Stickman Readers' Submissions April 5th, 2010

A Refutation of It’s Not About Western Women By Korski

1) ‘A man from the West who is, say, 20 years older than a woman in Asia has to live with someone with whom there is very little to discuss that can in any sense be called stimulating or intellectual.

On average, she is going to have a much inferior education, have poor analytical skills, have a poor sense of the larger world, have little or no sense of world history, and simply not be interested in discussing matters that extend beyond
immediate needs and concerns: shopping, what’s on TV, the kids, the extended family and its needs, food, and local gossip. The same is true of a great many women in the West; it is just that the odds of finding someone who has a much better
education, who has some level of analytical skills, who has some sense of the larger world and is interested in discussing such matters, are much greater. If you own intellectual needs are small or nonexistent—if you live in a small world,
then this is a non-issue.’

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I can think of a certain western woman with a degree in education, employment and a wage equal to my own (school teacher in a comprehensive school) until she had children. She was pretty much only interested in Shopping, the kids and her
family, not to forget TV soaps. She never made any attempt at stimulating or intellectual discussion, had no knowledge of the larger world and little interest in world events. Good luck finding one that does, I didn't meet many, and those
I did, I didn't fancy.

2) ‘A man from the West is not accustomed to having to support an extended family—mothers, fathers, cousins, and other relatives, and if this is a concern, as it is with most Westerners, then marrying an Asian woman is, on average,
not a good bet. In fact, it’s a terrible idea. You will be burdened financially with the demands of all kinds of relatives about whom you care little or not at all, and it is a good bet that over time resentment—profound resentment—will
set in.’

I have always been of the opinion that I will support those who live in my household, I have always done so, and will continue to do so. My Thai wife did initially ask for money for her family but I reply, I give money to you, what you do
with it is totally up to you. Rather surprisingly very little money is distributed outside my household. I think if you act like an ATM, everyone will treat you like an ATM.

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3) ‘A man from the West can marry a woman in Asia twenty or thirty years younger than himself, and in the first five or ten years of the marriage her beauty will be evident and shine through. But she too will age, and it will show
in her face and body, and I see no evidence whatsoever that an Asian woman ages any better than a Western woman. In fact, perhaps not as well. Arguably, a small woman (in height) is not going to carry the fat she will inevitably pick up with the
years as well as a woman in the West. Look at Western men with middle-aged Thai wives, and the wives are a pretty sorry looking lot.’

If you are a fairly old person this problem will not occur. Marry a lady age 22 when you are 62, and by the time the lady is middle aged, you will most likely be dead and unconcerned about her looks. Avoid the mistake of marrying early or
someone near your own age. If you are younger, why not just live with a lady and update when they look 'a bit sorry'. Splitting up with a partner here is not the financial disaster that it would be in your home country, and always plenty
of replacements to choose from.

4) ‘After the first years of marriage, and particularly after children come, sex goes downhill in Western marriages. Or it becomes nonexistent. I am aware of no evidence that what happens in this regard between Westerners and Asian
women is any different. Let’s take a look at some particulars, consider individual tradeoffs, and then briefly the suite of tradeoffs one must deal with. ‘

Same answer as point 3), marry the right age woman and by the time she has lost interest in sex, you will have lost interest in everything except drooling. But then if you don't want children, why marry at all.

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5) ‘In the West it is easy to marry a woman who can get a good job and bring a substantial amount of income to a marriage. This is not nearly so often the case with an Asian woman. She takes rather than contributes. Even if she has
a university degree that degree does not translate into a good paying job as easily as does the degree earned in the West, not by a long measure in most cases. The issue here is that, like it or not, a good part of all marriages turns on economics;
money solves few problems, but it does prevent a great many from arising, or at least attenuates them.’

The lady in the west may initially have a good job, but very soon she is likely to realize that staying at home and drinking coffee with the other wives is a lot more satisfactory than working for a living. When she divorces you she will
go for the sympathy claim and insist she gave up her own career in order to take care of you, your children, and then walk away with your house and your pension.

6) ‘Women in the West, it is widely claimed, are uppity and often feminists in the worst sense of that word. As with everything about women everywhere, there is enormous variation. The great majority of American women that one finds
in the biker culture and on America’s or England’s assembly lines are no more feminist than I am a cane toad.’ I would rather have sex with a cane toad than a woman from the biker community, could you suggest a more attractive
western culture for me to try and extract a woman from.

7) ‘Marry an Asian woman, as in Thailand, and live with her in her village, and you will live a life unlike anything you have been accustomed to in the West; and here the negatives simply swamp the positives of keeping the woman out
of the West and all of its influences: constant noise, dirt everywhere, small minds everywhere, constant demands on your scarce resources, and a complete lack of privacy—to mention just a few of the many issues one must deal with to be
able to live in a Thai village.’

This is completely true but easily avoided. Be a man and not a doormat, you decide where you and your wife live, in Thailand about a 12 hour coach journey away from the family village should do the trick. IMHO you would have to be certifiably
insane to go and live in a third world village with squat toilets (of course there are plenty of insane people living out here). If I owned Issan and hell, I would rent out Issan and live in hell. (I suspect hell would be cooler too!)

8) Marry an Asian woman and take her to the West and before long she will began to take on a great many of the traits that many men find so undesirable in Western women. And if she is in her twenties and good looking, she will be hit on constantly,
and if you are twenty or thirty years her senior you will be damn lucky if she doesn’t fool around behind your back. And yet taking her to the West may, on balance, be a quite good idea compared to living in a suffocating parochial Thai

If you are still working then you are too young to have a Thai wife (see item 3 and 4). Don’t take your Thai lady back to the western world, the sisterhood will soon see to her feminazi training and you will be fleeced as usual.

9) ‘Take this brief and incomplete set of issues and run through a list of pluses and minuses with regard to marrying an Asian vs. an American or English or Australian woman and it is by no means clear that there is anything like a
strong case to be made against Western women.’

For a man who can stand up for himself I believe it is completely obvious that there is a clear case to be made for the Thai lady. If you are a completely weak and downtrodden man then I agree, It may be too late for you to be a man.

10) ‘Of course, if it is youth and fleeting beauty that one must have, and one is naïve enough to believe that these traits can overcome all those very considerable liabilities of Asian women, then go with the Asian woman twenty
or thirty years your junior and hope like hell that she doesn’t bury you mentally and financially, literally if not figuratively before you die. Or find out that she has a Thai boyfriend or husband for whom she really cares.’

This can be avoided, select carefully where you live and theavailability of local younger men, this is something to be considered wherever you live in the world. Some ladies will have a go at shagging the gardener and utility men whichever
country you live in. If youth and beauty are your main aims, then don’t get married and update your woman as required.

11) ‘Is this a legitimate way of conceptualizing the problem? Well, yes and no, one might argue. Yes if you’ve got a lot to offer and have a broad choice set—a good education, a good job and money, have taken care of
yourself, and choose wisely—and never forget the airtight prenup so you can walk away from a marriage solvent.’

If you never take your Thai lady to the western world she will be unlikely to make any sort of legal claim against your assets. Leave your assets offshore, don’t buy a house or condo, renting is the much cheaper and easier option.
Register the car in your name. After all even child maintenance awarded by Thai courts are easily payable and not enforced anyway. (Thai court uses a system not dependent on the mans income, currently 80 bht a day plus another 20bht if the child
is in school I believe)

12) ‘No, if you’re into middle-age and look it, and don’t have a whole lot of education, and don’t have that much money, and have been through a marriage or two or three—in general, just don’t have
that much to offer. Or nothing to offer. Which, from all I’ve seen, is the predicament of the overwhelming majority of expats in Southeast Asia. To put it bluntly, they’re losers, just like the loser women in the West they are so
keen to dump on. Losers can only get losers, until you go to Southeast Asia—and then, unless you are both lucky and wise to the ways of all womanly worlds, you will hook up with a different kind of loser.’

Being middle aged or having little education is not the problem. (I am not one of the educational racists that appear to be so popular, give me a farm girl who left school at age 12 and knows 100 different tricks in bed to a frigid woman
with a masters degree any day) If, however, you have gone through a divorce in the western world you can most likely be considered a loser. You will have lost your house, you will have lost your savings and pension. You will more than likely have
lost your children. The western justice system will strip you of everything you own just because you risked a long term relationship with a woman. In the UK you don’t even need to be married, living in the same house as a lady for 6 months
will get her an entitlement to your home, get her pregnant and oh dear! The divorce rate in the western world is now at around 50 percent, can you really call all those man losers in the way you imply it? I think not. Even so, in Thailand a ‘loser’
can have wild sex with a beautiful young woman, in the west that same ‘loser’ won’t have a hope in hell. (Why shouldn’t the worst of losers have the opportunity of a good shag?)

13) ‘The only real consistent winners from the West who play the Asian card are what Asian women thought-out Southeast Asia contemptuously refer to as butterflies.’

To live in Thailand you need to start thinking about love and marriage in a totally different way. You can love a lady (or ladies) as much as your heart allows, but you must always keep your hand on your wallet. At least here if you give
her a house it was your choice to do so (and often you even have to sign a document saying you will make no financial claim on the property), in the west it is up to the courts. At least here a married man has an automatic right to 50 percent
custody of his children, in the west it is up to the courts and the social services, both of which appear to be controlled by man haters who appear to believe that the greatest danger to children are their own fathers.

I’m an avid reader of the Stickman site and have used many of the ideas and comments from here to help me in my personal life. Having such a good resource to allow us all to help understand the ladies of Thailand stops us repeating everyone else’s
same mistakes again and again (hopefully).

But in one respect I do have a different opinion to many of the other posters (and Stick). I believe that looking for that educated good girl in Thailand is the supreme mistake any foreigner can make. What most of us are looking for is a
woman who is pretty, attentive, fun and good in bed (i.e. a bar girl). I am a great one for believing that the Thais only ever do what they want to do. If a girl didn’t enjoy sex, she wouldn’t be working in the ‘hostess’
business. When you search for the illusive ‘good girl’ you are in danger of finding a girl who doesn’t enjoy sex, and may end up with exactly what you had in your home country and didn’t like. Of course most of the
‘good girls’ that westerners meet are bad girls pretending to be ‘good girls’, so you are on to a loser from the beginning as you are not prepared for what you are about to get. I think with a bit of forward thought
and planning you can find a nice enough girl in a bar and forge a proper relationship with that girl. Relationships don’t just happen, you need to put a bit of work into it. What about this obsession that everyone appears to have with finding
someone of an equal educational level. Does this even exist in Thailand? Having met with a very lovely Thai lady who had a masters in political history and very good English, I realized she knew nothing of history or politics or world events (was
boring as hell, and not very good in bed), yet an expat bricklayer from the UK could hold his own in this same discussion. This isn’t just a one off event, the Thai educational system is a total disaster, my personal opinion is that a Thai
education is worthless in the outside world. You want someone to chat with, go down the pub and chat with the guys.

OK so you pick out a bar girl and at the start they are obviously in it for the money, but a lot of the working girls select their customers (maybe not in Pattaya and Bangkok), certainly up North that is the case. All but the very desperate
let customers know who they would like to go home with. Let’s face it, you might as well take one home that appears to like you and unless you are completely hopeless you can read the signs. Once you have found one that likes you, why not
enter initially into a commercial relationship, treat it like an arranged marriage, arranged marriages work.

This won’t work if you are hopelessly weak in the relationship, but then no relationship will work with any woman if you let them get the upper hand. Just like dealing with children you set limits and boundaries and give clear indications
of what they are.

Stickman's thoughts:

No comments from me as it is hard to comment on the comments someone has made about another submission. I do think I am in the Korski camp though…

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