Ode to Union Hill
This is an ode to the fellow
Union Hill is his chosen pen name
A star of the website called Stickman
He’s right at the top of his game
He once was a handsome young Welshman
A star rugby man in his teens
He used to perform for his county
Now he drinks with the other “has beens”
I don’t want you to think that he’s past it
There’s a new sport in which he excels
If it ever appears at the Olympics
He’s certain of winning medals
The sport is “pleasure horizontal”
The best that the worlds ever seen
And a better exponent there aint sir
He could shag for his Country and Queen
When things went tits up back in Blighty
To the Kingdom our hero then flew
To the land where the girls are delightful
And freely available too
His wife is described as an angel
With the patience it’s said of a saint
To put up with all of his antics
Would make a much lesser girl faint
The tale of an early adventure
When the door came off at the hinges
Gave notice to all of a certain future
Of wild fornicatory binges
And now he’s the king of Suhkumvit
In Patpong Cowboy NEP
And occasionally loses his Monet
With the artists in Soi 33
He’s alleged to be prince of the pool halls
In the go-gos and beer bars he’s king
But he can’t dance a toss and I know for myself
He’s the only Welshman who can’t sing
His stamina’s the stuff of legends
To the dismay of some of his friends
It’s not just an hour or a day but a WEEK
When the slippery slope he descends
He seems to have got quite a fan club
Fellow Stickmanites all will agree
When he talks that the captain is pissed again
He’s probably in good company
He recently threw down a Challenge
If the life you want to pursue
To live with a Thai girl you must have the balls
And he has the gonads for two
In great pain he types on his keyboard
To entertain mongers like me
Before finally his frail body suffers the cost
Of a lifetime of debauchery
When he finally departs from this mortal coil
And the rest of us all will be gonners
They will bury his dick in a separate cask
With appropriate full military honours.
Stickman's thoughts:
Very nice indeed and well worthy of a tribute to Khun Hill. A Welshman who can't sing? That's almost as rare as a world-class Welsh rugby player these days… Ooops, I better keep away from Khun Hill – he is rather larger than I am…but am sure a beer will placate him 🙂