Bangkok: Take 1
I’ve read a lot of submissions to this site (an absolutely fantastic place to read about Thailand), so here I am, adding to the database of stories and experiences. If you get something out of what I say, great – if not, there’s a
lot of stuff on this site – just keep reading.
So, I moved to Bangkok last month. I can honestly say, that if I had moved here 3, 4, or 5 (or more) years ago, I would have been totally FxxxED. In fact, I came here about 3 years ago for a vacation / conference with some buddies, and my experience was that of which horror stories are made – getting scammed by taxi drivers, getting suckered by bar girls, spending too much money on everything, etc, etc. I won’t bore you with that now, but maybe I’ll write about it some other time.
I’m gonna talk about Thai girls, and my LIMITED experience with them. My attitude is different now, the main reason for which is that I’ve lived in Tokyo for the past 3 years, and I’ve learned (through lots of labor, pain, and some misery) that I don’t need to put beautiful women on a pedestal anymore. I took a “class” when I was over there a few years back, on how to approach J-girls, talk to them, and get them to want to bonk me (in a nutshell). In Japanese, it’s called “nampa”. I got pretty good at it over there (and as it turns out, it works on American girls, too – as I found out when I went back for a vacation this summer to see the family / friends), but I wasn’t sure about what would happen when I got to Thailand. I was actually a bit scared coming over here – afraid of the obvious – falling for some beautiful Thai bar girl – getting sucked in by her feminine wiles.
I’ve had experience with a bunch of girls here so far, some bar girls, some “good / normal” girls. I’ll talk about the non-bar girl first. I’ll post the bar girl story later.
I met her on Thai Love Links. This is a great site to meet Thai girls that actually have a life – mostly because they have jobs that don’t require them to spread their legs for every farang who buys them a drink and pays for them to spend time with him. She’s 19 (a little young for me, if that’s possible), and from just outside of BKK – I chatted with her on MSN for a week or so (not a lot, but enough) and she told me she was coming to BKK to visit her brother. So, when she told me she was here, I called her, and we met later that night. Her brother lives over by the Victory Monument BTS station, so I met her there. I had told her on the phone that we could go play some pool, but something must have got lost in the conversation, because when we got to the bar to play, she said she had never played before (her English sucks, and although I’m taking classes to study Thai, it’s not so good yet – in fact, it’s brutal). This was actually a good sign since now I really knew she wasn’t some bar girl and her story about living outside of BKK was probably true (I obviously take everything these girls say with a grain of salt – whether I meet them on MSN, IRL, or whatever). The other thing that I found absolutely amazing was that she had never taken the BTS before – I had to show her how to buy a ticket and how to put it in the turnstile.
Since I really didn’t feel like teaching her to play pool, I said “khun choop duu nang?” – which basically means, “do you like to watch movies”? – and she said yes – so I said, “let’s go to my apartment and watch a movie”. (This works well with j-girls, btw) – and she said “ok”.
So, we went to my place, and started watching a flick. We’re on the bed, and I try to kiss her, and she turns her cheek, but won’t kiss me. So I kiss her on the cheek and kinda tilt my head, exposing my cheek, and she kisses my cheek. (again, works well in Japan).
About 5 minutes later I try again. This time she kisses me a little.
5 minutes later, I try again, and I get the same response. So I figure I have to actually TALK to her a little bit. I say “I think you don’t like me…maybe you really want to kick box me” – and I’m smiling when I say it, and put up my hands as if we’re gonna fight – so she starts giggling and says “no, no – I like you”. So, I ignore her a little bit, watch the movie, then try again. This time she starts kissing me, I mean, shoving her tongue down my throat, and is really getting into it – which sort of shocks me a little. After a few minutes of this, we stop, I watch the movie again, then after a few minutes start again, and it’s on – clothes off, bonking.
And then I’m totally disappointed. Why? Because she had ONE thing of value to offer me, and she gave it up way too easy. There’s no more chase. (Before I start sounding like a misogynist, which I’m not, I have to point out that I am not saying that this girl doesn’t have anything else of value, but the fact is, our communication level so low, so there’s no intelligent conversation to be had – and really, the only thing we have in common at this point is sex). <You self-centred sod! You took her to your place and made the first moves and then you turn it on her like it is her fault. GET REAL! – Stick> And I start to think maybe I’ve lost my mind. Here’s this beautiful 19 year old, who wants me to be her boyfriend (who knows, she probably has 3 others just like me), isn’t expecting me to throw 1,000 or 1,500 baht at her the next day, and I don’t want it anymore. Unreal. She did stay with me that night, and actually one more night (she wanted to stay a 3rd, until she was supposed to head back to her home outside BKK, but I had to get rid of her – I just wanted to be alone, and I had met some other girl on the BTS that I wanted to go out with). I did, of course, spend some money on her. I had to get a haircut, and she went with, so she got hers cut, too. I also had to get a new fingernail (I play the classical guitar, and one of mine broke), so I paid for her to get her nails done. (She called me “gay” after that, since I was so concerned about my fingernails, which actually made me a little more attracted to her – she’s got a good sense of humor). But beyond that, and food, of course (you have to feed them! haha) – I didn’t really do much out of the ordinary. She did test me, saying she wanted shoes, skirt, new clothes and all this crap – but I just said “no”. (I did buy her a new bra and underwear – which of course I made her wear on the 2nd night). I told her “next time I’ll buy some shoes and maybe we will go clothes shopping”. I dunno, I haven’t decided if there will be a next time. She said “I’m coming back to BKK on the 30th”, and my reply was “Really? Where are you staying?” – and laughing while I said it.
I don’t know if I have a point to this story, other than the story itself. But I do want to relay something that one of my “coaches” in Tokyo told me. His job was that of a host in Kabukicho (which means he gets paid to entertain women, a VERY popular industry in Japan – and of course, there’s the hostesses, too, who get paid to entertain the men) – he told me once: “You have to realize something. The beautiful girl is not the prize. YOU are the prize”. It took me a LONG time to really believe that, and even longer to FEEL it, but it’s so true. And it’s not because I’m some incredibly handsome, rich doctor. I’m not. I’m your basic guy. I’m not ugly, but I’m not super good-looking, either. (I figure I’m somewhere between the elephant man and Brad Pitt – haha) – I have some money saved, and I earn an OK living, but I’m not rich. I’m not old, and I’m not young. (I’m 37). But all that shit doesn’t matter, anyway. Any guy, young/old, fat/skinny, handsome/ugly, rich/poor, can get have relationships with women without selling their soul for it. You don’t need to bow down to these girls just because their beautiful and they give you the time of day. And you most definitely DO NOT have to settle for the first one that comes along.
Who knows? I may get bowled over by some girl and eat these words. Part of me hopes that will happen – that I will meet somebody that just rocks my world and that when I’m spending time with her, I don’t see some other hottie and think about the fastest way to get ditch her. Like I said, I’ve only been here a month.
That’s it for now.
Next time: Bar girl.
I don't like to criticise, but there's something about the tone of your story that I found a bit creepy. Maybe it's the way you seem resentful that you actually had to spend what really is such a small amount of money on this 19-year old girl while she was staying with you in tiny small studio apartment giving in to your sexual whims. There's something here that rubbed me up the wrong way….but then maybe I am reading too much into it.