From One Misfit to Another
I’m a long-time Stickman reader who is usually impressed with the submissions to this site. I’m especially entertained when the more hedonistic writers combine their deviance with cultural sensitivity, intelligence or perception. Unfortunately,
John Diggins’ recent submission ‘Why I Enjoy Thailand’ was just moronic.
My mother did teach me to hold my thoughts if I can’t say anything nice, but right now I can barely contain myself. I know that most of what I am about to say should be common sense to many of the Stickman readers, but there are obviously some people who need to be informed about cultural etiquette.
Diggins likes Thailand because it brings ‘all of us misfits together and gives us a place where we can do very, very stupid things and no one really cares.’ He also wrote that he could get away with whatever he liked at the Eden Club for two years until the girls stopped enjoying his antics. My guess is that they stopped enjoying his antics long before that but kept smiling because he’s a big spender or it was their job to be nice to customers. Thai people do care how tourists act, but they might be too polite or non-confrontational to tell a tourist to stop behaving like an arse. The bargirls have obviously been showing Diggins that they don’t appreciate his antics or he wouldn’t be questioning why ‘the BKK bargirls hate me more and more’. I would think that it’s inappropriate for someone to hang their cock in the pool table pocket when playing pool with a bargirl no matter what bar they’re in. Is it any wonder that Thai people have been showing aggression towards tourists if this is how they are behaving? I know I’d want to punch this Diggins in the face if he flopped his cock out in front of me.
Bargirls don’t usually turn their backs on customers that they are interested in being with. Flicking peanuts at a girl’s back when she is trying to avoid a customer is not beneficial. I can only think of two explanations for why all of the bargirls in an area as big as Bangkok show a dislike towards a certain customer. The first explanation is that the customer has slept with the girls in many bars and built up a widespread reputation for being an arsehole. The other is that he is consistently dirty, smelly and unruly. I would say that a combination of these two explanations apply to Diggins. Diggins likes Thailand because ‘money talks.’ Money does talk in Thailand, but so does courtesy and hygiene. Judging by the discussion about showering that Diggins had with a taxi driver, I’d say that there’s a possibility he has poor hygiene. Excellent personal hygiene is a must in Thailand and Thai people get very annoyed when tourists smell like they haven’t showered for a week. When I first arrived in Thailand I didn’t realise that I was starting to stink from sweating in the humidity until I received some dirty looks from locals. Now I shower and wash my clothes twice as much as I would in Australia. Many Thai people have since commented that I smell nice and look like a good man. I have never had a multitude of bargirls turn against me, but I am courteous and have some decorum. Diggins has accepted that everywhere he goes in Thailand the girls he likes don’t like him. If he showed a bit of decorum they might be more interested in him.
Occasionally I do get extremely drunk when I’m with a bargirl, but it is always with a bargirl who has been in the industry for a while and has the confidence to straighten me out if I cross any boundaries with her. Many girls who are fresh in the bar and do not speak any English will not have the confidence to say when the customer is going too far. Chances are that if the girl looks scared and you start sucking her toes then ‘banging her arse off,’ her smile at the end is not genuine. I was told by a Thai girl to NEVER suck a Thai lady’s toes. I’m sure that many Thai women share this attitude. When I’m at work, I expect my boss to ask me if it’s okay when he wants me to do something out of the ordinary. I think it’s only fair that I show a bargirl the same respect that I would expect from an employer. It is common decency to ask a bargirl if performing a peculiar sex act is okay, especially if she is obviously new to the industry and scared of the whole experience. Many Thai women will do extraordinary things for money, but is getting a bargirl to perform unusual sex acts such as bondage really something to brag about?
Diggins wrote, ‘I need sex with a dark skinned Asian girl, she needs money.’ There should be no comparison here. She may need money, but a man does not really need to have sex with a dark-skinned Asian girl unless he has some kind of addiction or compulsive disorder. Money is a need and sex is a want.
Diggins seemed to really appreciate the experience of going to a girl’s village to meet her family but showed very little understanding of what this visit might mean to a bargirl. Taking a man home to meet the family can be a big move for any Thai lady, regardless of her occupation. Diggins claims that his sex with bargirls is 100% business and that’s the way it should be, so I suggest that he finds another way to enjoy family life in a rural area. The TAT is able to organise for tourists to experience homestays at a number of locations in Isaan. This homestay option won’t lead to a girl losing face.
Finally, Mr. Diggins suggested that he is thinking about becoming a writer. I used to work for a publishing company in Australia so I’m not unqualified to discuss this matter. It takes hard work and dedication to be a good writer, not to mention intelligence and sensitivity. Writers generally understand that a sentence begins with a capital letter and ends with a full stop. They also know that questions end with a question mark. It is expected that a writer will make sure these are in place before he submits his work. A short piece of writing should have a clear sense of purpose and direction. Diggins’ short stories and divergences were characterised by their banality, lack of insight and poor punctuation. He showed little respect for his audience. Frankly, I really don’t care how many bargirls he has screwed. Reading over 6, 000 words of his writing was a waste of time. If wannabe writers want to divulge their sexual exploits, they should go to sex tourist forums such as BarLadies.
And if Mr. Diggins is reading this, I make no apologies for being harsh. My comments are an honest response to the image you projected in your writing. That you were interested in working on the farm and want to give the girls a good time show that you are probably a decent guy, but your ignorance of Thai culture astounded me. I hope you get over the yellow fever soon. I know all too well that it’s a hideous, all-consuming disease that clouds one’s judgement.
Guys like Diggins are forever stuck with the bargirls. Decent Thai women wouldn't give him the time of day. The sad part however is that there are more and more Diggins coming to Thailand these days and they're not doing anything for the reputation of the rest of us.