What Kind Of Girl Will I Settle Down With?

After years of globetrotting, shagging and whoremongering, I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s getting close to the time to settle down with one woman. I’m not getting any younger and I just can’t get after it like I could even just a few years ago. My body at times screams at me to knock it off and slow down. The brain is still writing checks my body can’t always cash. I’m you’re typical 50’s guy but I come from good genetic stock so I’m still at my high school weight and wrinkle free. Thanks mom. This should serve me well in my search for my future soul mate. Still have plenty of lead in my pencil but Vitamin V is more of a staple these days.

Some readers are probably thinking I should start looking for the ever elusive ‘good girl’ in the malls or some dating sites. I’ve been mauling this over for a long time. I’ve dabbled on TLL and the like. Found those to be a monumental waste of my time. In Thailand, a ‘good girl’ is generally considered any girl who has never worked in the industry. If you’re wondering what “the industry” is, you still have a ways to go. For the record, I’m stuck on Asian chicks. My first Asian pussy was in Jakarta in 1991. Been hooked ever since.

I’ve shagged and whoremongered in:

US

Canada

Mexico

El Salvador

Panama

Guatemala

Columbia

Brazil

Uruguay

Liberia

Gambia

South Africa

Zimbabwe

Kuwait

Israel

Jordon

UK

Spain

France

Germany

Malta

Austria

Switzerland

Australia

New Zealand

Russia

India

China (mainland)

Indonesia

Singapore

Malaysia

Philippines

Japan

Thailand

I think that’s all. Been to many more countries but these are the countries where I’ve shagged a local, or transport that I can recall. When I say whoremongering, it’s not always about a prostitute. I’m talking about whether with a whore or local ‘good girl.’ Some may argue they are all whores. My career took me all over the world. My point is, I know whores. I’ve shagged countless whores. Whores are my friend. I’m not a big fan of the word “whore” because it conjures up bad images for farangs and the word is a bit harsh. (Hi Korski) But, “whore” is shorter and easier to type than “prostitute.“ Whoring outside your home country just doesn’t seem like whoring. Not like it would paying for a street urchin in San Francisco or similar. When you’re thousands of miles away from home, in many countries, like Thailand for example, whoremongering is like picking up a girl in a disco. Just doesn’t feel like you’re paying for sex the same as in the West.

I’ve banged all kinds of girls from all over the world so I have a good baseline from which to decide what kind of girl I want to settle down with. I could make a case for a girl from many parts of the world. Girls in Latin America are stunning. Very tempting, especially the Brazilian girls. Hot hot stuff. Euro? North America? Are you kidding? Euro and Yank broads are just the kind a woman a yellow fevered farang wants to avoid like dying in a fiery car wreck. The exception being Spanish or Italian girls. African babe? Nah. I’m stuck on Asian girls.

Just an aside. Little mongering story. On night in Harare, Zimbabwe, I’m in my hotel bar downing a few. There’s this African gal sitting by herself at another table. One look at her and I knew she’s a whore. She was on the chunky side which definitely isn’t my taste in women. She was older as well. Probably around 40. Huge knockers which were well out in front of her. When I first noticed her I was totally not interested. However, as the night wore on and the drinks kept coming, my liquor-goggles started to focus and the girl started looking better. The smaller, yet much more powerful brain below the belt line was now in control of things. I started eyeing her more when eye contact was made and smiles exchanged. She came on over and sat next to me. It’s the same drill no matter where you are in the world.

We’re chatting and she’s asking all the usual questions whores ask potential clients. Again, same drill no matter where you are in the world. Of course, I’m lying through my teeth as one does, or should when chatting up a whore. After a while, she asks me if I would like to go to the disco at the Sheraton Hotel. “Sure, lets go.” We hop into a cab and head for the Sheraton. This was a Friday or Saturday night and the disco was packed. Standing room only. We make our way to a spot and get ourselves a couple of drinks. I’m the only white guy in place and really stick out in the crowd. No problem for me as I’m well used to this sort of situation.

After a few minutes, this other girl, much younger and absolutely beautiful wearing a slightly loose fitting, long dress was suddenly standing next to me. Her dress accentuated her lovely curves very nicely. I look at her and smile. After a minute, she’s right next to me making body contact. I’m acting like I’m ignoring her, at least to my first girl so as not to piss her off. Certainly didn’t want to cause a scene in this situation. Well, the young beautiful girl was too much to ignore and I slip my arm around her waist. Wow, she was really nice and her svelte body felt really nice next to mine. Miss Chunky noticed this and asks me if I would rather have the young girl. Yes I tell her and slip Miss Chunky some cash and thank her for her time. She walks off and all was good. Miss Svelte and I head back to my hotel and the evening and morning deeds were done. Some girls remain ingrained in your memory and this black beauty is one of them.

Anyway, back to the original premise of this piece. What kind of girl do I want to settle down with. It’s basically a no-brainer. Going to have to be an Asian girl. They have the look and feel that above all others, still makes Mr. Woody come to attention.

I’m not particularly that picky about which country she will be from. I’ve ruled out Japanese. Japanese girls just don’t quite do it for me. That leaves the rest of SEA from which to choose. I’ve spent much time in the Philippines and Filipinas can be very nice but at the end of the day, it’s the Thai girls that capture my attention above all others. I’m drawn to them like a moth to a lantern.

The obvious route to take would be to find a good girl. Not a bargirl. This is water is wet, fire is hot kind of stuff. “Don’t marry a bar girl” is Rule #1 on my top 10 list of Do’s and Don’ts.

I’ve decided that for me, despite the obvious risks and breaking my own cardinal rule, a bargirl may be the way to go. WTF you might be asking yourself? Look, here’s the deal. Despite the veneer of some class and dignity that I project, at heart, I’m a whoremongering party animal. Who am I kidding. Only a hardened bargirl would understand this behavior as she too has lived it. Not your farm fresh bargirl. A hardened bargirl. I’ve known many veteran bargirls and once you get past all the bullshit with them, many are real sweethearts. That has been my experience.

The vets I’ve befriended knew that I “know too mut” and they’ll in most cases stop the act and be themselves. Their former innocence is still buried somewhere in their hearts. The trick is to get that former innocence to come out. I’ve had some mighty good times with veteran bargirls. So, when I do find a girl to “take care me,” she may well be a former or soon to be former bargirl. One litmus test she must past is that she has never been sullied by an Arab or Nigerian. Since I’m the one with the cash, that puts me in the drivers seat and that’s a fact is not lost or ever will be on myself. It could be a good situation.

Of course, I would not kick a good girl out of bed if she was right and understood me and my past shagging and mongering. We’ll see what the future holds.