Readers' Submissions

Thai Thoughts and Anecdotes Part 242

  • Written by Dana
  • January 9th, 2010
  • 5 min read


A MYSTERY

When I met Fa she was on the wrong side of thirty. Now she is on the wrong side of forty. It's been a long road. And never just easy. From the start it was her way or the highway and I had to hear the word NO. But she had misjudged me. My life had been failure, humiliation, and regret. You either go crazy or you dig in. I dug in at 500 baht. What would the next day bring from this tough beautiful whore?

The next morning of the next day she smiled and we crossed Beach Road to my hotel. Another 500 baht and the beginning of years and years. She never said a bad thing, and when she was pregnant she let me nurse. I don't think a younger man would have been able to handle Fa. It has taken monumental older man patience and compromise. The concept of investing is that you defer now for a bigger payoff in the future. Other women in the Kingdom were my slot machine pleasures–I invested with Fa. It was years before she would even lay beside me when we were finished making love. I wanted Fa to like me more–she didn't. I waited.

Last year after a typical morning 500 baht session she stayed next to me and asked if I would like to do 'long time'. If I had not been lying down (gasping for breath), I would have fallen down–and we had beaten the ten year mark on that one. Naturally, I said YES. Heck, maybe at this developing relationship rate I'll get a kiss on the lips at the twenty year mark. Sigh–I love Fa.

'Long time' would be at her apartment. She lives a couple of sois over from my hotel. Usually once a week. Sometimes twice. Hard not to notice the calendar on this. Just before leaving Pattaya to go to Essan for a couple of months she would suddenly find me more appealing (needs money), and upon return she would be calling me (she was broke). Like I said, not a young man's game. But Fa near me was like Kryptonite near Superman–I had no defence.

The other day she calls and asks if I want to do 'long time' and can I come at 5:30 p.m. instead of 10:00 p.m. and can I bring my small backpack? When I knock on the door she smiles and drags me inside. No small talk and no boom-boom. First she takes off my backpack and helps me put on her babypack with the baby. Fa has a baby (no not mine). I have spent many wonderful times walking with Fa with her baby on my back. I think this should bother me. It doesn't.

Next she has me stick out my arms and she puts my small backpack on my front. Then she puts two backpacks on–front and back. Out the door. Where are we going? No idea. . . well, why don't I just ask? I have known her for years right? We two mature adults (I'm 58) must be able to communicate–right? Wrong. I don't speak Thai, and the Thais are the French of South-East Asia. Get one tone incorrect and they pretend they have NO NO NO idea what you are trying to say. Thais don't want to communicate with non-Thais. Period. Does Fa speak English? Well, yes and no. When she wants to she can speak English (how many English clients has she had in twenty years) but she holds back and pretends she can't with me. Why give me anything? This old whore is tough. Like I said, not a young man's woman.

Well, it turns out that on this day of the week every week there is a local outdoor market mostly for Thais. You don't see many foreigners. It is the village from their youth that all the Thais remember–in the middle of Pattaya. Unimpressive, shabby, dirty, and low prices. Now I know why we are carrying extra backpacks. And I know why I got the call for 'long time'. Sigh. But I am happy. I am with Fa. Of course there is a lot of girl talk with her friends and a lot of baby talk with the baby but I don't mind. I can feel the sun on my shoulders and I am just unreflectively happy. And I believe the Thais believe that the baby is my baby–our baby–Fa and I. I don't mind this and Fa does not correct them. Everyone is very nice to me.

After about two hours we stagger home like beasts of burden–backpacks full of canned goods, and fruits, and vegetables (what is that?), and paper towels, and toilet paper, and a bucket, and a mop, and cleaning supplies (what is this?), and baby stuff. In addition to the baby on the my back and the backpack on my front; I am also carrying two plastic bags of stuff. Fa has the two backpacks plus the rubber bucket, and the mop, and a fist full of fashion and celebrity magazines.

Into the apartment and I strip off backpacks and fall onto the bed. Fa puts on some Thai music and there is much kissing of the baby. I hear my name. And there sprawled out on the bed I try to figure out the mystery. What mystery? Well, review the story. What didn't you read about that you expected to read about in a Thai-farang drama? What's the missing link? What did I expect to have to do over and over and over, but in fact; I never had to do once?

Fa paid for everything. She never asked me for money. Not once. She's a bone lazy whore with finely attuned user and manipulator skill sets with farang customers but she never tapped me once. I had 2000 baht in my wallet ('long time' is 1000 baht). I'd have made a contribution. I'd have helped her out. But she never asked. Which brings to mind the question:

"Hey, what is going on with this relationship?"

Stay tuned . . .

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

There's at least one bargirl out there who touched each last one of us. We've each got that story in us.