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One Finger Pointing Outward, Three Pointing Inward – The Fuss Over Jayson’s Article

  • Written by Anonymous
  • May 4th, 2010
  • 9 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok


There was a wise working girl saying, if you point at another person, beware ! 'Coz you use one finger pointing to the other person but you never notice three of your fingers pointing back to you !

It just amused me to see some of the heated responses over this article and more interestingly from an Asian male who you feel is inferior to you from most aspects. And when he hit you with his viewpoint of how he see things from his own perspective, from his own culture bring up, you called him racist, elitist, xenophobic, a need for reality check etc. He must hit the right nerve ! If not, you will not be so upset about it. As the wise working girl said, you point one finger on another, you actually pointing at yourselves, three times over ! Grow up guys, admit it that you have severe inferiority complex that you have to find a target so that you can feel superior over others. If not, why then you have to fly thousands of miles over to this part of the world to find solace over things that you feel no longer there in your own country or society ?

I have read so many contributors to Stick website and even Stick himself, lamenting over how things have changed so much since you were here years ago. How the 'magic' somehow has becoming more of an illusion, superficial, how the people has less smiles nowadays and so on and so forth. And when you feel Thailand and its people changes (from what you experience the first time you were here), you think they are losers (this is targeted obviously on reader like BKKSiegel, not you Stick or others). Well reality check for you. It's called progress my man. And with it the society is changing along with it. Their value system has changed (for good or bad) and become similar to what you experience at home, in the West. People become more materialistic and they want more than what they have. They segregate themselves in classes which you abhored and felt disgusted. They just becoming more like you or what you experience at home that you need to escape from !

So you move your target, searching for the next paradise, in the form of another country who has yet to develop fully. Naturally, most are now looking at Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos to certain extent, Phillipines and even PRC or Indonesia. I am sorry to say this, your efforts to reach this illusive paradise will not last long. Soon enough these countries will change as they progress economically as what you experience here now in Thailand. Why I say this ? I experience the same in South Thailand (Haadyai, Danok, Betong, Sg Golok) as what you guys experience in farang dominated scenes in BKK, Pattaya, even Chiang Mai. Yes I am a Malaysian and my playground used to be those around towns near Thai-Malaysian border. I learned all this from a wise working girl from the South: one finger pointing outward, three always point back to yourself.

Another interesting quote from BKKSiegel which speaks volume on the need to feel superior over others (which reflects his inferiority complex). "Superior purchase power. Lets make no mistake. Thailand's GDP per capita is a joke. I can earn their annual average in a week! So is the PIs and Chinas as well as the whole rest of SEA and this will NOT change during our lifetimes and that of our children. Western males easily earn 10-20 times more than their Asian counterparts (except only Singapore, Korea and Japan). Money means freedom. Money means power." The world is changing my man and the world is round. 50 years ago, the West can brag about this (just like East used to think highly of themselves 1000 years ago and called others barbarians) but since then some part of Asia has become more advanced and more expensive even for you. It used to be none, then as you said, Singapore, Korea, Japan comes into picture. Soon you will see PRC, India be on top of the list as well. It's the same how the Hong Kong people used to refer to those people from mainland China (before China opens up the economy and before Hong Kong goes back to PRC from British rule). They called them 'ah chan' (the scruffy one). It's the ultimate insult to those from PRC. I used to work in Hong Kong and they despised me for referring them as Hong Kies but my friends have no qualm slapping a racist remark over a less fortunate human being or society and I warned them that it will always come around over what and how they treated others. Nowadays, they have to find work in mainland PRC to survive, having the boss they used to call 'ah chan'. Even the US nowadays cannot survive without PRC pumping in money to pick up the country debts. Everything is interconnected and ever changing, don't be surprised that one day you need to survive by being employed by an Asian company, having an Asian boss. What you despise and feel superior will comes back and hit you back three times over. And this advice goes the same to Asian people who thinks you are the centre of the world now. It will change and if you do not accept it and change with it, then you will forever feel the need to be superior to satisfy your own inferiority complex.

And you said money means freedom, it means power. Ironic isn't it ? You have to fly thousands of miles to this part of the world to find freedom and feel the 'power' ? Can't you find it in your home or country since you are earning in 1 week what these people here earned in a year and which you call 'a joke' ? You must be really 'poor', if you catch my drift ! By the way, that is exactly what the working girl asked me too ! I think she is as wise as Buddha !

Sorry Stick if I rant over BKKSiegel, Korski and the likes responses, and now to the point on Jayson's topic from another 'no good' Asian man perspective albeit different country and culture. You see Malaysia consists of people from 3 major cultures (Malays being the majority, Chinese and Indians) plus a small communities of indigenous people, Eurasians (those from Portuguese heritage) and a rather large immigrant communities (mostly Indonesian, Phillinos and now more and more underpriviledged PRC working ladies come on board). As diverse as we are, inter racial marriages are not common though slowly the society is opening up and status conscious but still it is not common. I would not delve into its political or religious influences but culturally, the sense of group, clans, race identity or whatnot are still strong. You can call it playing it safe, being boring whatever, but fact is fact. It all boils down to communication and how close you and your GF/spouse can identified with each other. Women in my country looks for qualities like other women in other culture are looking for ; an understanding, caring, selfless, stable soul mates, yes financial and social status do come in play in some but majority of them it is a nice to have list but not must have (yet – it will change). And being able to communicate and relate to each other is the crux of it all. I have female friends , though still minority, who are married to Westerners and they are happy 'coz they could relate with each other well. Either the male need to pick up the local language and spend more time to assimilate in local culture or the female has to be able to communicate in English and assimilate or familiar in Western culture. I think this is what Jayson is trying to point out.

How can you say you know Thai female when you can't even speak her language properly or understand the culture if you despise and look down on the culture itself or if you spend most of your time with a section of society (the bargirls) only and then slap a bias picture over the overall society and claim that you know it all ? Coming to Thailand or even Malaysia umpteen times over the course of 20, 30, 50 years, and you claim you know the people ? It's the same with me, I travelled to Europe often, studied in England and used to work in Munich and do I know and claim to be the expert of European people and women ?

Jayson is providing his perspective, from his own viewpoint, and from how he see, experience, and a tinge of cultural and upbringing biases. All of us has that, biases. It's nothing wrong, nor it's right. It's just as it is, a bias.

Do you see a cup half full or half empty ? Most of us will answer either one of them. Well a friend told me ….. don't you see the cup at all ?

Thai working ladies told me, Thai man no good, lazy, good for nothing, drinking, butterfly around. you believe that is what Thai man is all about. You go with your Thai working ladies back to home town and you see men really lazing around and good for nothing drunkard, you concluded that is what Thai man is all about. Come on folks ! You are seeing through the eye glass of a Thai working ladies who comes from a section of society that is unfortunately the norm to have the under privilege guys doing nothing. It is the same for Jayson, he need to realize that he could generalize 'normal' ladies from his own perspective or bias viewpoint as well. By the way, in Yunnan PRC, there is a tribe people where the women work and the men function is to provide them the sperm to pro-create. They don't get married there. The women will choose their mate and the mate will climb to the women room at night and leave before dawn. And the women can choose multiple partners. Its a culture there and it is the norm and it is acceptable to them. So this man is no good ?

" I know these kinds of things because I have asked these kinds of questions of scores of hookers in all the countries of Southeast Asia. The principal implication, and perhaps news to Jason, is that it is men from the West who know to make real love, and who have brought this knowledge to Southeast Asia, indeed much of the Third World (from all I have heard, it the Yanks who deserve credit for really introducing Thai women to a blowjob). This, of course, is one of the great unspoken gifts of Western colonialism and imperialism." Another perfect example of one's severe inferiority complex that need to impose one perceived superiority on others. Carnal yardstick as a measure of manhood is a thing of the past folks. We live in internet world now, its 21st century now. And yes you are hearing this from 'no good' Asian man.

Sorry for the banter Stick and other readers. As always, one finger pointing outward, remember three of them pointing back to yourself ! And this is a reminder for all even for me. And Jason, this is from a working lady that you think it's butt ugly. I think she's a Buddha.

Yours Truly
Another no good Asian man

Stickman's thoughts:

It's always good to get a different perspective from the typical reader profile.