Stickman Readers' Submissions January 8th, 2010

Maslow’s Triangle And Its Relation To Thailand

Hi All

I was entranced by the recent article about Bruffault's law (as a reminder that male / female relationships are mainly about what the female can get out of it e.g. needs disguised as love).

He Clinic Bangkok

I have read a lot about your readers' exploits and failures in relationships with Thai people (ladies mainly) and have several long ago similar experiences.

Well if you take a couple of minutes to wiki "Maslow triangle" you will have a diagrammatic explanation of why things go wrong all the time.

I don't claim to be an expert in the triangle, but if you study it carefully it is pretty easy to understand and see why it works.

CBD bangkok

I try to paint the picture in layman's language.

The triangle is pointing upward, split into 5 segments of equal thickness. In those segments are labelled "levels", namely:

1. at the bottom => physiological (most basic needs e.g. food, sex, sleep, water, and funnily enough excretion etc)
2. next up => safety (security, jobs, property, money, the family unit)
3. next up => love and belonging
(immediate family, friends, intimacy etc)
4. next up => esteem (confidence, respect, achievement, self worth)
5. at the top pointy bit => self actualization (morality, creativity, acceptance of facts, absence of prejudice, spontaneity)

Let's take some examples

wonderland clinic

1. chimpanzee => I think we all could agree that they would be near level 1, perhaps the leader of the group would be near level 2

2. a Cambodian beggar on the street of BKK => probably at level 1 also

3. a basic Thai farm worker/ family in Isaan = probably at level 1 also, perhaps some better off ones near level 2, (source of most of the young nubile)

4. a Thai policeman / lower govt worker => probably at level 2 or beginning level 3

5. a Thai manager probably level 3 and overlapping to level 4 on occasion

6. who can ever say they met a Thai at level 5???

So what does that mean for your readers?

If we overlay the positioning of the average farang they will usually be starting at 2 levels higher than their corresponding Thai folk.

Consequently can you see that there will be hardly ever be a meeting of minds (however Bruffault's law of marrying / relating upwards will come into full force, based on needs disguised as love).

Now other articles have claimed that often the average farang in the street, would not themselves be very high on the scale and they are often broken men and can never get past level 2 or max 3 as they shun intimacy, true friendship and have
no longer any immediate family.

I think that everyone should sit back and realistically position themselves on the scale and with some introspection try to see how they can move up half a notch. Once you have got to level 5 and you are able to stop denigrating the locals
and go with the flow you will feel and be a better man, and guess what you just might make a few real friends and find a true relationship

Now Maslow's triangle is limited to mind status and gives us poor fellows no guidance of the inner workings of the female mind.

The Caveman recently provided an enlightening article about his point of view of that get a lady turned on / stabilisied and it makes a good read you can
see it here.

I would surmise that however good that article is, it covers mainly male oriented thinking and doesn't try to delve into the murky depths of the female mind.

I recently had the opportunity to see a play based on the book of Mr. Gray (Mars / Venus) of which I had read several years ago and been largely forgotten. It was played out well and proved enlightening in a few words what many of the non-lesbian
girls are seeking as follows:

· men who think proactively e.g. guess what will make the girl happy e.g. attentive / listening / guessing.

· men who can do more than one thing at a time e.g. multi tasking (freaking difficult that one).

· men who listen to their problems but don't try to solve them e.g. empathy.

· men who are open about their feelings and talk openly.

· men who pay compliments / small gifts.

· non sexual hugs and kisses (that's a bummer).

· men who provide support (e.g. most of the above) when the women are becoming increasingly irrational on the downward slope leading up to their monthly period.

· men who try to do different things in bed e.g. not always steps 1234 but maybe 4321 etc.

· of course if you are expert in all these things you may be on the way to becoming a ladyboy so don't overdo it.

Of course I do not try to pretend that a well damaged relationship can be repaired by this, it would only improve things from a healthy base.

I would suspect that many of these things would also help with Thai ladies, who according to Maslow's triangle are the right level to fit your expectations.

News year's resolution : Try these out and see how your life improves!

Stickman's thoughts:

It's a long time since I studied Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I can remember the basic principles but not the detail so prefer not to say too much here. I know there are certain tests out of the West, such as IQ tests, which apparently are apparently culturally biased and a Westerner should do better than someone from a less developed country. I just cannot help but wonder if there is a similar bias with Maslow's theory?

nana plaza