Stickman Readers' Submissions December 2nd, 2009

It’s No Fun Being A Loser

Good to see you admit it at last. That some of us just do not have what it takes to meet a GTG. I am referring to the submission by BKKSW on 18/11/2009, and your comments to it.

I have seen countless submissions where people wonder why anyone gets involved with a bargirl when there are so many GTGs available in Thailand. The reason is simple, some of us just aren't good enough for regular women. If no woman
in our own country can find us interesting, it is highly unlikely that any woman in any country would. Smart losers realize this quickly, for others it can take a long time.

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Of course when a loser like myself comes to Thailand for the first time and suddenly finds that they are actually noticeable to women, he will forget that he is a loser that nobody can like. It is so easy to forget facts that are not
pleasant. Facing ugly truths is not fun at all, and it takes years to accept that one is an unattractive loser, and any indication to the contrary is just too easily accepted. The mind WANTS to accept a pleasant lie rather than the ugly truth.
I too learned the hard way that the professional girls in Thailand who pretend to like us do not really like us any more than the women in our own country. The only difference is that Thai girls have something to gain by pretending to like
us, but the women in our own country do not. I learned this lesson relatively cheaply, – I only lost about five million baht in my 4-year marriage, and did not end up with a child or alimony.

But we keep coming back anyway, simply because even false attraction is worth something when the real thing will never be available. Or maybe some hope lingers even when our rational minds know the truth. Emotions are stronger than reason,
or at least easier. Even after my failed marriage I still keep coming back to Thailand, and on every trip I end up liking someone. It is only by sheer force of will that I keep myself from hoping for a real relationship. I am polite enough
to not even try to meet GTGs, and what would be the point anyway?

You said in your comment at the end of BKKSW's post that "…taking a long hard look at yourself in the mirror and then trying to improve on things that are less than ideal."

Being unattractive is not something that can be "removed" from a person. Some people just are born losers and there is no way to change it. I have spent years trying to ask various people the reason why nobody has ever been
attracted to me, but nobody will actually tell me what is wrong with me. How could I even start to improve myself when I have no idea what is wrong? I understand that people are reluctant to say things that they think will offend me, but it's
just a bit unfair to shun people for some reason and not even tell them the reason. So the only logical conclusion is that it is not just me who doesn't know the reason, but that NO-ONE knows why some people just aren't interesting
to anyone. I am convinced that it is not possible to _make_ other people like you. Some people are liked and some are not. If you are unfortunate enough to be born as an unattractive and uninteresting person, all you can do is to learn to
live with it. There is no way to change that. And the learning process is anything but fun, and can take a long time. I have been learning to accept my hideousness for close to 40 years now, and still from time to time it is hard to accept.

I imagine that if I was not a loser, I would also like to ridicule us and label us as stupid for getting involved with bargirls over and over again. Being a loser is hard enough even without others shoveling more shit on us. Most of us
KNOW what we are, we are just coping with the situation as well as we can. What else is there to do? What would you do?

Stickman's thoughts:

I disagree entirely with your assertion that one cannot change the way they are. There are many things you can do, from getting a decent haircut, to washing more often, to buying more fashionable clothes to losing weight to….need I say more? – And that is just the physical side. I am sure any honest friends will point out what improvements could be made.

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