Marriage With A Traditional Girl Part 1
After falling in love with Thailand and its people as most newbies seem to do, until the obvious cracks in things Thai start to surface inevitably, I decided I would marry a Thai girl.
I had had the inevitable gogo bar girlfriend with all its inherent problems, and being wiser and forever grateful for the lessons learnt at luckily minimal cost, I thought for me its a girl outside the p4p industry for marriage.
How to crack that scene? was the challenge I faced. Language I believed was the key, so to Becker's books, efforts made on night shifts at work at reading and writing Thai language. Old hands and all advice pointed towards forgetting the Thaiglish and bargirl words and expressions we all hear when we start our adventures in Thailand. People don’t realize how readily you lose face by using those words,. I really dislike hearing those words and expressions now and it's so annoying to hear Westerners speak Thaiglish like semi literate children.
I desired a country girl, not from the baan nog (I need Tesco close by), but close to a provincial city, a girl from a middle class background or as close to its Thai equivalent. So for sure Thai language skills would be paramount, unless by some miracle she worked in a industry and she mixed with many English speakers without being p4p.
So to the internet I went. I did not meet my future wife there. I met her first cousin, precocious, intelligent, university educated and internet dating savvy.
We talked for about one year on the internet. (I was still making trips to tourist Thailand during this time). She improved my perspective on so many things Thai all the while she was waiting for her American to come and marry her, which he did at a later date. Never did anything approaching her and I as couple was discussed. I was happy just to be part of what was going on in her life.
She invited me to her house to visit when I was next in Thailand so I could meet her and her family, the invite to the “real” Thailand was most gratefully accepted. To a village (more like a suburb) 10 kilometres from the provincial capital, I went fully expecting the warm welcome I was promised, and the trip did not let me down. Fantastic, no strings attached being with real people in Thailand. Yes, the cousin was savvy, but her family and those of her two vastly different cousins (who seemed to be in ever present proximity), spoilt me so much. I stayed at hotel in the city, and every time I wanted to come out to the house, someone from the extended family came to collect me.
For sure one of her two first cousins was being aimed in my direction for a relationship / marriage. One was at university and the other worked at the Tesco complex. The university girl was very sexy with flirtatious eyes (*red alert* she would look me in the face), stunning to look at, and perhaps a dream for me (Bangkok top earner gogo looks for sure).
The other was quiet, vocational college qualified and so petite and so lieb loy. She glided about the house and I was smitten with her. She was the girl from books you read about.
Communication at times was difficult, but we got there, helping the two at university with their English language speech presentations (I would put the level at about grade 7 standard English) took up considerable time, but they both got excellent reports from my and their efforts. The lieb loy cousin sat watching, listening and being the gopher.
I was asked by my internet friend which of her cousins I would be most interested in if I thought of a relationship with one of them. Yes, I knew the setup was on, but it opened my way into finding a non-p4p girl, and plus I had a lot of interaction with both of these girls.
I said the university cousin was beautiful in so many ways, and the lieb loy girl cute and so gentle. The internet girl said to me in a firm way that her uni cousin was not the girl for me. She had had boyfriends before (which I knew) and was not a virgin, so lieb loy seemed to fit the bill, a virgin and long term partner material was her opinion.
I have no problem with those with ex bargirl girlfriends and wives or girls who have had relationships before, but for me, I wanted a girl without that baggage.
I declared my interest by talking to the quiet cousin more on the internet when I returned home. The savvy cousin said I must ask the quiet girl’s father if he permitted her to do that, a simple request you would think.
But it was not simple, it was like a formal interview. Her father, mother, sister and policeman brother in law were in attendance. Her father was skeptical of farangs. He was a policeman for over 30 years as was his father. He had arrested a farang sex offender in the past and had worked with Americans during the Vietnam War. He was so protective of his daughter so I knew his word was law on everything about her.
My background is military and now in justice so it seemed that was an acceptable background to him and he gave us permission to talk to each other on the internet.
So I returned home after my best trip to Thailand, to continue a relationship via the internet with a girl, who was still a mystery to me.
Sounds like a very conservative family indeed – which frankly I believe is EXACTLY the sort one wants to marry into.