Stickman Readers' Submissions November 17th, 2009

Gotchas and Catchem

Folks in my past submission I told you about how I could find out that my so called "good girl" friend was cheating on me. I would like to share more of this information with you to help some of you who may be in the same boat.

Before I start, I want to say that there are good and bad people everywhere in this world and the intention is to weed out the bad ones to save yourself heartache and / or headache. It's up to you to use this information as it may suit
you. I am not making any claims that it will work and I am also not responsible for any damages that it may cause anyone.

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During my research I found a few types of major classes of deceptions:

1. Bar girls who ask for money to stay away from bar the but still keep working – as Stickman has mentioned many times, hiring a Personal Investigator is the best way to find out reality.
2. Girls who ask for money from you and from others
– New modus operandi could work
3. Girls who claim to love you and you are suspicious on claim – New modus operandi could work


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First of all, let's define the reasons that could make you suspicious. Your reasons may not be limited to specified situations. I am explaining these as per my experiences:

1. Response time – You may notice some delays in the responses. This could be due to some reasons like she may be at work and has to attend to it or something else. However, if you notice something out of the norm like she is chatting from
home and then there are frequent delays. This could raise some concerns. You may want to check it out. You will hear the reasons like network is slow etc.

2. Mood swings – You may notice certain changes in moods. She may also become jealous after hearing about your good time at the beach or some party or will ignore it or will become angry. Think about it, if she can't share your good
moments then how will she share the bad times? Throw in some litmus tests and try to tell her about something bad that may have happened to you. See how she reacts to this.

3. Money talk – She may remind you about her poverty and her inability to meet her expenses. Never provide a solution and see how far she takes it.

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4. Profiles – If you met on a dating site, then look at her profile to see if she still logs into these sites. This could mean that she is still out there hunting. MSN profile is another way to find out what's happening in her life.
Leave a note or two to show your undying love for her and wait for her reaction. Does she delete these notes? Try to use Google Translate.

5. Login times – What are her login times. Does she stick around till the bar times? Does she log off at the time of office closing time? Does she login after coming back home?


By now you would have established your concerns and have identified that she is not a "bar" girl. So, it's time for the acid test. Mind you, I did my previous homework before getting to this stage and you will go through all
this pain only if you are interested in a genuine relationship and want to weed out problematic ones in advance.

Setting up the trap:

Dating sites – If you met her on a dating site, then setup some additional profiles with some good photos. Your friends can help you with this by giving you their photos. You will need many of them to provide evidence. Caution – Many of these
dating sites look at your IP address for profile request. This means that you should create these profiles from a different location which use different IP addresses. Also, never use a webcam after you have established contact.

Other ways – If you met in some other way like Facebook or Myspace, then send Yahoo or MSN requests to add them as a friend and give some random reference. Trust me, it works in 98% of the time.

Create illusions – Now they have hooked onto many of your avatars. How to create an illusion that you are a different person? Look for some "Instant Messenger (IM)" tools on the web that allow you multiple logins. This way many
of your avatars can chat at the same time to provide an illusion that you are different people. You can also use separate laptops.

Personalities – Now let's talk about different avatars. You must create one profile of someone powerful, resourceful, strong, high-flyer and loaded. Others can be variants of this and finally it will be you. Keep your typing methods
different like one could use shortcut words, however stronger person will always use full forms and will use correct punctuation.

Now that the trap is set, you can play it your way and find out what they are really up to!!!

It may all sound too far fetched and ridiculous, but if you are really looking for real love then you may want to be sure. Results could vary from case to case.

AND MOST OF ALL, PLEASE TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT. If someone may not meet your criteria, then it's better to simply move away and leave them to their karma. PLEASE DO NOT ABUSE ANYONE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Power brings responsibility.
Please do not misuse it.

Thanks for reading my submission and all the best to all of those who can find love in LOS.

Stickman's thoughts:

While this advice is good, I think it is also potentially dangerous. Over the years I have received emails from readers and also spoken to a friend or two who checked up on a woman they had met online. Their sleuthing became too aggressive and they either found something that wasn't there or they created such a powerful profile of another guy that their girlfriend could not help but be interested in him!

I believe that it is best to go down this road ONLY when you are highly suspicious that something is going on. If you constantly check up on people it invariably has a negative effect on your relationship.

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