Stickman Readers' Submissions August 17th, 2009

The Rules Of Dating A Thai Lady

First off I would like to point readers to another submission that really is a must read entitled 10 Biggest Mistakes Western Men Make with Thai Girls.
This one article could have saved me a lot of wasted time and effort, not to mention a great deal of money.

However with that said, I did read that article — but I genuinely thought I had found a good one. In the end it was a very bad one pretending to be a good one. There were red flags everywhere, but I ignored them all. Hell, I even ignored
my family when they told me of the red flags that were everywhere in front of my face.

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Believe me it can and will happen to any one, no matter how serious or genuine you are. And I know there will be readers that may read this, and convince themselves it's not happening to them. Well, I was that person. I was a very kind
and naive person. I got taken. You will too. Plain and simple, and there will be not doubt about. Take 15 minutes, and read this paragraph at least 5 times. Then take 15 minutes more to let it sink in. It WILL happen. Don't be fooled.

In order to save some other poor soul their time, and especially their money, I have come up with some various red flags.

1. Don't buy her expensive "toys" — for example Iphone, jewelery, Ipod, laptop or desktop computer, etc. This is a dangerous road to go down. She will think you are rich. You do not want her to think that, believe me. If you
would like to get her a gift — chocolates are good. As a rule of thumb, don't pay more then $20 USD for a gift, unless you have seen her more than 3 times. Then you can buy perfume or something a little nicer. But in any case never ever
spend more then $100. NEVER! No matter what the logical (or illogical) excuse might be, don't be fooled.

2. Do not send her money. Never ever! She might say she is sick and in the hospital and needs money to pay hospital — don't do it. It is a scam. She might even convince you she will be taken to the police, or is at the police station
— it's a lie. You are getting scammed. Don't do it. You think she needs help in — get her health insurance. But I would say wait until you're married, if she really is the "one".

3. If she says weird things while chatting with you — guess what, she is chatting with someone else too. In may case, she was chatting with friends to figure out the best story to tell in order to scam me out of more money. Take a hint,

4. I met a few of her friends, and family. But don't let that put you in a false sense of security. Scamming Westerners is a business in Thailand. There is no end to what they will do to relieve you of your hard earned $$$.

5. If she threatens to leave you for any reason — leave.

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6. If she says she has other guys that can help her — let them, and disappear — because she probably does have other suitors.

7. Don't let the fact that her friends are parroting her lies convince you she is telling the truth. No matter what, don't fall for anything anyone says. It's likely a lie to scam you.

8. If you think you have to hire a P.I. to investigate your Thai girlfriend. Don't waste your money, you already know she is scamming you. You just don't want to believe it. If you can't trust the other person don't let
yourself be tricked. Stand firm.

9. My girlfriend was not a bar girl (at least I don't think she was). So, even the so called mainstream girls are just as bad as bar girls.

10. Never pick up a girl in a club or bar, even if she does not work there. You are going to be in for a world of hurt.

11. If you do visit her, be very mindful of her activities. If she gets a lot of calls or makes a lot of calls — it's not a good sign. She is most likely getting the drop from her real boyfriend, or family, or friends on how to scam
you. If she leaves you at your hotel alone because she needs to take care of something — DUDE WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!!! This is such a red flag. Don't believe any excuse that she needs time alone with her friends. If she leaves, so
do you … right away.

12. If she is get angry or is not warm to you — i.e. feels like a cold dead fish when needing to show affection — don't be fool and write it off. This is an important sign — She does not like you — get a clue!

13. Don't date a person without a job, or if the job is menial. Don't date students. They will come up with all kinds of excuses for you to pay for their classes or some other fee for classes.

14. If she says you are like a God to her, don't let that stroke your ego. She don't really mean that. You are just a meal ticket, and a way to buy extravagant items.

15. If she says she "Not Fake you". She is faking you. If she says "This not Thai Lady Trick" — it's a Thai lady trick.

16. If she seems to have very bad luck, guess what — she is making it up to scam you. No one has that bad luck. Everyone has a little good mix with a little bad.

17. No, her mom is not really sick, don't believe that.

18. No, she isn't sick.

19. No, her friend didn't die in a fire.

20. No, she does not need new clothes.

21. No, she does not need a new phone. Her current one works fine.

22. No. No. No.

In any case the art of scamming or conning needs the other party to trust and believe them. Do not be native, and trust anyone. Not everyone in this world is a good person. Don't implicitly believe everything you hear and see.

The best way to see how things pan out is to chat online for at the very least 6 months, preferably 1 year. I know the other article mentions that is best to be in Thailand, and he is right. But that is not always an option.

And the best advice, is not to send any money. If you must help always find an alternative to sending money directly. Don't trust anyone. Unless you have known them for at least one year, and you have seen them more then 3 times. Then,
and only then can you begin to Trust, but verify. Always trust your instincts, don't write them off like I did. I will be a costly mistake.

Don't be afraid to say good-bye. They aren't.

Good Luck.


Stickman's thoughts:

A zillion generalisations. You have obviously been burned, which of course is said. I think a far better way of helping others would have been by telling your own story and pointing out the mistakes that you made. To suggest that all of the red flags you have raised here mean a woman is no good is a gross generalisation. Yes, one does need to be aware of certain issues but they are not always a red flag!

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