This is not part 2 of a submission but an expansion. More ‘what happened next’. You can find the original submission Genesis here.
~ After saying goodbye and ‘maybe I’ll see you again’ in the morning to my first ever barfine I went back to my room and slept. I woke around midday, fuel was required. I went out, got something to eat and made my way to MBK. Whatever I did that day I had a feeling of guilt clouding me. I couldn’t shake the sleazy feeling I had had when I parted from Bxxxx. I returned to my hotel. These thoughts / feelings expanding and contracting in my head. I got ready for another night out.
My original idea was to barfine a few different girls for the short time I was to be in Bangkok. But the unnecessary guilt I had built up inside me was telling me to go to her bar and at least say hello. Maybe I should tell her that I wouldn’t be able to barfine her again. It was beginning to feel like I had some sort of duty to see her. Plus, I did have fun in her bar. In my subconscious I must have been thinking she was feeling the same as me. I had begun to make a ridiculous picture in my head of her going home that morning then fretting all day: “will he / won’t he come back to me tonight”. Yes, I know, absurd.
When I arrived at her bar I couldn’t see her. I saw what I thought was the back of her, sitting opposite a customer. At first a wave of jealousy came over me, rapidly replaced by a feeling of relief. Excellent, no guilt, she’s moved on (as if she would be hung up on me). Then I saw her walking toward me from the back of her bar. The look on her face was of pure joy. As if I was a boyfriend returning from months overseas. This look cemented in my mind that she had been waiting for me to come back that night. This immediately made the sleazy sensation go away but increased the guilty feeling ten fold.
We chatted, she said how much she had missed me (since this morning? Maximum 12 hours?) and how she hoped I would return for her. Yes, she did say for her. Like I was there to rescue her from this terrible position she finds herself in. Now, some time afterwards, it seems so contrived, but at the time in put the seed of White Knight Syndrome in me. Could I be the one to help her escape this life where she is forced (?) to prostitute herself. The guilt was replaced with this better emotion, nay challenge. To save this damsel in distress. An easy way to begin my rescue mission was to barfine her again that night. I had been easily coerced. We got something to eat and spent the night getting to know each other.
Once again we parted in the next morning, this time with me promising to see her that night. I no longer felt sleazy about the situation. In hindsight I probably was already being drawn in. I planned to barfine her for the next 2 nights, thinking it would give us more time to get to know one another. In the early evening I made my way to her bar, much earlier then the previous days (18.00 approx). Full of anticipation of what the next 2 days may bring. I went up the steps to the bar. I couldn’t see her. I sat, ordered a drink, thinking maybe she was getting a customers drink. I saw a friend of hers and asked were she was. “Don’t know, think she holiday” was the reply. This was news to me. Immediately I thought ‘barfined already’. I felt my face flush and my stomach knot. Did I really care so much already? I quickly finished my drink, paid and left.
I felt strange. Gutted even. I went back to my hotel, only a short walk, went up to my room, showered thinking it would help me clear my head. I sat down, lit a cigarette and started thinking – too much. Did I really care? Was she acting? Why chance going with another customer knowing I would turn up? Was I that much a loser I couldn’t even keep a whore interested?
Suddenly I was interrupted by the hotel room phone. Who could that be? Nobody knows I’m staying here.
“Kuhn Zeitgeist?” A male voice asked.
“You have a visitor in reception, one moment” passing the phone over.
“Sawadee ka” (female voice)
“It me, Bxxxx”
“I’ll come down” I replied.
I made my way to the elevator. Outside I was smiling, inside I was feeling warm. I couldn’t believe the effect she was having on me so soon. I exited the elevator, walked toward the reception desk and saw her sitting there, smiling like I was once again returning from a long overseas post. She wasted no time in explaining that she didn’t start work until 19.00 and her friend (not the girl I spoke to) had told her I’d gone to their bar but left after a short period. I relayed that the other girl had said she was on holiday and what I thought that meant. She was very angry with what the girl said and with my assumption. Bxxxx gave the girl a real tongue-lashing later that night. What this act of going to my hotel, only knowing my first name and not being 100% on my room number, and asking reception to call me proved was that she had the same feelings for me as I for her.
After that it began to feel more like boy meets girl. Going to the cinema, having breakfast together, walking around Sukhumvit etc. The more time we spent together the more it seemed like we weren’t bargirl and customer. She came across as a genuinely nice person. She liked going for walks, she didn’t own a mobile phone or television. She read books, although these turned out to be those comic style books. She had no tattoos. Only worked in the bar for 3 months. So far only 3 barfines, including me. No email account. She never asked for money or for me to buy her things, even offered to pay for meals / taxis etc. The opposite of these would have been red flags to me but maybe I had found the good girl in a bad situation…
By my last morning in Bangkok I had begun to have feelings for her, not in love but more then just 2 people who hooked up. And I believed she felt the same for me. I didn’t want to leave. I had family in Hua Hin and had promised to see them. I offered to take her with me but she was reluctant to meet them so soon (or didn’t want to miss the opportunity to make some money?). I had planned on staying in Hua Hin and going straight to Bangkok airport for my return to Farangland. I told her I would try to return to Bangkok before my flight so we could be together again. Before I left she asked me to write down my email address and she could pay for a lady in an internet café to create an account for her.
I was to spend approximately 10 days in Hua Hin. I began to miss her after a couple of days. About 3 days after arriving from Bangkok I thought I ought to check my email. When I opened my account there was a dozen messages all from her. Saying how much she enjoyed spending time with me and how kind I was to her. She also said if I couldn’t come back to Bangkok it was ok, she understood and how some farangs just wanted to have sex with Thai girls. On our first night together the question of age had come up. She had told me she was 28, which by her looks was believable. In her emails she came clean. Saying she was in fact 37 and if I was no longer interested because she was an ‘old lady’ she would understand. Her age was of no concern but the fact she had lied worried me. But don’t all women lie about their age? And she had confessed. Up until seeing the abundant emails I was unsure if I should return to Bangkok. They made up my mind for me. I would return and see her for my final 2 days.
I hadn’t told her that I would definitely be back to Bangkok, or what day. When I arrived, early evening, I walked to her bar to surprise her. Thinking maybe she would be with a customer and I would realise how stupid the feelings I was nurturing were. Even as I was falling deeper I knew how stupid it is to get involved with a bargirl. It would have been an easy ‘out’ to turn up and she was ‘unavailable’. Admittedly I would have been heartbroken, maybe too strong, but I could have walked away unscathed with only a good girl friend experience to tell tales of. Unfortunately, as I turned the corner to walk into her bar, there she was, sitting alone, starring out onto Sukhumvit road. Her smile dazzled, her eyes lit up, as I expect did mine.
We spent my remaining time in Thailand together doing touristy things. I went on my first ever organised tour in Thailand. We booked through the hotel to go to the Floating Market in Damnoen Saduak for a morning. It was a complete waste of time. The brief ride on the boat through the canals seeing the houses was interesting but the market itself was, in my opinion, just for tourists. Selling the same stuff on the stalls on Suk but instead of dodgy pavements you’re on the water. If the tour would have been just the houses and seeing people’s lives I would have enjoyed it.
I was to leave at 5 AM the next morning. In the twilight hours the night before her tone was more serious. She was interested to know our future. By now I was hooked. I was interested to see if something could come from this. But there was no way I was going to be in a relationship with someone who ‘worked bar’. She said ok, she would leave, but asked if I would barfine her until the end of the month (only 2 days) so she could then pick up her salary. There was no mention of buying her out of the bar, which I’ve since read on here is a bit of a fallacy anyway. We left the hotel at 1:30 AM and went to her bar. I gave her the barfine for the next 2 days, she emptied her locker and handed back the key. Said she would be back to pick up her salary in a couple of days and we left.
After that it was the usual (very tired) goodbye stuff at the airport. No money handed over or requested. No tears. But a heart-felt kiss goodbye.
What happened when I got home? Will we live happily ever after?
Tune in next week (submission) …
Very keen to know what happened next! Very nice story telling!