Not About Morality — We’re Losing a WAR
The recent discussion on morality of Farang-oriented prostitution in Thailand was animated and interesting, but misguided.
Obviously, most of the girls are damaged by work in the prostitution industry. It may be their free choice, due to the lack of options. Many may get out undamaged, some making huge amounts of money (by local standards) in the process. None of this changes
the big picture. Farang mongers are not directly or personally culpable for this, but every single drink or barfine is contributing to the industry, and so can be loosely labeled as “immoral”.
Of course, there are far worse occupations than being a bargirl. The Farang bar scene is a small part of overall prostitution that goes on in Thailand, and some of the hidden stuff is much uglier. None of this makes the Farang industry or the customer’s
part in it moral, or a shining paragon of virtue.
All the morality talk misses the broader picture. Western men are losing a WAR. The war is colloquially known as “the battle of the sexes”, whose significance and consequences are greatly understated.
Since the dawn of time, resources (money, food, furs, lodging) have flowed from men to women. This is normal, and due to our biological makeup, and is not a social arrangement. Men provide food and shelter, and women give them a chance at an offspring.
Supply of sex is limited, and controlled by women.
To address this imbalance, in most societies and times, men have controlled politics, law, production and wealth. Women were relatively sheltered and confined to their maternal and household duties. While not equal, it would be difficult to argue that
the lot of women was worse than lot of comparable men at the time – they did not fight wars or do the dirtiest jobs, often not working at all.
In most western societies, 20th century brought huge changes. Women now have more rights than men within the legal system. This is obvious in areas of divorce (assets, alimony, child- support), custody, employment policies (quotas) and even matters of
criminal law (lenient sentencing). Within western culture, the prevalent attitude is that women can do no wrong (and if they do, it’s not their fault), and men are dirty pigs. In Hollywood movies,
the scene when a girl puts down or slaps a boy (for little or no reason) mostly meets approval and cheerful laughter by the audience. The examples of inequality and injustice are numerous and beyond scope
of this article – see The Manipulated Man by Esther Vilar.
I’m not opposed to equal opportunities for women. The injustice is that western women receive massive wealth from men and now have equal (or better) opportunities, yet still
complain and continue to gain ground. Why are 80% of CEOs men? Because 90% of the women would rather marry a CEO than work to become one.
Women clearly won the war in the west.
Prostitution and Supply of Sex
The key lever that women have over men is supply and rationing of sex.
Upon winning the war, western women set out to heavily restrict the supply. While prior to mid-20th century prostitution was rampant in western societies, it is currently on the fringe, often criminalized and almost non-existent.
Motive behind this is not to protect the girls – in fact the girls who end up doing this work would benefit from legalization and less stigma. It
is mostly to restrict the supply of sex.
In America, even a young, educated and desirable man has to put up with a ton of bullshit, and waste significant time and money for an uncertain chance at getting laid. Older and less attractive ones don’t have much of a chance at all. Most men,
given the option of a guilt-free, inexpensive shag with a clean and cheerful working girl, would not be willing to part with much time and money for the benefit of average, boring
To find a woman and avoid being lonely in the west, I believe a man must accept the drudgery, embrace and enjoy their chains. A man can learn to be blind to his predicament, withholding of sex and lack of options… until in the wife leaves him taking
all that he worked for, and leaves him doomed: middle-aged, spent, and rather unattractive to women.
Men do not like admitting they’re losers in a war, but evidence is clear – thousands of refugees washed up on the shores of Pattaya.
War of the sexes was lost for men in the west.
In numerous other societies, men still continue to hold their own. In almost all of East Asia, women have more opportunities than before (which is good), but do not control the pussy supply as tightly, and do not have the legal and cultural upper hand
they do in the west.
Unfortunately, most of these countries do not accept refugees, often out of crude xenophobia, but also out of reasonable fear that their reputation would suffer.
Korea used to be a great place for buying sex. Seoul still has a number of massive red light districts with hundreds of sex workers sitting in windows. When a group of Koreans pass, it’s all smiles, waves and coos. When they see a rare white face,
each single one looks away. Ones that would reluctantly go with westerners, at any price, are few and far between. I have never been to Japan, but
hear that the sex scene is huge (if expensive), and even less accessible to westerners.
However, Thailand and the Philippines are rare two countries in the world that happily accept and cater to the thousands of lonely and undersexed men escaping the pussy drought of their home countries. Refugees are offered not only a chance to recuperate
and short-time comfort, but also permanent settlement. Thailand has the advantage that Farang men can pretend to genuinely enjoy the culture, food
and temples, and to make a reasonable living (often by teaching). Philippines pretty much requires them to admit they’re losers.
Industry Affects All Men, Not Only Mongers
We’re not all mongers. A fair percentage of western men who live and regularly in Thailand do not regularly visit prostitutes, even if they once paid a barfine or thirty. Some prefer to skim the nightlife, drink and observe. Others never even venture
to the naughty nightlife areas, and only go out with regular girls. However, very few men live in or regularly visit Thailand to admire
the temples and advance their careers — it’s fair to say easy availability of girls was a major factor (if not the top one) in
the decision to move.
Even without partaking, just knowing that men have a guaranteed option of spending a few hours and bedding a decent bargirl for not much money changes the game between the sexes. No need to put up with boring dates, no need to cling on to substandard
girlfriends. Men gain the freedom to focus their courting efforts on girls who seem truly worthwhile (and an incentive to girls to
Inevitably, supply of pussy is diminishing; prices are going up; attitudes souring. Decline and fall of Farang-oriented prostitution industry will affect all men (with interest in women), not just the direct participants. As an effect, good girls will
also become more fussy and increasingly difficult to get. Not to mention, as we grow older, our options are not getting better.
Of course, those with a low sex drive, who don’t care much for chasing women, or who are happily married with no desire to stray will be mostly unaffected. They would fit in fine back in the West as well.
I suspect, however, that for most Farang expats or frequent visitors, Thailand is the last pocket of freedom and resistance, offering a shot at happiness for the refugees from the war of the sexes.
You make some valid points. For sure, things will get worse in Thailand and we've been seeing that for a while now with the souring attitudes both in and outside of the industry.