Readers' Submissions

I Don’t Give a Rat’s Arse

  • Written by Anonymous
  • May 3rd, 2010
  • 5 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

I read the submission by Jayson, but with little interest. I read the replies with even less interest.

Frankly, I don’t give a ‘rats arse’ about Jayson and his opinion or the replies. Why does everyone get so ‘wound up’ on these topics? One thing can be said with certainty, and that is that Jayson’s opinion brought out the indignant and those trying to defend their position in droves. I think the only valid point made from any of the submissions was the point that everyone is different.

And so am I (different).

And that is why I do not give a ‘rats arse’ about any of it.

From my perspective (and for the below it is my perspective and my perspective only that counts – truly no one else matters):

* I have the best relationship with my wife that I could ever want.
* To me, she is stunning and beautiful.
* To me, she is witty & smart.
* To me, she is the perfect wife, and I do not want anything more – other than a long and happy life with the woman of MY dreams.
* I don’t care in the slightest if others think he is ugly, or even if others think she is ‘butt-ugly’.
* I don’t care a stuff what others think about me in a relationship with her, or how others judge her (or me for that matter) because of our backgrounds.
* I am living my life for me. I have made my choices and I am one of the happiest people on this planet given the choices I have made.
* I make decisions and take actions for the happiness of me and my wife, and not based on what others think, or may think.

I truly feel sad for people like Jayson who seem to find a need to view the world based on the way he thinks others would like him to view the world. And I feel equally sad for all of those who feel it necessary to jump to defend their view of the world, when that happens to different from that of Jayson. Grow up people! Don’t you all have your own life to lead? Are you so insecure and/or unhappy with your life and the decisions that you have made, that you feel it necessary to defend it when Jayson writes the article he did? The fact that you find a need to be so defensive is the saddest point of all.

Take the article by Jayson for what it is. And that is a point-of-view. An interesting point-of-view too. Of course I found my self ticking off the lists and comparing which of the features on the list my (Thai) wife did and did not have. But at the end of the day it holds no more importance to me, than when you read your horoscope or answer one of those magazine questionnaires that then draws some conclusion about you in whatever the topic is.

Whether my wife has none of the attributes on Jayson’s list or all of them, is no more than a passing interest, because of regardless of where she ‘rates’, it does not change the fact that I am in a wonderful marriage where OUR expectations and wishes be it communication, companionship, intimacy, etc etc are being met to OUR standards. WE are happy!

So get a life people! Start to focus your energy on making your life what YOU want it to be – if you are truly happy with your life, then anything Jayson says would be ‘water of a ducks back’ even if your wife had all the attributes on his list, and even if you fitted his definition of the ‘down and out’ slob of a farang.

Related to the above thoughts, this is also the reason why the west is so ‘stressed out’ and focused on ‘consumerism’. It is for the same reason that people react to Jayson’s article. We are so ‘sold’ (mostly by media I think), on having to ‘compete with others’ and have the latest and best of everything so we can be seen to be ‘up with the Joneses’, that so many people are trapped into cycles of longer and longer work and while they struggle to afford a vast array of mostly unnecessary ‘wants’ just so that they can be seen to be ‘successful and happy’ by OTHERS!. The irony is that so many people are so busy trying to make themselves appear successful and happy by the standards that they think others have, that they end up in many cases finding that they create stress, unhappiness, and end with very miserable lives.

Whether it be the women you choose, the house or car that you buy, or the job that you have, it is time, I think, to go back to the basics and live YOUR life for YOU. Too many people live their life for others and suffer terribly as a result. I wonder whether Jayson could be an example when it comes to the women he would choose?

So in summary, my suggestion is to put your own ‘house in order’ first, and make your life what YOU want it to be, by finding and doing those things in life that make YOU truly happy. If you do this, you have found the ultimate in life. This is real success and real happiness. Neither of which is measured by the size of your house, the car you drive, the job you do, or the shade of skin color of your wife or whether she comes from Bangkok or Buriram.

Lastly, I do not want to degenerate into the debate started by Jayson, other than to say this. There are truly, truly, wonderful wives available for western men (even fat, old, and butt-ugly ones) in Thailand. I know this, because I have one. We have been together for 5 years now, and while nothing in life can be certain, I am as certain as I can be about anything, that I will grow old with her, and continue to be one of the happiest men on this planet.. I don’t care about what Jayson thinks, and nor do I care what any of those rebutting Jayson thinks either. My wife and I are happy. What others think is irrelevant. For us being happy together is the most important thing in our life, and is all that matters.