Looking For My Thai Mother In-law Part 1
Let me tell you guys I suck at writing anything interesting, but I could not get this down to 100 words for questions for Mrs. Stick.
I don’t know anything about the Thailand you guys write about. Never been to a bar or a temple in Thailand. I scheduled the first trip there to see a stewardess I had a two day fling with in Hawaii. After I scheduled the trip to Thailand she met someone in Tokyo. So I decided to make the trip anyway since I had paid for it already. When I changed planes on the way to Bangkok the guy sitting next to me established within 30 seconds that he had known the same stewardess and had lived within 20 miles from me back in 1979. My my my how some of those Thai girls get around, huh? I did a tiny bit of research and saw MTV Asia was having a Halloween party on Khao San Road. So I got a room at the Buddy Lodge there and met my wife by the payphone at the 7-11 when I called my mom to check her blood sugar.
The father of my wife and her brother who were born in the early 80's is a doctor. His father and two sisters are doctors. His mother was a high school principal. This was a large family with various other brothers and sisters. The entire family was very upset that my wife's father had a relationship with a nightclub singer from Khon Kaen. Even though they were only a few generations from farmers themselves. Of course that fact gives them the insecurity shakes because they never know if someone from a long extended classy family is laughing at their farming background. So they strut around like freaking peacocks so everyone will know how cool they are…
When my wife and her brother were born about one year apart my wife's father put a little girl down on the birth certificate as mother instead of my wife’s real mom so the real mother would have no documented connection to them and it would make it easier to get rid of her later. The little girl on the birth certificate never lived there but was registered there to be in a better school district. The boy at birth was sent to live with the family upcountry with the grandmother, grandfather and various brothers and sisters. I guess if you were in medical school and got married or had children you were expelled. I have been searching for my mother in-law for over six years.
When my wife was born her mom and her came out to stay with my wife's father's family home with the house full of prick family creepos. Basically all pricks who did not like her, especially the grandmother. My wife's mom's favorite thing to do was to get out of that house and walk up and down the lane with her little baby girl. The neighbors remember them well and said my wife’s mom was very nice in spite of what my wife’s father said the other night when he called my wife to tell her what a horrible person her mom was.
Somebody in his family had called to warn him that I was getting very close to finding my wife’s mom. But when he talked to my wife he was so careful to not tell her anything that I had not already found out. He told my wife that the family could be ruined because of a scandal and he was at a point where he just wanted to enjoy life! You know, never mind this woman was treated like a breeding animal and told to never return again ever! She does not even know she has two grandchildren! There must be much more to this story for him to be this scared. Like maybe he had her beaten up or arrested so she would never come back.
I thought his whole life he was about enjoying life, he took 10 years longer than his sister to get through medical school… And when my wife was very young he would drag her along with him every night to various bars and ignore her while he drank and talked to his friends.
His sister is a pediatrician out west here in the U.S. I called her once to ask about what a jerk her brother is. When my wife and I had a problem I would call him and ask his advice. He would then pretend he was helping but he would actually talk to my wife and try to make it worse. After talking to him a few times though I would catch him lying every time I talked to him…I mean it was like why ever tell the truth when you can make something up.
So I call the sister so very very much looking forward to talking about things at a normal pace instead of the sloooowwwwwwww pace of English my wife’s father spoke with. I ask to make sure I have the right person, do you have a brother in Thailand who is a doctor also. She says “I can not answer at this time” I am a little confused at this and stammer something and she says “I am not her legal guardian” and hangs up… WTF???
When my wife was around three years old her father had finished medical school and left this job in Bangkok to work at a hospital away from Bangkok that was just built by a wealthy friend who he know from medical school.
Then the father forced my wife's mom to bring my wife to Bangkok to live with him. Since it was time for my wife to start school and her mom could not get my wife into school because she was not on the birth certificate as mom. She was told the only way my wife was going to school was if she left my wife with my wife's father and she away to never return again. They gave her some money to leave and my wife never saw her mom again even though my wife’s mom would occasionally go to the hospital where my wife's father worked and try to see my wife but her father was adamant that she would never see her again. He even changed her name at the school he got her into. A friend ran the school and he was able to get her into school without documentation because her father was afraid to get her birth certificate. You know, the one with a three year old girl on as mother.
The sad thing is that he did not even give my wife enough attention to get her through high school. I met her a month after she turned 18. We had to go to Nicaragua to get married because we could not find anyplace in Asia where an 18 year old could get married without her parents permission.
Her father also got married when my wife was nine years old. So he and his new wife moved from the small two room apartment to a house. My wife then lived in the small two room apartment alone or with various nannies. But later after her father and his new wife had a couple kids. My wife was supposed to watch them after school. Or if she went out to dinner with them the new wife would make my wife watch her two kids like some lazy bitch from an evil stepmother movie. So of course my wife avoids going out to eat with them making her even more alone. The other doctors where her father worked would call her bamboo girl. Meaning she was always alone like a bamboo stalk…
He then told her he would keep her marriage secret from everybody in Thailand so she could come back home if things didn’t work out and pretend she had never been married. I had to fax about 20 hospitals in Thailand with his cell number asking someone to call him and tell him the secret marriage was over.
We have a three year old daughter and a two year old son now. My daughter wants to know her grandmother. She watches the cartoon Caillou and wants to know why she does not have a grandmother like Caillou does.
For you guys who think middle class families are automatically so full of character and integrity I am sorry to give you pause. I was explaining right and wrong once with my wife and she said nobody ever talked to her about right and wrong before.
My wife has an uncle with a wife who is very nice. She is a high school teacher and told my friend that she wanted to find my wife’s mom too. Of course she then went home and told her husband she had talked to my friend and probably got her ass beat or chewed off. It is too bad because she from what my friend said she was a genuinely nice and classy lady.
So what I am wondering is, in Thai culture how is this family viewed. I know my wife's mom lives in Amphur Nampong and will eventually find her. But I would like to know how Thai people view this. I think the people in this family are all monsters but that is just me. Or am I really a strange white guy who should not worry about my kids grandmother and be happy this drop shot family has never asked me for money… But if anyone knows anyone up in Amphur Nampong who could help find out where my Wife’s mom is please let me know. Stick will forward any messages.
PS – For you guys that want some real fun. Try taking your money and time up to the area on the Thai Burma border where there is a concentration of refugee camps and orphanages. There is a column here on Sticks site called In focus Bangkok Images Weekly written by BKKSteve. I think taking cheap sport shoes or toys or ice cream or a big screen TV with cartoon videos or just plain rice would be so much more fun than being with a bad tempered whores. I think giving some child a happy memory that they will never forget and would actually appreciate for real would have to be the best time you could ever have. Those kids will never call you farang… There is nothing in this world that matches the expression of happy enthusiasm from little kids that get something for them that is not expected. And believe me when those kids get up in the morning they are not expecting anything nice…
Hopefully some readers might have some idea…