Readers' Submissions

Communication And Jayson’s Insecurities

  • Written by Anonymous
  • May 4th, 2010
  • 6 min read


The main gist I got from reading Jayson's submission, is that lack of verbal communication creates an unsavory relationship with a Thai female, which than becomes mostly based on monetary advantage for the said female.

As Korski mentioned, communication is much, much more than just spoken words. I am in aviation business and part of the job is a concept called CRM (crew resource management). During this yearly training, a part of it is on direct communication between crew in the cockpit and support agencies like air traffic controllers. Obviously you can’t see the person on the other end, therefore, you have to rely on verbal only communication. You would be amazed at how many misunderstandings can be made while communicating only via speech. That is why aviation has standard phraseology to limit the amount of screw ups. Speech only counts as 7% of total communication. The vast majority is body language at 55%, and tonal expression at 38%. With women it’s about the delivery and not the content. You can talk about puffy clouds, furry kittens, marshmallows, or anything else idiotic that most women want to hear (feel), as long as you do it confidently. Take a handsome Spaniard or a Frenchman speaking sexually in their language to a pretty American lady which understands none of it, and she will wet her panties. Without bragging, my quickest lay was “speechless”. A “doggie bowl” look, a certain touch and slow escalation, a kiss, and no words are necessary to know exactly what both of us want.

If there is a spark between both parties, they will be able to communicate passionately, even if she is a mute (no, I didn’t take this from the crappy Bangkok Dangerous).

Before I comment on Jason, I just want to mention about my background as it is pertinent to where I think Jayson is coming from with his submission.

I have lived, and was educated in a major North American city with a wide Asian and European demographic. From what I have observed is that Asian men in the West, have a strong disadvantage of finding a female partner not only of white origin (that is almost beyond reach to most Asian males), but also of their own race. They even have websites dedicated to venting their frustrations at their Asian women (Google it). The curious, outspoken, well educated, and open minded Asian females that dominate Western universities (my type), would love to date Caucasian men. The problem is, a lot of guys are into full figured women which eliminates a considerable number of Asians. The ones that do like petite types have no problem of attracting Asian ladies. This seems to irk the male Asian population as it substantially shallows the pool of potential partners. I have seen them being completely ignored by their own kind in front of a good looking Caucasian. From my curious observation I noticed that Asian females who only desire to date Asian guys are the shy and generally of “vanilla ice cream” variety, where they have no particular interests, generally uneducated, are trend followers, or heavily influenced by their very conservative first generation immigrant parents. They seem to be looking for a guy to provide them with purpose to their boring life, and are afraid of being explorative themselves. This is of course a general statement but it does seem to repeat itself often.

Now, coming to Jayson, and to what seems like an insecure individual submission. From Jayson's writing style I can conclude that he lived abroad for some time. I think Jayson developed a substantial animosity to white men while abroad because he lacked the all important female attention as mentioned above, and unfortunately, it overshadowed his thinking. The irony of it is that Jayson is almost exactly like a burnout farang in Thailand that couldn’t score in Farangland. The difference is that he speaks Thai. And since his Thai is better than most farang, he considers lack of verbal communication to be the main obstacle for farang to date the ‘desirables’. He doesn’t realize that youth and good job prospects are probably the main driver that lets him be successful with Thai ladies. Being back in Thailand, he is the man. Western educated, probably well paid by local standards, a catch for most Thai ladies. Now he’s on the pedestal and farang are begging for his leftovers. Seems like a power trip of some sort. The problem is, he is comparing the over 45 white men, who, from what I seen in Pattaya and elsewhere, are quite freakish. Definitely not a pick for a 20 something female in any other country. But this is Thailand. No matter where you live on this planet, an aging gentleman without considerable assets, or not being fairly famous, will have difficult time of attracting a prime 20 something for an honest non-monetary based relationship. Of course it can happen, but looking at some of the submissions on Stickman, this is not always the case.

Now take a look at Khao San crowd (skip the dreadlocks, skinheads, and heavy tattoos), or Koh Samui. Look at the young, educated, and outgoing guys. Most of them are not interested in Thai girls. They just want to score with the blond Scandinavians, or the passionate Israelis. They are not desperate for love or local female attention. Throw this crowd into RCA and they are pulling panties left and right. Put a good looking young farang in your local village and he will eclipse your spectacled, Thai speaking village poster boy on a sunny day. Sure, your poster boy may be popular if he is wealthy or has solid job prospects, but place him behind the counter of a 7-11 and see how many hi-sos he will score.

My point is, you are comparing different age groups. You just can’t say that verbal communication plays a major role if age and looks polarity is that vast. There’s just no attraction. This is a primal instinct that does not change anywhere. Youth equals fertility, good-looks equal health, and money equals stability. If you have all, well, then you have them all.

And as far as my choice of ladies is, if she doesn’t want to learn English, than the relationship is over. Not because I want to force my way, but a young educated girl in a semi developed country who does not know it, or does not want to learn it, speaks volumes of her life priorities. English is an international language mandatory in practically all serious fields all over the world; business, medicine, engineering, tourism. If you can’t speak it, than you will always be a local shaman making 10 baht per visit. And yes you’re right, English in not my first language.

The only reason you have your insecure submission is not that ‘farang’ are doing something wrong, it is the beautifully “deviant” women that are doing it right. This is “deviant” Thailand, you’re Thai, you should know better!

Oh, and by the way, I had two interesting relationships with ‘no-english’ bank girls from Rama IV business centre. They were both tall, white skinned, and quite pretty by Thai standards (judging from envious looks of Thai men). And I must say, I had more trouble getting a stunner from Rainbow 4 with better English.

Same, same, but different.

Stickman's thoughts:

Pressed for time so sorry, no comments.