anytime soon. It’s a growth market.

http://www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=36986

(Not that this is exhaustive stats or anything I admit.) There’s generations yet unborn who are gonna be hooked on internet porn. And eventually you graduate to a stronger kink. So I think the fascination with trannies is here to stay. A lot will never act on it of course. Personally I don’t think ‘not acting upon it’ changes things all that much, though I realize some won’t agree with that thinking.

Anyway, that’s about all from me. As everyone always says: life is short, go your own way, do what you enjoy without harming others, etc. (yawn).

And Caveman – I’ll shout you a drink if I see you in Cascades!

-Hugh G Rection

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

I thought you walked the tight rope really well! This is a top that gets many upset yet there was real balance to your comments.