Readers' Submissions

Gentlemen: Did You Forget That It’s All About Cheap Pussy and Everything Else is Beside the Point?




I thought the points I made in Thailand: The Great Misunderstanding were pretty simple. But I guess I was misread or misunderstand, as least to judge by the many e-mails I got that wanted to put a good burn on my ass and get me in the same classroom with politically correct professors who are not exactly my best friends.

1. I made the point that several key things about the Thais that farang don’t like are simply what Thai society is about, one that revolves around the concept of face.. In this kind of society, it makes sense to lie and deceive others, to be corrupt or accept corruption, to not be overly analytical. I didn’t say that I like this system or want to live in Thailand. In fact I don’t want to live there, not because of any of these values but because I can’t make anything like the money I can make by living in the West. Because of all this money I make in the West I can travel to Thailand and stay in good hotels and eat anywhere I want and not worry about giving a girl 3,000 baht for the night and a nice tip in the morning and sometimes taking her friend too if one girl isn’t going to be enough or I’m going to feel lonely in bed with only one girl.

2. I guess maybe I did say, Don’t get your gander up, if you don’t like what you get then go home to the old ex-wife, or the half-hour street whores that will cost you nine times as much for less and slap you on the way out the door. I did say, Look, it’s like a marriage. You buy into a package and there’s some good stuff and there’s some bad stuff and when the bad stuff gets in your throat and you can’t taste the good stuff anymore, then trade her in for a new model or shoot her or push her off a cliff. Don’t waste your time when you could be spending the same time hooking up with more cheap pussy.

3. Which reminds me—this is a true story–of the night I took a chick from Nana Plaza and she was steaming hot and was inside my pants before I was on the bed and in ten minutes I needed relief I was going to die she was riding me so hard, and I said what’s up with you, you are killing me, and I pushed her off the bed and all these pills came rolling out of one of her pockets, and I said to myself and to her and the walls, Jesus, now I understand why you tried to kill me with your pussy, and it was like only a couple of minutes later that there was a knock on the door and there stood two cops and I knew what was going down, and it sure was a good thing that under the mattress I had 10,000 baht and that’s what I had to pay, and then I figured why not now that I paid and the chick stayed and we slept for a while and drank what we could find and I had a little of the pill trip too, and then we were still going at one another around noon, that’s what happens with those pills, and it doesn’t matter if it looks like you’re bleeding all over.

4. But, Jesus, if spending your time running at the mouth about what’s wrong with Thailand is your gig then go for it, do it all the time, because that’s just the way things are in your world, and I’m perfectly tolerant of all that too, just as I am hoping that you are perfectly tolerant of my meeting your favorite one-of-kind Thai lady who you are planning to marry and will be sending money to, but now that you are about to take off to Farangland and stay there for a while I will be bonking her to my sweet little heart’s content, because this is the kind of thing I like to do, as I’m always on the prowl for these Nana and Cowboy ladies that have farang who love them to death and send them money. Because you see in my way of seeing what’s worth seeing, I love Thai whores to death and I love to do drugs with them and I don’t mind paying for it all and always lying to the chicks when I leave them about how much I love them and will see them soon, because I don’t plan to ever see them again.

5. I know there’s something I’m forgetting here, though what it is I can’t put my finger on, other than to finish off by saying I’m who I am and not another person and I don’t give half a flying goose what anyone thinks about what I do, anymore than I give a half or a full flying duck about what the Thais do, as long as the price of pussy stays within reason and I can pay 10,000 baht to a couple of crooked cops when I’m part of a scam that’s really no big deal because I come from a country where I make bags of money and I certainly cannot get my hands on young pussy like you get in Thailand for the price of three enchiladas and a parking valet ticket.

6. Is there something else I’ve forgotten? I don’t think so but then I’m blind in one eye and not always thinking with the right side of my brain because just like almost everyone on this site the only reason I went to Thailand for the first time and the second time and every other time for about twelve or thirteen or something like that years and counting was not because I loved the country or gave a rat’s ass about it’s political system or gave half a shilling about who would and would not lie to me, no, I went there like everyone else for the cheap pussy.

7. So, gentlemen, let’s stay on topic, and let’s spend energy telling me where I can get another chick for 2,000 or 3,000 baht with a nice new butterfly on her back who loves ya-ba and will bonk me close to dead all the way to noon, okay?

Stickman's thoughts:

Fair enough.