An Untypical Relationship
I stumbled upon your website by, well I don't remember how, I think just Googling looking for advice at the time. I have to admit it wasn't any help but it certainly was interesting.
Anyway, I'm 21 (was 20). I'm a uni student (third year now after one year doing work placement). My girlfriend is Thai and originally we met online. I never expected to meet someone online. I'd had an active pen pal world profile for a few months, for no real reason, and I randomly got a message from her. In the past I'd had a couple of girlfriends and met a few girls at Uni – nothing particular and I was getting fed up, so I guess you can't blame me for being interested in this mysterious girl talking to me online!
Anyway, we got talking online and hit it off basically. She's (now) 20, a Uni student over there (Silkaporn Uni). We chatted a lot, got friendly to each other, made each other smile a lot, and after a few months but before I knew it I was telling her I had a thing for her, and finding out the feeling was returned.
Had I read your website before, and seen the many readers' submissions, warning signs would've been flashing left, right and center here. But I hadn't. (And in this tale, it's a good thing that happened).
Anyway, she'd been in the USA for a few months in the Summer previously, working. Like me, she is full of big plans for things to do in the future. The next one was studying in China (Beijing) in the March – May Uni holiday. After the "problems" in December with the protests at the Bangkok airport, we decided that the first time we'd meet would be in Beijing when she was there.
So cut the long story short, this is 6 months after we first chatted, but we kept in touch a lot, and are crazy about each other.
I went to China (I had the money and spare time this year as I was on work placement…), and that was a nervous arrival. Would she be there? I hadn't found Stickman by this point, thank god, or I'd been afraid of so many more things. Read this sites' readers' submissions and you get the impression every Thai girl is out there to cheat you. But when I found this site, I was so amazed by this side of Thailand I never knew. Old people (sorry, but people at the average age of submitters here are old to me!! – I'm only young!!) finding incredibly young girlfriends? I'm not gonna comment but it seems crazy. But I've never (and won't) hit the bar scene in Pattaya so who knows what those girls are like?
But yes, she was there. I saw her. Then I was with her. Her friend was there of course (studying there with her) and met me too at that point. She was nice (we'd chatted a little bit before). But we'd decided she was going to stay in my apartment I'd rented for the trip (12 days or so) with me – which was probably a big decision for her (in fact from the things I remember she said it was quite a departure from what she'd usually do). But yeah, we stayed together in an apartment in Beijing. It was pretty amazing, to be concise. Everything you can imagine that a young couple would do happened. Our "love", which was before just something we'd felt for each other online/phone (and I'd be dubious about I guess) was real, it was the best 12 days, thousands of photos prove it! (We did go back to her Uni a few times, of course – for her lectures and what not.)
Leaving was freaking painful, but unsurprisingly I was back within a few weeks. To Hong Kong, precisely, as she was visiting there on the way back to BKK. More new places for me to visit (I love travelling, something which brings me closer to her).
It took 5 months for us to see each other again. We kept in touch online and much more since the visit, on the phone by then. I spent a lot of money on phone calls (but surprisingly cheap thanks to the DialAbroad service that lets you top it up then have essentially local-rate abroad calls).
Occasionally, because by now I'd read Stickman, I got a bit disenchanted. When she acted like she had no money, or complained her family wouldn't do X or Y, I got annoyed or depressed! But actually I realised that I should stop thinking the posts on Stickman applied to me, as our situation seemed quite different.
Her family are actually pretty, ridiculous. Saying this from a Western perspective anyway. They're very unimpressed with me, so I gather (her father is very open with the idea of modern, multi-cultural relationships.. her mother (separated) less so, and her Aunt (who she lives with) terribly less so).
She visited me in the UK recently (again, getting a visa scared me because of all the posts on here and other websites about Thai girls getting UK visas. Turns out every other Thai girlfriend post is old men with bargirls which makes it difficult. My girlfriend is a student and so am I… the visa got approved in less than 2 weeks).
It was an amazing time, but the depressing thing is she had to hide it all from her family (Mum/Aunt side) – had to tell them she was visiting her father's family for a couple of weeks. Crazy stuff. I spent a lot of money that holiday, paid for a lot for her. Mainly because I am generous, and wanted her to have a great time. She insisted she didn't have a lot of money (frankly it's true, I've seen her bank statements, she's a typical kid supported by her parents, and obviously her mum isn't going to support her on a holiday to the UK. I guess that's why it doesn't bother me, and doesn't make me think she's deceitful. She isn't, full stop).
I'm going there this New Year and I'll meet her family. It's going to be extremely interesting, I think. In my best situation I hope they'll like me, be happy, we'll have a good smile at New Year together. In the worst circumstance, who knows, they'll look down on me and won't talk to me, but I hope it won't happen like that.
Anyway, I guess I wanted to write this simply because there are NO OTHER STORIES about people in my situation (actually if there are, please link me, I'd love to read them). I Google for advice about my situation – neither of us have ever been in long distance relationships, especially cross-culture. I'd love to know more about students my age with student girlfriends from Thailand. Typical, same-age relationships. With all due respect, I don't give a crap about old man-bar girl relationships, except for the enjoyment and interest reading and being amazed about the situations!
I want to know more about people like me,!
Your story is not typical of what appears on this site and it is certainly a good thing that you did not find this site earlier than you did. I admit that first impressions could make one think that it is hard to forge a successful relationship in Thailand. Well, actually it is, but in your case you don't have a lot of the barriers that perhaps a more typical reader might. I wish you and your girlfriend all the best!