Stickman Readers' Submissions September 19th, 2009

First Time in Thailand

Patong 29/8 – 5/9, 2009

mens clinic bangkok

A friend and I decided to go to Thailand for a week's holiday. Our destination of choice was Patong on Phuket Island.

We arrived at Phuket International Airport at about 7pm on Saturday night. We were picked up by a pre-arranged driver and driven to our hotel in Patong. Checked in, had a shower then found a restaurant (not a hard thing to do) for a seafood banquet, then hit the bars on Bangla Rd. My friend had been before and frequented the U2 bar on his previous visit about 5 years ago, so we decided to go there. Got drinking with 3 young Finnish backpackers and helped them polish off a bottle of Johnny Walker black label. This got them trashed and they headed for wherever they were staying. We were still keen to keep drinking so we did, even though it was about 2am local time and we had just travelled for 20+ hours to get there. We headed across the road to the Hollywood disco and found a couple of lovely Thai girls who were keen to come back to our hotel. We obliged them. We rode back to the hotel on the back of their scooters. I remember thinking to myself “this is going to be a good holiday”. Got back to our rooms and had a good time, but then mine wanted more money to stay the night. I said no (I had already paid her 500 baht) and told her to leave. She then said she would stay and not charge me. But I kicked her out anyway. I found out the next morning that my friend had done the same.

Spent day 2 walking around and checking out the sights – the beach, markets, shops, more shops, places to eat etc. Then that evening, we were back at the U2 bar. We had already struck up a rapport with the waitress there and she welcomed us back and sat us at our table out the front, and put 2 cold Heinekens on the table. We proceeded to get trashed at the table, watching everything happening and waving off hawkers selling all their trinkets – laser pointers, cigarettes, flower garlands, wristbands, photos with lizards, etc etc. Although we did get the photos with lizards on our arms – my mate got one on his head. Went for a walk and got the photo with the ladyboys outside Soi Eric. Went in for a look – man, it’s like stepping through some portal into another world. Had a look then split to another bar that I forget the name of, but we were immediately pounced upon by lovely Thai girls who draped themselves over us and asked us to by them lady drinks. I had done my homework before going and knew all about this stuff. But we bought them drinks anyway. We were planning to take a couple back to the hotel when a fight broke out on the street. Some stupid Farang had tried to start a fight with some Thais and got his arse kicked, even though he was wearing knuckle dusters. He ended up with a stab wound in his back too. The cops came and took him away in the back of a Hilux ute. By this stage, the bars were closing and the girls had gone home so we headed back to our hotel ‘empty handed’.

We decided to have a beer in the hotel bar before bed. It was about 5am at this stage. We got chatting to the barman who said he could get us whatever we wanted. He asked us if we wanted drugs. My mate and I were a bit weary; this is Thailand after all. Neither of us felt like doing 20 to life in the Bangkok Hilton so we politely declined his offer. He wasn’t put off. ‘What about girls. You want girls?’ We both looked at each other and kind of laughed. It was nearly dawn, we were both trashed and needed sleep badly. But he got on his cellphone and said ‘I get you girls’. We just shrugged our shoulders. I planned on finishing my beer and going to bed – girl or no girl. Not more than 2 minutes later, 2 absolute stunners walked in and sat down at our table. We both looked at each other, very pleasantly surprised. So we bought another round of drinks and made small talk. Their English wasn’t great but they could make themselves understood and could understand us if we spoke slowly leaving out the finer points of grammar. I was pretty tired by this time and said ‘I’m going to bed. You want to come?’ ‘OK’ was her answer. I said to her ‘No boom-boom, just sleep’. She looked a little disappointed, but came anyway. The hotel was very good about ‘guests’. No joiner fee, and they took the girls ID cards at reception and made a note of the ID number or something. We slept until about lunchtime the next day. Then had boom-boom : )

At this stage, I hadn’t paid her anything. I got out of her (Moon was her name) that she was a massage girl working in a shop just down the road. The barman had basically pimped her out. I asked her if she wanted to meet up later that night. She said I would have to pay her shop fine of 500 baht if I wanted to take her out that night. This was understandable and not too much of a drain on the expenses. I asked about paying her and she said ‘up to you’. This leaves it kind of open. I said I would pay for her dinner and drinks and see how the night went. I got her mobile number and rang it just to make sure it worked. It did.

So day 3 was spent wandering the streets again. That evening my mate and I went to a Thai boxing match at the Patong Boxing Stadium. That was cool. 8 bouts and 5 finished with KOs. A good evenings entertainment. Tickets were 1000 baht and we got a free T-shirt. We got dropped off at the hotel and I called Moon. She was there within minutes and asked for the 500 baht which I gave her. I watched her walk down the road, across the street and into a massage shop, then straight back to the hotel minus the money. My mate wasn’t really into the Thai girl scene – he had come to drink and get away from home and job for a while. So it was just the 3 of us. But he quickly found one that latched onto him, so at least there was no 3rd wheel. And the 2 girls seemed to kind of know each other, though everyone there is so friendly that they could have been complete strangers and still acted the same. So out for another night of drinking, and a night of boom-boom thanks to some over the counter Viagra (it was called some other name, but it worked a treat after all the booze).

Day 4, we rented a couple of scooters and did a bit of touring. I couldn’t believe how trusting these girls were – they didn’t really know us from a bar of soap, and didn’t know whether we could ride or not (I hadn’t ridden a motorbike for about 4 years prior to this) yet they hopped on the back with no helmets (we Farangs were wearing helmets) and trusted us to not crash. So off we went into the crazy 1-way traffic of Rat-U-Thit Rd. We headed south. There were a couple of things that we wanted to do: we wanted to see a snake show and wanted to blast away with guns. So they directed us to the Phuket Cobra show not far from Phuket Town. Saw the snake show, got the pics, then went to the Phuket Shooting Range which was located within the same area. Blasted away at a target with a 9mm semi auto pistol. Bought the souvenir photo there too. Then we rode up to the big Buddha and had a look at that. The girls did their thing in the temple with incense and prayers while we stood back at a respectful distance. The big Buddha is an impressive sight. What can I say? It's BIG.

wonderland clinic

Rode down the hill out to the coast and found a small thatched roof seafood restaurant where we had the best fish and prawns I have ever had and it cost next to nothing. We gave them a generous tip. Then we went off for a bit of touring and sightseeing. It was a cool feeling – riding along on a bike with a hot babe on the back, my best mate right there doing the same thing. Eventually we headed back to Patong, just in time to catch the 5 o’clock rush hour traffic. We managed to get the scooters and the girls and ourselves safely back to the hotel unscathed.

We wanted to take the girls out that night, so again had to pay their shop fines. Turns out the girl with my mate also worked as a massage girl. So another 500 baht each and off we went for some dinner then back to U2 bar on Soi Bangla. Another night of drinking and boom-boom.

I originally had the intention of going with different bar girls every night I was there, but I was loving the attention I was getting from Moon. She was absolutely gorgeous and just doted on me. If I was sweating, she would wipe it off. At dinner, she would shell my prawns for me. She would light my cigarettes, order more beers, haggle for prices for me, and just show 100% attention. I had never had this before from previous girlfriends or ex-wife and I was loving it. I probably wouldn’t get this from a random bar-girl which is why I stuck with her for basically the whole time. And I had only paid her shop fines and meals and drinks.

Day 5 was more shopping, but this time with Moon there to get me the best prices. I bought a couple of fake Rolexes, fake Ipod, clothes, music and software. My mate went shopping by himself and was spewing when I told him how much I paid for basically the same stuff that he bought.

Our second to last night was another big night on Bangla Rd. Drank heaps then back to the hotel, where I was treated to a 2 girl massage in my room. This came as a surprise. Moon and I went back to my room, and she told me to take a shower. When I came out, wearing just a towel, there was another hot girl in the room and they gave me the best massage I had ever had. They were walking up and down on my back. They asked me to turn over, and since I had already popped a magic pill, I was all barred up and the towel resembled a tent. They both found this very amusing. But they soldiered on with the massage. Then the mystery girl left and Moon and I enjoyed another night of bliss. This was ‘on the house’ (I discreetly checked my wallet to make sure it hadn’t been pilfered while I was showering, and every last baht was there).

By this stage, days had blurred into nights in a haze of alcohol and sex.

Then it was our last night. Back to Bangla Rd, but it was pissing down with rain, so even though it was a Friday, it was pretty quiet. And our bodies were feeling the abuse that we had been giving them. So we left the U2 at about midnight after saying our goodbyes to the bar staff. Back to the hotel and a long night of boom-boom. I would have been lucky to get an hours sleep (gotta take my hat off to the inventors of Viagra). We were being picked up at 7am by the coach to take us to the airport. I had packed my bags the evening before and arranged a wake up call, so I just had to shower and throw on some clothes and head downstairs. I gave Moon the last of my Thai money which was about 2000 baht. She kind of shook her head, but I pushed it on her and she took it. She had tears in her eyes. I’m missing her already. I had jokingly said to her that I’d take her back to NZ but she had no intention of ever leaving Thailand.

All the staff from the hotel were in the lobby to see us off. During our stay we had become quite friendly with them all, buying them drinks (water or coke or lemonade because they were working) and tipping and joking around with them and they appreciated it.

It was quite sad driving out to the airport. The weather had turned and a storm was blowing in. Waves were crashing up on the beach and the streets were deserted. It was time to leave.

I will never forget my week in Patong, and plan to go back some time. I’ll probably even look up Moon. She was lovely. She never asked for money except for the necessary shop fines, which I don’t know if she got any part of. And I probably could have left without giving her any money at all, but I know that while she was out with me, she wasn’t working, so wasn’t making any money, so I felt that I should reimburse her for some of her lost earnings.

All up we blew about NZ$2000 in a week excluding airfares, and accommodation.

That had to be the best holiday I ever had.

Stickman's thoughts:

Hook up with Moon again? Why? She is a working girl!

nana plaza