Saved by Another’s Death
Here’s my story about my experience with the Thailand scene. Background: 46 year old American, educated, engineer, relatively handsome, level-headed, polite, not a heavy drinker, divorced for 10 years, father of two teenage girls. I first got the bug for Thailand back in 2000 when things were booming and my pockets were full with money. I got too busy and never made it over at that point but the virus had been planted. Actually I have had the fever for 30 years dating back to high school where I had a Filipino girlfriend that rocked my world. Fast forward to 2006, bored with life, I made the pilgrimage to Bangkok. Thus ensued a fantasy filled couple of years with about 10 visits, 2 sponsorships, 1 ring, 1 car, and one narrow escape from certain future disaster.
I perused Stickman’s site over the years previous to my visit but never really grasped the totality of the P4P scene with all the good / bad girl, sponsorship, marriage, etc. aspects.
So the first night when I got to Bangkok at about midnight I dropped my bags and went straight to Big Dogs in Nana. There of course I met the love of my life (or so I thought at that moment). I ended up crying about this girl when we broke up about 3 days into my first trip. What a total newbie. She ended up having a bad temper when drunk. At least I was smart enough to notice there was plenty more tail running around. From there I proceeded to plough through close to 100 girls and a lot of drinking and partying over the next 2 years.
At one point in this two years I started getting serious about Thailand. I started thinking about getting serious with a girl, learned how to speak some Thai, tried to figure out if I could swing the lifestyle between US / Thailand, all while keeping my US job / house, and still being a good father to my daughters. I racked my brain and it tormented me. I started skating on thin ice at work with all of the travel time and my-ex wife had gotten wind of my exploits and was giving me hell. I knew it was impossible but I was hooked. The first girl I sponsored was a nice girl, of course beautiful, only been in the business a short time. I moved her to a new apartment and supported her for about 9 months. I made a few visits to Bangkok and she was the only girl I saw during the visit (very difficult). I stayed in her room, we went to Pattaya, met her grandparents / aunts. It was fun. But I got cold feet about moving forward with the next step, marriage. Eventually I stopped sponsorship. I saw her a few visits later. She was back working and I am surprised she didn’t castrate me at first sight.
But from there I met another girl, Ta from Isaan, who I sponsored. I was hooked again. But this one was more expensive and well worth it. Made the visits to Isaan, met the family, stayed at their house for a few days a few times. It was a great experience waking up to the roosters, eating the food, drinking the Thai whiskey, communicating with the people, going to the temple, going to a funeral, going to the festivals, riding the motor scooter, being the centre of attention, being the benefactor, etc.. I cherish all of the memories.
With Ta I got all of the standard money scams or needs thrown at me. Let’s see…mother needs operation, Ta needs operation, father needs new tuktuk, little sister needs school, Ta needs car, Ta needs engagement ring, needs braces, needs boob job (Ta was already a natural full C and I don’t need more than that), suckered into paying for the entire trip for an entourage of Thai relatives / friends etc… This was starting to get expensive. I gave her a ring and a car on my last visit to Bangkok. What a sucker. That was my last visit to Bangkok and the last time I have communicated with anyone in the country. I heard later that she sold the car and bought her family a house.
I was saved from all of this madness though and my Thailand fantasy trip was put on hold. Not because I was smart enough to get myself out of it. But because in early 2008 my ex-wife died abruptly. This left me sole caretaker to my 12 and 13 year old daughters. Now that I could not travel to Thailand at a whim I immediately dropped Ta’s sponsorship and went into hiding from being contacted from Thailand. Still to this date, two years later, I get the calls at the end of the month from Thailand. I just ignore them.
Fast forward to today, January 2010. Daughters are now 14 and 15 and are well adjusted. Everything is going well at work, riding out the economy downturn unscathed, back to being bored with life, trying to stay healthy, have a lot more money without an ex-wife to support and no sponsorships. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel in 3 – 5 years as my daughters will require less close supervision and I can travel again. In the meantime I live vicariously through Stickman’s site. I still have the bug. But the next time I get to go back to Thailand I promise to keep my wits about me. Who needs all of that aggravation of being tied down in a foreign country? It’s a fantasy, one that I would love to live out, but better left untouched. I will just stick to pure mongering.
I know this article isn’t filled with the funny wit seen in other posts. I really do enjoy reading everyone's submissions. My experience is probably typical. But I hope it will add something to the collective good of the community. I have also travelled to Costa Rica and Amsterdam for mongering but they don't hold a candle to Thailand. I would like to get to the Philippines one day. I have vivid and fond memories of Thailand and I will be back one day.
You've travelled a very well-trodden path – and you did well to get out of it when you did. A lot of guys end up losing much more than a bit of money.