Readers' Submissions

Itchy Scratchy Private Parts

  • Written by The Yobbo
  • January 1st, 2010
  • 8 min read


Well now;

The Submission from Sawadee2000 “Dr. Hackenbrush I presume?” 31/8/2009 got me thinking that this might make an interesting and amusing little sub. The medical condition in question is nothing like as serious as that faced by S2000 but may give some minor insight into Thai medical practice. I’ll start with my first correspondence with Stick (Mrs. Stick).

Dear Mrs. Stick,

Can you help with information on medication for the treatment of vaginal thrush (Candidiasis) that is available in Thailand? In Australia there is medication called “DiFLUCAN” with the generic name of “Fluconazole” that is available over the counter at any pharmacy. It is a single capsule which is taken orally and kills off the thrush and all symptoms in about 24-48 hours. If you do know of any such medication could you kindly provide the local name, and if possible, in English and Thai script. This medication would be of great help to the women of my wife’s village as it is not known there. Also apparently, not known to the local doctors either as they constantly provide antibiotics to treat the symptoms of thrush regardless of the fact that antibiotics actually causes and inflames the condition.

I just checked out your question for the Mrs. and that is way beyond
her level of knowledge. That question is probably better directed at
a doctor or a pharmacist. Sorry she cannot help.

Stick

These pharmacy treatments such as the capsule and the cream are actually advertised on TV here in Australia. They are available over the counter without prescription.

Ever had Thrush? Great fun is it not?

I am very susceptible to it myself. There are a few easy ways for a male to cure himself of thrush that I have found effective:

#1. Spend a good amount of time with a beverage or two and some reading material in a heavily chlorinated swimming pool (read- go to Pattaya)

#2. Get a beverage or two and some reading material, find a nice secluded spot and let the little fella hang out in the sun for a while – (my farther put me on to that one, maybe my susceptibility is hereditary).

#3. Use Canesten cream.

I recently asked the tiny teerak how a woman might go about cure #2 and she gave a brief demonstration and we mutually decided that this was not a practical solution for the female of our species. (Although I would love to see a girl try it, could be a new act down Walking Street with punters paying to apply the sun screen)

Back to the point of this sub….

When my 2nd wife (Asian) first stayed with me in Australia I bullied her into taking the pill, she preferred condoms and withdrawal method but I was having none of that. It was after this that thrush started to become an issue, probably due to the pill. It was not until she arrived in Oz with a spouse visa and a government health care card, and me bullying her once again, to have the government sponsored PAP test, that the ignorance of thrush all came to light. I saw the hand written note from her doctor stating that “THIS IS NOT AN STD” and prescribing Canesten with internal applicators (a bit messy). She promptly stated that the doctors in her home country were “crazy”. She had been repeatedly prescribed antibiotics to treat the condition *see above*. She had spent the previous 18 months believing that I might have given her an STD.

Earlier this year (2009), prior to a LOS trip to stay with Tiny T’, I had a nasty case of bronchitis for which I was prescribed some serious antibiotics. Amongst other nasty side effects, the antibiotics caused me to get a good dose of thrush. The little fella was not looking so go good and I was worried that Tiny T’ might jump to conclusions which may have reduced her willingness to entertain the little fella. Prior to my departure I had been going with cure #3 for all I was worth but was unable to find an opportunity for cure #2. I knew that I would have a couple of days in Pattaya on legitimate business before going up-country and would give cure #1 a go in the hotel swimming pool. As a back up contingency I brought along a supply of Canesten and a DiFLUCAN capsule from OZ in case everything went strawberry shaped.

Upon arrival in the village I decided to go for the honest approach and explained as best as I could to Tiny T’ about my condition. The little fella was well on the mend by this stage courtesy of the hotel pool, that amount of chlorine will kill anything, which is comforting to know when using Pattaya hotel pools. All I can suggest in regards to Pattaya hotel beds is to get drunk and don’t think too much.

Tiny T’ was aware of the thrush condition and described it as “white color coming out” and “itchy too much”. If there is a Thai name for thrush I do dot know it, and don’t believe I have ever heard it in polite conversation – or rude conversation for that matter. If any reader can provide the Thai name for thrush it would be greatly appreciated.

Tiny T’ took me at my word as she almost always does (or so I thought at the time), and my little fella was entertained with all the usual dedication and enthusiasm.

The Pattaya chlorine must have done the trick, we had no thrush and everything was fine. I left all the medication in Thailand at the request of Tiny T’, I saw no point in taking it home as I could always get more and it is not expensive, one less thing to pack in the suitcase.

It has become apparent to me that Thai women do discuss these things, amongst themselves at least, and the women folk of Tiny T’s village also believe that they know what causes vaginal thrush (see below).

Recently while Tiny T’ was staying with me in Australia I asked her about the thrush capsule that I had left with her in Thailand. She informed me that she had given it to her mother. “WTF ??” I asked. Turns out that Tiny T’s mother had a serious case of “white color coming out” and “itchy too much”. Mum had been to three different 30 Baht clinics and been given the magic cure-all-candy (antibiotics) at each one of them. It is not surprising that when Tiny T’ mentioned that she had this magic farang capsule her mother gobbled it down out of desperation and without hesitation, and hey what! The next day Mum’s problems were all cured, “maybe those farang do know a thing or two”

Due to my previous experience I was still worried that Tiny T’ might be thinking that this vaginal thrush was some kind of STD so I asked her how her mother had got thrush. She replied “She got it from my father”. Yeah ok, but how then did your father get it? I should add that Tiny T’s father is a well respected man who values his honor and integrity (face) far more than he values his material possessions and is much like the traditional Thai as described by Stick. “9 August 2009 Is The Classic Traditional Thai A Dying Breed? So philandering and butterflying are beyond question (or so they assume).

“So how did the revered father get the thrush?” I enquired. “Maybe he don’t get shower” was the answer. Ah-ha, maybe we are onto something here.

I have noticed that Thai women are just as fussy in the personal hygiene department with Thai men as they are with Farang. I have been an observer on many occasions when impromptu village/family gatherings occur. Such gatherings are quite frequent when there is an ample supply of (MY) beer. The size and duration usually depends upon the quantity of (MY) beer that is available, I can’t begin to speculate as to how this information is dispersed amongst the villagers, but without fail, they know if I have purchased a box or two.

The men folk sit around chatting and drinking (MY) beer with the women folk sitting close by, also drinking (MY) beer and emitting noises that sound like a bunch of disgruntled quacking ducks. My Thai language skills may be poor but I know the sound made by a woman who has a grievance with a husband. I often enquire of Tiny T’ as to the topic of the female conversation and why a particular lady has that pissed-off sound in her voice. All too frequently I am told “she angry coz her husband don’t get shower”.

Maybe, just maybe, I might have stumbled upon one of the possible reasons why a Thai lady will insist on a shower before every round of boom boom or are otherwise fastidious in the personal hygiene department. A mate of mine who has a Thai wife, gauges the climate of his marriage by how many “extra” showers he has per day. Nobody wants to sleep with a partner that smells, and poor hygiene can cause thrush, but five showers in a day? When all you have done between innings is watch TV in 18 degrees Celsius? It makes me wonder.

Tiny T’ has taken a DiFlucan capsule back with her to the village but, despite being offered THB250, it is being saved for an “itchy scratchy” day.

The Yobbo

Stickman's thoughts:

Nicely put together.

For me, I don't swim in hotel pools anyway….but if I did, you probably would have put me off.

The way many Thai clinics dispense a bunch of different antibiotics and Paracetamol for many conditions is appalling.