Not Everything Is As It Seems
About the author
Normal young western guy that is outgoing and fun, not the type that travels to Thailand for women.
Basically I am writing this story to show how easy it is to totally misinterpret Thai women in general because many are looked upon as money grabbing angels.
This is my story of happiness, love, sadness and misunderstanding.
My first trip to Thailand
My first time to Thailand changed my life, in 2008. I just loved the environment, the people and the diving culture which basically was the reason I travelled to Thailand in the first place. Yes I have heard all the stories about beautiful women but during the whole month in Thailand I didn't touch any girl whatsoever. I was enjoying my holiday, diving and exploration. Although me and my friend went to many clubs to drink, I kinda ignored all the women, since I was so skeptical about Thai women because of all the stories on the internet and word of mouth.
Second trip to Thailand and falling in love
Me and my friend had to come back to Thailand early 2009 to dive more, but ended up the first couple of nights exploring Phuket and met a girl at a club there. She was very beautiful, someone very out of the ordinary. She basically took my breath away which is not easy, mind you 😉 I was kinda half ignoring her because I knew this could never go any further because of Thai vs. farang. We came from two different worlds. But we ended up talking and she seemed very nice and cool, so I ended up taking her out for dinner and later she invited me to her place. She had her own car, own apartment and basically was not a "poor girl" by any means. Nothing happened this first night and we ended up talking for hours. I laid out all my worries to her and said I was really defensive against Thai girls because of all the stories, and she told me her story about fearing farangs as many of her girlfriends had had their heart broken by farangs.
I had a hotel on Phi-Phi island so I was travelling from this island to stay with her this entire month. When I was at Phi-Phi I wasn't myself, nothing was fun anymore. I was thinking about her 24/7. I was scared outta my mind since I never thought I could get such strong feelings about a girl before.
When I stayed with her everything was perfect and we shared the same humor and had a lot of fun. She was kinda crazy like me, outgoing, loved trying new stuff and liked adventure.
My feelings for her were obvious at that point, and when the departure date was closing in I saw in her eyes how sad she got, and me too. I cried for the first time in at least 10 years when I left her. Me cry? People who know me would laugh about that. I promised her I would return for her but she was scared that I wouldn't come back and if I didn't she would understand it.
Back in my country everything changed about me. I had a different purpose in life. Everything from work to training got a lot better since I worked to become a better person to provide a better future for the both of us. Everything I did was for her and I couldn't care less about myself. As long as she was happy I was happy. She didn't ask for any money when I was back home where I stayed for 3 months before returning for her.
Back in Thailand for my love
3 months after I was back in her arms and I wasn't falling in love with her anymore. I loved her, I could die for her in seconds. I would take a bullet for her any second. She was the reason my heart was pumping. The most important person in my life. Feelings were so strong that I think I had found a soulmate. We travelled a lot around Thailand and I met her father, mother, uncle, sister and the rest of her family and stayed with them a couple of nights as well. We also experienced a lot of culture and she showed me many of her teachers as she takes Buddhism very seriously More so than a normal Thai would I think. She also could heal with her hands, a lot about her is very special and I respected her.
After a few weeks she showed me she owned land and that she wanted to build a house there some day for her mother. She paid a fixed amount every month and asked if I could help her pay down the land. This was 50,000 baht and I was a bit skeptical about this, but after meeting her family I thought to myself that I should help because I can. After spending 90,000 baht for two weeks on Phi-Phi this was something I could easily provide for her.
Later on after I've said the money would arrive at date x in her account she asked more and more about where the money was. I said many times that it depended on the bank transfer time. After two more days she started getting angry at me as to why money hadn't arrived. Giving me a face like I was lying to her which got me really upset. I started to wonder why she acted like that. B ecause she wanted to trick me? We argued a lot about this and she complained I didn't understand Thai culture and I defended myself. I am trying to help and you are looking down upon me for doing so!
I turned on my laptop and checked with an Asian message board with people from my country for advice. I told my story and people immediately thought she was playing me. I should get the hell outta this relationship as fast as I could. I tried talking with her even more but that resulted in her leaving for the temple and leaving me alone for the 4th night in a row. I was fed up and left her to stay at a hotel. She got to me before leaving and begged me to stay and talk this over, but I was so angry that I left for hotel to calm down. I felt tricked and when you feel that the love of your life has tricked you….well let me say that's the worst anger you could possibly imagine. I was basically hoping for someone to try and rob me that night.
Chilling out and finding myself
Stayed a day at a hotel in Patong near the beach, enjoying swimming and getting a tan, I thought about all we had been through, all the tears and every word where she said she loved me. How could she trick me? Or did she trick me? I thought why not give her the money anyways, not to help her but to support her family. I've spent more money on a western woman in a week than what this Thai girl has cost me in 5 months. We met up and she was basically broken down, crying non-stop and said she was sorry. She hadn't slept all night. We talked everything out and she said she had told her mother that money would arrive at date x and that's why she got a bit angry when it didn't. I was still a bit unsure about her, but I gave her the money and she gave it back with the papers for her land. I got to go to the bank and pay out the land so I could see for my own eyes that she wasn't fooling me in any way. She also said she could pay me back when she could but I said no.
We basically made up and I said I was very sorry for acting like this, and that Thai stories on the internet make me think all the wrong things. I updated my story in this Asian message board and people responded obviously that she was still tricking me, that Thai girls are experts in crying and acting sad. This sounded strange to me but at the same time I couldn't ignore it. Suddenly when we were eating dinner she started crying outta nowhere. This proved to me that she had feelings for me and that when I left her that night she got crushed. I calmed her down and said I loved her and that I would never leave her again. I felt like an idiot for breaking her heart, I was going to Thailand to make her happy not to destroy her like this
Back in my country and more problems
After a few weeks of contact through calling each other and saying we love each other I suddenly lost contact with her. She wouldn't pick up the phone. So here I am, loving this girl. I know she loves me so what am I to do? Well after 2 weeks I got desperate so I knew through the Asian message board I hang out on that there was a guy from my country living in Thailand near my girlfriend. I got him to visit her apartment and she had moved which she had told me earlier about and she was gonna move back home that month. So no surprise there. But the reception told my friend she checked out with a Thai guy and didn't know if this was her friend or boyfriend. I got him to call my girlfriend's number and guess what? She answered. He told her that I was worried about her and she responded "Me and him are finished!" You could basically drive a sword through my heart and it wouldn't hurt anything like the hurt I was feeling at that moment. I felt like what everyone had told me about her playing me was true, but at the same time I could not find any logic behind this. If she was playing me, why hadn't she asked for more money as I have said many times "If you need anything, call me" which she didn't. This got me thinking that it was our fight that has led to this.
The fight for getting her back
I told my story to another Thai girl and she responded quite different than what western men responded. "Fight for her, get her back, she loves you but is unsure about you!" Ok so I did and guess what? After researching more to this story I found that the Thai guy wasn't a boyfriend at all, but a friend. And she had also now moved back to her father a long way away from any friends. So no she wasn't cheating on me as I first thought after hearing this. I called her and she responded and told me she had so many problems. She sent me a picture of her car all crashed up and she couldn't walk ….
If this was the reason for her breaking up I really don't know still. I said I can easily help you with anything, I know she wasn't working because of this and in Thailand that must be hard. After a few days she asked if she could borrow money for the hospital which I agreed to.
More days go by and she can now walk again but ended up not taking my phone for 2 days which got me really fed up again. I hadn't transferred any money at this point and I was thinking now I am ending this, I can't take this anymore. I called her up and I was going to end it while she turns my world upside down.
"I don't need your help, I have borrowed money from my father". WHAT? I said I wanted to help her anyways but she didn't want to trouble me. I felt like an idiot once again.
Conclusion to the story and a happy ending
Basically this was a girl I stayed with for 5 months and was a well respected girl who didn't ask for anything. After 5 months when she did ask for my help I freaked out and thought the worst and so did the rest who heard this story which resulted in me breaking her heart and I was very close to losing the love of my life.
I am not writing this story to get farang men to think that all Thai women are good, they are not. Same with western women as well Bad women are everywhere as well as bad men. But a Thai girl is like how your grandmother was/is. The generation who grew upfighting for her life in every day. Us western people cannot understand this and it's so easy for us to misunderstand situations like I have presented in my story here. Do not be so quick to ask others for advice as only you and her knows the true story. Think about it, 50,000 baht for a land to provide better home for an entire family versus 50,000 baht for a designer Gucci bag for your western woman. What is worse? I acted like an idiot towards her and I am lucky I saved this relationship, as I said to her from day 1 after I met her. I won't leave you, I will stay with you through good and worse. I knew in my heart what she felt and what I felt.
My advice to anyone is follow your heart, not anyone else's advices. Yes there are many bad Thai-farang relationships but there are more good Thai-farang relationships you never hear about 😉
True love saved our love
Does this woman even have a job? It doesn't sound like she does.
I would suggest that you have been played, and will continue to be played, and you don't even realise it. She simply throws a tantrum or cries when she doesn't get her way….and you cave in. You need to grow a backbone and watch her actions rather than listen to her words.