Stickman Readers' Submissions March 9th, 2010

The Stupidest Thing I Have Ever Done

I have been coming to Thailand several times a year for about five years now. I am currently in Pattaya and will be here, off and on, for about two months. I have done some stupid things in my lifetime but by far the stupidest was waiting until yesterday
to experience my first soapy massage.

I had read about soapies several years ago and was certainly intrigued but for some reason had never made it to one of Pattaya’s body massage establishments. Yesterday I was feeling a little bored so I made up my mind to finally find out what a
soapy was all about.

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I hopped on a baht bus on Second Road and got off at Soi 4 where I had previously seen several massage parlors. I walked around for a while trying to decide which one to choose and finally chose the one that looked the most farang friendly. I walked in,
sat down, and ordered a Heineken. In front of me, behind a glass partition, were seated about twenty lovely Thai ladies of various ages and physical attributes. I asked the waiter how things worked and the procedure was explained. Once I had chosen
my masseuse, I would tell the waiter the number which she wore on her outfit, pay 1800THB for the room and girl for 90 minutes and she would escort me to the back where I would be “cleaned” beyond my wildest fantasies.

I sat and sipped my beer while checking out the girls on offer. Many of them tried to get my attention by waving, blowing kisses and winking. Since I am very particular about the kind of women I find attractive there was really only one who looked like
she might fit the bill for me. Unfortunately, I could not tell if she had a flat stomach and nice legs (both of which are essential) because she was seated and wearing a long sarong. Her face was very pretty however and I had pretty much decided
on her. The only problem was she was the only girl behind the glass who was not paying any attention to me. I stared at her hoping one of the other girls would give her the message but it seemed she was just not interested. I decided maybe I should
try somewhere else and would just finish my beer and leave. Something in the back of my mind told me she was the one so I called the waiter over, told him her number and paid the bill.

She met me in the hallway leading to the rooms and now she was smiling and talkative. We entered a room which had a very large tub, a bed and a large tiled area like a very big shower. There was an inflatable mattress leaning against the wall and I knew
that would be where the best part would take place. A maid left a large basket filled with many soaps, lotions, lubes, condoms, tissue and towels. My chosen massage girl (Jai) told me to sit down while she prepared the room by filling the tub,
making a bucket of very sudsy water, placing condoms and lube by the bed and taking off her clothes. It was then that I knew I had made the right choice. She had a great body and an even better personality. She now was all smiles and was constantly
making jokes and laughing. I told her I was not sure about her at first and she explained she thought I was staring at the girl behind her and was not interested in her. She then undressed me and led me to the tub. She got in with me and proceeded
to slowly wash me all over using not just her hands but every part of her body while asking questions about me and telling me about herself.

After about ten minutes of making sure I was clean all over (some parts cleaner than others!) and thoroughly cleaning herself (with a little help from me) it was out of the tub and over to the inflatable plastic mattress. She first completely covered
it with soap suds and then had me lay down on my stomach. Then she covered me with suds and used her body to give me a slip and slide massage that was absolutely an incredible sensual experience. Just when I was thinking it could not get any better
than this, she told me to turn over and repeated the procedure on my front side. WOW! I just cannot describe how great that felt. After a while, she asked me if I wanted to go to the bed but I told her I was perfectly happy where I was and she
smiled and turned up the volume. She found the right spots and massaged them tenderly until I just could not take it any more. Even after I had finished she continued to rub her whole body against mine for several minutes while kissing me and
whispering sweet things in my ear. She then put me back in the tub which she had refilled and washed me and herself all over again. After, she rinsed me and carefully dried me off with a soft towel paying particular attention to the hard to reach

We then got dressed while chatting and I told her how much I had enjoyed my first soapy massage and promised I would come to see her again. I think I even proposed to her! Since I had my camera in my pocket I asked her if it would be ok to take a few
photos and she said yes (nothing naughty). After I gave her a nice tip, she kissed me goodbye, told me she hoped to see me again soon and walked me back to the front. (well, she walked, I floated!)

As I said before, I have done some stupid things but when I think that I could have been enjoying soapy massages for the past five years and did not, I truly feel like an idiot! I plan to make up for this digression with frequent sudsy adventures in the
future while still enjoying all the other pleasures that Thailand has to offer of course!

Stickman's thoughts:

These are the sorts of places that tend to be popular with Thai men. That such venues are less popular with Westerners is something of a surprise I reckon. There's no doubt in my mind that the women in such venues tend to be much more attractive too.

nana plaza