Readers' Submissions

Online Dating Experiences, Girls With Children Versus Girls Who Don’t Have Kids

  • Written by Harry J
  • November 14th, 2009
  • 9 min read


For about 2 years now I have had platinum membership on Thailovelinks.com and its famous Indonesian and Philippine equivalents IndonesianCupid.com and FilipinaHeart.com. The experiences I had with the girls on these 3 websites were so similar it is almost scary.

I am traveling a lot in Indonesia, Thailand and Philippines so it seemed like a good idea roughly 2 years ago to put a profile on these sites, especially given the positive things I hear from all the other guys who join these websites. So I put on a profile and sat back in happy anticipation. Now I would also drown in pussy, get 50 messages from gorgeous young Thai girls every day, would have at least 3 dates a day with new girls who would beg me to take them to my condo, would be given telephone numbers by at least 20 girls a day and asked to call them tonight etc. etc. etc.

Nothing like this happened. Initially when I just had put my paid membership profile online on the 3 mentioned websites I would get about 3 messages on average a day on Thailovelinks, about 5 per day on IndonesianCupid and about 6 per day on FilipinaHeart. This would continue for the first 3 months or so and after that the number of girls that would spontaneously send me a message would dry up till I would get about 1 message on average a week on each of the 3 websites.

I quickly noticed something about the girls who would initiate contact with me on Thailovelinks and on the other 2 websites. All of the girls who spontaneously tried to contact me were in their mid to late 30’s or early 40’s. All of them were NOT good-looking and I really mean that. There was not one pretty girl on all of the 3 websites who has till now send me a message. But the most interesting was that all of the girls save a very small percentage had kids. Another thing was that about 80% of the girls who send me messages did not have a profile picture.

Of course I did not only let girls send me messages but I also started to browse the 3 websites looking for nice girls who had the looks that I like. I am not into fat girls with kids. I also did not send messages to women who did not have profile pictures. The good thing about the 3 websites is that girls can tell their weight and height in their profile (of course they can lie about that). But anyway I only selected promising profiles, girls who claimed to be slim and who showed a nice profile picture and who did not have kids. So I send these girls messages.

The reply rate was downright disappointing though. On all the 3 websites only 1 out of 20 replied my welcome message and 80% would only reply me once, meaning my reply to their first reply would not be answered anymore. Because of this it took me a long time on all the 3 websites to build a bit of a stable of girls. After a year I was chatting with only 3 girls from Thailovelinks (the meagre result of sifting through profiles, sending hundreds of messages etc’) and these girls didn´t even want to meet me. Well I met one but she only wanted to talk. The same happened on IndonesianCupid and FilipinaHeart more or less. I got a little bit more response on the last one I have to say but the problem with the Pinay girls was that most just asked me for money sometimes on the first chat contact but often on the second or third so I could do nothing else than stop talking to them and delete them. The result on FilipinaHeart was therefore even worse then on Thailovelinks with months and months of sending messages, searching for new girls to send messages to etc resulted in 2 girls I chatted with and who promised to meet me. Nothing happened also when I met the Pinay girls, they did not want more than being offered a nice meal and drinks and a movie. IndonesianCupid was exact the same story as Thailovelinks, only one reply out of 20 messages and of the one who replied 80% not seriously interested in me.

One day in Thailand I met a guy and we started talking about internet dating. It turned out he was also a paying member of Thailovelinks. This guy was about 15 years older than me and told me he had met very many girls in Bangkok and Pattaya though Thailovelinks the last 7 months since he had joined the website. Nurses, 7-11 cashiers, accountants, lawyers, dentists, freelancers, bargirls, office girls, accountants, students etc etc etc. He had kept exact track of all the girls he had met through the website and he told me he even had a picture in his digital camera of all the Thailovelinks girls he had met. It turned out he had met 47 girls from Thailovelinks in the 7 months he had been a member and he had slept with 45 of them. When he showed me the pictures I was quite jealous, but I have to say not all of the girls he had met were my type. About 20 or so were young and pretty and very sexy but the other ones were either a bit older or had kids or were a bit overweight. But still he had done a lot better than me. After one year on Thailovelinks I had only managed to meet one girl who had not even been interested in me.

This guy could not explain my bad luck on Thailovelinks. The response I got belonged more to the ugly brother of the Indian Elephant man he said, but I am just as Caucasian as any white guy. He gave me the advice to lower my standards a bit and go for the women who had kids. Mind you, till now I had not replied to a single message from the girls who had first sent me a message because all of them had been below my specifications (them being not pretty, having kids, being overweight and old etc)

So I started to contact women and girls with kids. Of course I did not want the fat and old and ugly ones with kids but there were plenty of girls on Thailovelinks, IndonesianCupid and definitely FilipinaHeart who were young and slim and pretty but had kids. I noticed that there were especially a lot of young Pinay girls with kids. There is a limitless supply of 18 year old Pinay on FilipinaHeart with kids. Not that many on IndonesianCupid and even far less on Thailovelinks but you still can find 25 to 30 year old pretty and slim girls with kids on the last 2 websites.

The reply rate got better once I started sending messages to women and girls with kids. Granted most of the pretty and young ones would still not reply to me (it seems that young girls who are good looking but who have a kid are still getting enough attention) but with every 10 messages I send I would get about 3 replies. Another thing I noticed was that the girls with kids were a lot more eager to get to know me and a lot more serious about it. They would ask me to add them to Hotmail or Yahoo, they would ask me if I wanted to meet them, they would ask me if I wanted their telephone number, thing that were unheard of with the girls who did not have kids. Many of them would also be keen on chatting with me whenever I was online. Anyway I managed to meet some of them in The Philippines, Indonesia and Thailand and a few of the girls I met even wanted to go to my condo.

There is a big difference between the attitude of Asian girls who have kids compared to girls who have no kids. Women and girls with kids are very keen on meeting farang guys. They are not interested in how a guy looks but more interested in how much money he has or if he is a nice guy. Looks are not important for them. Asian girls who have no kids are a complete different species almost. Many of them only want to meet really handsome guys. They always go for the looks first and perhaps for the personality secondly. They are quite arrogant and very difficult to chat with and to meet.

We all know why this is of course. Girls without kids think they have more value than girls who have no kids, they also get a lot more attention both online and in the real world etc. Girls or women who have kids are a lot more serious I think about their online presence. I think a lot of them are genuinely looking for a provider for themselves and their kid(s). For them it is a lot more difficult to find a guy who can accept them, at least that is the way they feel. It is also a fact that women or girls who have kids are more seriously looking for a real boyfriend leading to marriage compared to girls (and even older girls) who don't have kids yet, the latter group is more often more interested in just playing.

Thai Dating, Singles and Personals

Stickman's thoughts:

I am afraid o say that I very much disagree with the point you're making here, and this is based on the experiences of close friends of mine who are heavy ThailLoveLinks, or TLL users. I will tell you about 3 people. One is a 54 year old American who is HUGE. by huge, I mean about 45 kg overweight. He has a ridiculous amount of success and last Songkran he met (read bedded 8 girls in 7 days) – and all were quire presentable. Another friend, a 52 year old American is average looking. He is wealthy but he does NOT let on to the girls about this and even when he gets them back to his sub-10,000 baht a month studio they have no idea he is worth a few million. He has 4 REALLY HOT girls on the go at the moment, all aged under 25 and none have kids. The last fellow is a mid-30s Brit who is, I guess it world be fair to say, average looking and cuddly – but he is a very nice guy, always with a pleasant demeanour. At last count he was heading for 100 for this calendar year. Then there is the regular writer who was the second most popular guy on TLL for a long, long time before he eventually stopped used it because he got over-sexed. He has an article coming on it.

I think the bottom line is that you're doing something wrong.