Readers' Submissions

Staying Grounded

  • Written by Anonymous
  • August 10th, 2009
  • 5 min read


Well, after reading Stickman for as long as he has been online – I have decided NOT to remain quiet any longer! I am going to ‘ramble a little bit’!

I am not a writer, author, teacher, poet – but a programmer so I have this IF_THEN_ELSE, DO_WHILE, DO_UNTIL, CASE logic set that has been burned into my problem/resolution thought process for over 25 years!

Yes, there have been numerous submissions over the years of Farang / Thai relationships, heartbreak, romance, illusions, suicides, killings (?) broken and lost ‘everything’ – but I am here to say that you just have to remain ‘GROUNDED’.

Personally, I have taken offense lately about all the negative talk about how you must be a demented, low life scum; etceteras about men (single or divorced) choosing to live in Thailand! Also, how Thailand has rapidly become a less than ‘worthy’ place to live out of the other 189 countries in the world!

I repeat myself – you must remain ‘GROUNDED’ – it is the same here as it is any other place in the world – it is what YOU MAKE IT – regardless!

Having lived outside of the USofA for over 25 years and only going back on rare occasions – I have been lucky and have lived in many countries around the world (my favorite is South America – which I will probably retire to) and I have come to the same conclusion everywhere – which I define in the last paragraph!

There has been many a men that I have met here that, in my opinion, have been the scourge of man! You try to remain ‘open’ and not cast a stone – but you just cannot do at the end of the day – just really shitty people!

The same can be said from my experiences about some of the women that I have met here and had a semi-relationship with – but when you meet a girl down in lower Suk, Cowboy, Patts, Patpong, Phuket, or etceteras that makes her living (selling sex) in a bar, soapy, go-go, etceteras – what do you expect? This is where my simple logic ‘seeps’ in and it becomes crystal clear why I choose NOT to participate in the girl ‘games’ accompanied with the additional emotional ‘baggage’!

Off subject here – but I just cannot understand guys coming here who meet a girl (who sells sexual satisfaction for baht) decides he loves her or even worse thinks like a Knight in Shining Armor – and marries her! How is this possible – yes – I know – see it happen all the time! They only have themselves to blame, which they know is true, and after a period of time after the ‘emotional meltdown’ they become cynical, bitter and a ‘know it all’! You have to remain ‘GROUNDED’ and recognize the ‘picture’ for what it really is – ANYWHERE!

On the other side of the coin, I have met some really wonderful people here! I consult here for the BODs of the largest Thai company (huge) within its vertical industry. These people have been nothing but truthful, helpful and honest to me and have always fulfilled their word – me likewise as well! I have been working with this group for well over 10 years and it has been nothing but rewarding to me professionally and financially! There are ‘NO GAMES’ or deceit!

I was ‘hit’ by a motor-taxi driver going the wrong way down the road. My arm was broken but my hip was killing me! The old Chinese Thai ladies on my quiet soi were at my house every hour of the day from about 9:00AM to about 10:00 in the evening – making sure I was OK for about a week! Another Thai man I know would bring over some beer for me every day! I could NOT give them money, they flat out refused – so when I was up and about and went to the market I brought those back fruit and veggies 3 or 4 times a week for about a month! They HELPED ME!

Last time I was in NY a non-USA taxi driver tried to scam me on the way to JFK – not going to happen – I grew up in Brooklyn — it happens everywhere!

So when I read some of these ‘sob stories’ with these negative opinioned positions – I just think – IT IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT – YOURSELF!

Not trying to ‘paint’ a broad stroke – but everyone is entitled to their opinion and we also can agree to disagree – BUT – these guys that got ‘duped’ allowed themselves to get ‘duped’ – they knew (at the end of the day) – they screwed up!

As for all Thai women being – hos – not true!

Last Paragraph:

It is WHAT YOU MAKE IT – having respect for yourself, not selling out, seeing the situation for what it really is – not what you want it to be – being ‘open minded’ and not getting angry at situations but learn from them – having relationships with people that have the same ‘core’ values you have (yes, can be done in Thailand) – using some common sense – treat people the way you want to be treated —- rewards come back to you!

So I will always keep reading the submissions on the ‘Stick’ site – but when I read the submissions about how bad Thailand is, how a bar girl screwed me over, or whatever ‘sob story’ – I will always think – IT IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT – YOU SHOULD STAY GROUNDED!

Stickman's thoughts:

I think your second to last paragraph says it all.