Death Of My Wife
Maybe you can help me with this problem. My Thai wife committed suicide in Bangkok the first week of March. I do not know exactly the date. We have been separated since June 15, 2009. I had to leave Thailand on a midnight run because a few days before she had gone crazy and started destroying the furniture and burned my clothes. I called Udon Thani tourist police who told me they could not do anything because my wife was Thai, so I could not press charges against her, but they advised me to get as far as possible from her for my own safety. They even asked me if I would like to be an auxiliary police officer, because I was one in Canada and my English was good. She then tried to commit suicide twice in the next three days, the last time was a closer call, so while she was kept in hospital, wrists and ankles restrained and heavily sedated, I bought a one-way ticket back home.
Now when I got married her February 18, 2009, I made her family promise me that if she would go crazy again that I could count on their help. They all said yes. Because two years before she had tried to kill herself at our house in Pattaya but I ended up drinking her suicide cocktail because of her not so good English and the problem they all have about recent past and something that happened ten years ago, so I ended up in the emergency unconscious and realized only the next morning what happened.
Going back to last June, when I found her with her suicide note and the empty sleeping pills packs, I asked for their help and they all told me she is your wife now so your problem! Her brother even threatened me should anything happened to his sister. A close friend of mine, who helped me at that time to get out of Thailand, told me recently that he had given a false phone number to my wife and he also gave her and her family a wrong e-mail address and account that he opened so that he could monitor everything between her and me without my knowledge. (He told me a few weeks ago, implying that he had done it to protect me). Now he does not want to talk about that case as he told me. She could have killed herself just because of the misinformation he gave her. She had a borderline personality and she was also paranoid.
This was a seven year relationship. We must have broken up at least thirty times but I always took her back. Even with her psychological problems, I did not decide to fall in love with her, it just happened. I know it makes no sense to most people to get in such a crazy relationship but then I don't like easy going women. I get bored very fast. So two months after the wedding she told me that she had lied to me so that I would marry her. That she wanted money, a car and a house. Before the wedding she told me that marrying her would make her feel secure and that she did not need anything else – no money, no car, no house. I was sixty two when I got married and she was forty six. The relationship started when I retired in Thailand in 2001. We were always together 24/7. I took care of her needs.
My problem is that I hurt so much because that women was the passion of my life. If I had known that she was about to really do, I would have tried to help. I even would have gone back to Thailand to try to fix things up. I cannot stop thinking about it. In one of her last SMSs she wrote that she would die in the house we rented in Udon because she could not go back to her family. That part is not easy for me to understand because she gave all of her money to her family when she was younger. She also sent a lot of money to her brother who lived a playboy lifestyle with his motorcycle gang. In the end they all abandoned her. Your wife must surely know why she acted like that and why she always refused to confront these issues with me.
Now I am sure that she left a suicide note, because on her three prior attempts she left a suicide note (that I have photo copied). That new suicide note would help me to understand what really happened in her last days and why this time she decided to end it for real, by hanging herself. I will not rest until I know what really happened. Going back right now would be very risky for me as I have been told by a few very well-connected farangs that I know, businessmen in the entertainment business.
Do you think is it possible to get information from the Thai police about what happened exactly and is it possible to get a copy of her suicide note?
First of all, I am very sorry to hear of your disastrous marriage and the loss of your wife.
I would contact a Thai lawyer who speaks English and get them to liaise with the police and see what they can find out for you. I am sure once the lawyer provided evidence that it was a bona fide inquiry from a husband then they would be fairly helpful. A few thousand baht should clinch the deal.