Stickman Readers' Submissions February 9th, 2010

Jerry Springer In Bangkok

For anybody here who is not aware of the Jerry Springer television show, it was a television program in the states where dysfunctional guests often wound up fighting among themselves on stage during the program. There would be mothers who would be sleeping with their daughter’s boyfriends, one guy sleeping with three different sisters and that sort of situation. This will set the stage for a potential situation in this story.

On a return trip from India in February, 2009, I spent a few days in Bangkok and became quite infatuated with a young lady who worked in the Patpong area. I will call her “Tink”. It was quite an interesting situation. She spoke very little English and I spoke virtually no Thai at that time. At the bar I was told that she only knew one word of English. Then she walked over to my bar stool, and spoke into my ear. She said “Money”. Wouldn’t you know that this would be the only word of English that she would know. Oh well… I spent two nights with Tink on that portion of the trip and thought that I had definitely found the love of my life. I was able to get her an email account set up after I returned to the states and we began sending emails back and forth. Tink would often ask me when I was coming back to Bangkok to see her. Then in early November of 2009 I made a trip back to India and informed Tink that I would be coming back to see her. We spent six lovely days and nights together and had an incredible time. My favorite was a day trip to the Kwai River Bridge with a stop at one of the temples near there. It was a very nice vacation for me and hopefully for her too.

He Clinic Bangkok

I left Bangkok for India for what was supposed to be three weeks, but ended up being six weeks. While in Kolkata I visited one of the several Thai spas and took a liking to a lovely Thai masseuse who I shall call Kolk. I invited her back to the hotel that evening thinking that she could be a short term diversion. At the spa I had given her my cell number so that she could call me when she arrived at the hotel. This turned out to be a big mistake. We spent a few evenings together and enjoyed each other’s company. I left Kolkata and flew to Raipur.

The problem began when Kolk called me at least twice a day and once at night to tell me how much she loved me and how much she missed me. She also complained that I would not come to Kolkata to see her. I tried to explain that I was very busy and could not leave the facility. After a few weeks I was able to get away and get back to the relative civilization of Kolkata. Unfortunately at a lonely moment I happened to mention that I would be coming back for two days. We spent the two evenings together and once more I returned to Raipur. I was planning on leaving India to go back to the states on November 15th and landing in Thailand on the 16th. Meanwhile I had told Tink that I was going to Bangkok on the 16th and would meet her at the airport. Kolk asked me when I was leaving India. I told her that I would be leaving when the work was done which would be sometime around the 15th. Wouldn’t you know it that her work visa expired on the 18th and she wanted to fly back with me. That was all that I heard. “When are you going to Thailand. I want to fly back home with you.” After that I avoided telling her when I was leaving. I kept saying that I was not finished with my work yet. I did not need any fights breaking out at the airport. Hence the Jerry Springer reference in the title of this article. I just quietly slipped out of India and was on my way. I looked around several times at the airport to see if I could see anybody I recognized. It looked like the getaway was successful. Once in Bangkok I kept looking around to see if I had any unwanted company from India. Once again it looked like the coast was clear. On the afternoon of the 16th Tink and I were heading to MBK to do some shopping. As we were walking on the skywalk across the street from MBK I swear that I saw either Kolk or her twin sister standing there looking over the railing talking on a cell phone. Please do not turn around whoever you are I thought to myself. Tink and I did our shopping and I returned to the states that evening without incident. I must admit that I was quite the nervous individual for a while. Actually thinking about it a bit it might have been interesting to see two Thai ladies scrapping it out there at the airport. Nahhhh…That just would not be right.

I am hoping that on any future trips to Bangkok I am able to avoid Kolk. She is a lovely lady, but was demanding just a bit too much from our friendship. Now I know what my daughter meant when she said that some guys were just too high maintenance.

CBD Bangkok

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