A Women’s Perspective

It's about time I wrote and contributed to Stickman. I have enjoyed all the many submissions and Stick’s weekly columns for a number of years now. And Bangkok Steve’s In Focus too.

There is a real allure to South East Asia – a magic to the people, an incredible energy and vibe, exotic and other interesting smells, thick air, warm humid weather, to the westerner confusing and alien cultures, languages and sights, terrific tasty food and, well, just the whole damn thing. Asia is so bloody crazy!!! And chaotic!!! And absolutely fascinating. Whenever I return from Asia back to Australia, I think Oz is clean and safe and a very easy place to live, but in comparison a bit boring too.

Over the last 10 years my wife and I have travelled a bit through Indonesia, Malaysia, Vietnam and Thailand. I’ve also spent some time in the Philippines and Thailand as a young man in the 70s. (Hopefully I will write some stuff about my experiences then at later times – jeez I was young and innocent then).

Oh, I forgot, the girls, stupid!!! There is just plain magic about petite Asian girls that is inescapable. Asian girls are stunning and for western men in particular they are additionally attractive, because they look different to what we are used too. Girls should of course be a fascinating topic for any man with a beating heart and a bit of passion and zest. Girls, good food, restful sleep, no guilt and some adventure, right?

I have become really intrigued about the current debate of the morality of the Thai bargirl “industry” and really enjoyed the contributions from Korski, Nimrod, Rahiri, Caveman, Mark Holt and BKKSW to name a few. I’ve recognised and appreciated the arguments from all their submissions. Indulge me while I just comment on the notion of morality before I present my wife’s take on the bargirls and the “industry”.

I reckon human relationships and activities are a lot about power. Those with the power tend to set the morals, or boundaries. This has been true throughout history and the saying that the victors of wars write the history is a good illustration. Never mind the truth. Hitler figured the Jews were sub-human to justify his crimes against them. Now work this out, today the Israelis think the same about the Palestinians and don’t mind the odd bit of slaughter and subjugation. How screwed is that??? So boundaries can be mighty fluid depending on who has the power. Life is neither fair nor equitable, and there are countless examples of man’s inhumanity to his fellow man.

Bt the way, buggered if I know who has the power in the context of the Thai sex scene because I don’t have enough personal experience and submissions I have read on the subject offer differing opinions.

You’d hope that the basis of all religions…. to do unto others as you expect others to do unto you…. is not a bad basis to begin with any notion of morality? Not to consciously set out to hurt or damage others is no brainer. You don’t have to be blind Freddy to have not noticed that people pull all sorts of shit on one another and can generally justify doing it. Always has been so and as part of the human condition so it will always be.

So I just don’t see how the notion of morality fits with human beings. I’m confused. Someone explain it to me. Fact: people will do anything to get what they want. My post to this point is probably as clear as mud and now I know why this is my first submission! This writing caper is not easy. Anyway, onward and upward!

So in terms of the current hot topic on Stick about prostitution I asked my wife what she thought. I know she talks sense, being a smart and beautiful woman, after all!! Does prostitution damage the girls? Every job she reckons has the potential for that. Mine sucked big time and near killed me and I now live with all manner of resulting crap and major damage. Wouldn’t in retrospect have minded screwing women for a living!!! Dream on!

My wife said the demand has always existed for the sale of sex by women. There’s a market for it because men are well, men, and so what’s surprising about this in free-wheeling opportunistic capitalist economies that everyone wants to live in? In the scheme of things she reckons this issue is no big deal. So what if a girl sells her body to earn a living? Doesn’t mean there are not bad things associated with the industry, obviously.

Is it moral for mongers to use the services of bargirls? Here she reckons that prostitution is just another service industry and as in every service exchange both parties should treat the other honestly and with respect. If the girl doesn’t want to provide the service she wouldn’t do it. The girl isn’t forced to provide sex for money; it is rather a conscious decision which is maybe driven by all sorts of reasons, obviously not all positive reasons either. The monger however has an obligation to respect the girl and treat her well.

Given the market exists, and in Thailand has a long history apart from catering to the western male, where does morality come into it? It’s just sex for money, a service, that for various reasons including our western sensibility shaped by Christian ideas, that makes many of us big nose whiteys decidedly uncomfortable. I know my wife would come after me, not for availing myself of the sexual or massage services of a beautiful young Thai girl, but for treating her badly with a lack of respect or discourtesy. My wife agrees with Korski, get over it.

See what my wife reckons is that there is so much immorality in the world today that this prostitution question doesn’t really rate. When war can be made on the basis of lies as in Iraq and Afghanistan, where the earth’s environment can be raped and compromised, where genocide occurs, where fanatics in the name of religion can bomb innocent people, where despots can thrive so long as they are backed by the right side, where religions generate hatred and mistrust and where the policies of governments, the UN, IMF and giant multi-national corporations enslave the ordinary punter and maintain the inequities of the people of both developed and developing nations, then please tell me where is the big picture morality in that???

I realise that this may seem like an over-simplification, but most arguments or opinions necessarily are. My own take on this question is the same as my wife. Somehow the subject of prostitution and the morality of it make a lot of people very uncomfortable. Rather everyone should be very uncomfortable about the big picture immorality as described above, jump up and down about that and seek at the very least to treat others with honesty and respect. Thanks for reading this far and cheers.