What Do YOU Expect?
In scanning the latest readers' submissions I fell upon “Are You Considering a Relationship with a Thai Partner?”
This submission is a conglomeration of relationships gone (for the most part) bad. I contest “you reap what you sow” and “get what you pay for”. I view it as just another group of gentlemen that receive exactly
what they deserve – sorry if I seem so callous – I view myself as honest and realistic. There are good and bad Thai ladies – same as good and bad western woman. To make things worse, many a man marry or date a woman that has had more in
her than all the rice grown in Asia. This of course leads to her low self esteem equivalent to the quarter size of a chili pepper seed and then the lucky man expects marital bliss?
I visited Thailand dozens of times before I finally figured things out and made a concerted effort of locating the “lady of my dreams”. I dated or better termed “rented” (even though they were nice “ladies”, many of them were more interested in what I could do for them rather than what we could do for us – these were not ladies of the night or shall I say they did not make it apparent) several young ladies through a respected dating service but seemed to get nowhere other than gain experience. This experience led me to the fact that Thai woman are not that far off from Western woman other than the fact they may be more in need of money than their western counterparts unless they are educated and self sufficient (believe it or not this does exist in Thailand). This need leads them to appear easier, but quite honestly I have found western woman quicker than a speeding bullet – they just hide it better.
All of this led me to develop a list of exactly what I was seeking in a woman. To simplify – it is no different than buying a car. What features do you desire ranking them by level of importance. For myself I did not want a clingy lady that watched my every move. I wanted someone that possessed the self esteem to trust in me as I would feel comfortable doing the same for her. I wanted a lady that contributed to our mutual goals, both financial and emotional.
I understand that many men have successful relationships with bar girls and freelancers but is this really the best place to locate your future partner? I set my standards very high. Not in the sense of appearance (physical beauty) but rather in her understanding of western culture. Further, she must have mastered the English language, preferably (no – absolutely) have graduated from a western university, and have a job in a large company (western owned and operated) with a fair amount a responsibility and experience and doing so successfully.
I determined (or hoped) that she would have still retained her view towards how to treat her man as founded within the Thai culture; I did not want a sex slave, “yes woman”, but rather someone that would successfully survive on her own. Again, this is a reality in Thailand. Many men view all Thai woman in the same light which is very wrong (meaning incorrect). My wife graduated from Chulalongkorn University, then received her MBA in the US. She then found a job with a western firm in Thailand (NOTE: not an Asian firm as that would most likely not provide her the same opportunity to advance). She is not an oddity but what I would define as a Thai lady who has learned what it takes to not only survive, but to actually thrive. There are many such ladies and these are the only ones I would consider as a partner.
I must have dated over 50 woman before I finally found my beautiful lady. She is employed by me, in my company as a purchasing manager (her previous position with several western companies) and does so with the same or greater proficiency as any of her western counterparts. I regard her as a key employee, one that actually contributes beyond the minimum responsibility.
She is beautiful in every sense of the word and very capable in her new environment (we live and work in the USA). I travel quite a bit and she accompanies me wherever I go. She is my very best friend and short of some small hiccups everything has been perfect now for over 5-6 years.
An interesting point is that she manages her own money and me mine. I pay 80% of the bills and she is responsible for the remainder, as well as sending money to her parents.
I honestly don’t understand where or how so many men have multiple problems with Thai woman. I guess you get what you ask (or look) for. Human nature is always to seek the path of least resistance and apparently is no different when seeking out your future partner/wife.
Oh well – I wish you all the best but for me I am perfectly satisfied and happy. There are many, many wonderful Thai ladies that seek the same in a man. Why settle for less when there are so many beautiful woman available and waiting for that perfect man. I (we) have no less than a dozen girlfriends that all fit the mold I have described – the problem is they all work very hard to make something of themselves and are not found in bars.
Best to all and good luck.
I think many who have problems down the track rushed in to things and did not take their time nor set the bar very high. Further, I think a lot of guys do a Tiger Woods and just cannot keep it in their pants. OK, if you're going to play around, at least be discrete about it.