A Random Walk Through Life
Good day all,
Let me explain my background and where this is taking us before you decide to commit your precious time to reading the following. I am probably near to your median Stick reader – early 50s, married, bored, been to Thailand about 20 times and liked most of it. Actually not french but living in a french community in Europe. US born of Brit parents and a product of the 60s USA thinking and action till age 13. I have lived in Europe for many years and worked in about 6 different countries since. Was married for 20 + years with 2.2 kids, house and some boys toys all paid for. Made redundant twice in the last 2 years, first by a camp french boss who runs a large office supply company and who didn't like several audit reports I had made that singled out poor management in Asia (his pet subsidiary) and second by a incompetent Belgian boss who "runs" a 500 person Belgian company that due to hugely incompetent management is surviving only due to subsidies by the walloon regional government.
Since January 2009 I started to run with a partner my own company and despite the recession it is already profitable with a bit of luck by the end of the year there will be enough residual cash for a trip to Asia.
I have read the site consistently during the past 4+ years and thus have been through most of the gamut of editorials therein. During my business travels I have been lucky enough to travel to many Asian countries as well as all the European ones and Canada. During these travels as a trained observer (commercial auditor for many years), I have picked up on many of the traits and signs of the countries I visited to try to understand how the country operates
in this way. I have come to several conclusions that underline the basic difference between the Asian behaviour and the western behaviour and thus have been able for mostly the better to profit from the circumstances I find myself in when travelling about.
I will try to outline some of these below for the general benefit of the readership.
1 Nearly all male – female relationships are transactional in nature e.g. you get what you pay for or can afford, up to you to benefit from it accordingly through diligent management of the situation you are in. The payment may be upfront, or delayed, in money or in kind but the payment will be there for sure when the final reckoning is done. It just depends on how smart you are as to the average price per pop. Once the mirage that you have contracted into has dissipated (usually 1 – 2 years after marriage) and you have become just a financial provider and handyman about the house, you will begin to wonder what happened to that waif like (if you were lucky) lady who stroked your ego only months before. Sorry mate, it was all about entrapment. Lucky you aren't a spider or you would have been eaten alive!
2 Men and women are too different to be together in the same space for more than a few hours, except in the initial "adorable period". In this respect the Arabs have got it right. Even the traditionalist Jews separate for 2 weeks each menstrual period (imagine no more PMT scenes).
3 Women are mostly emotional and illogical and act mainly on feeling of the moment and it only gets worse once they get to menopause.
4 Men are often illogical too but driven to a greater or lesser extent by the testosterone levels. By the way, that feeling of invincibility you have when you are in your 20s and 30 quickly dissipates in your 40s and 50s and you realise that your time on the planet is indeed limited and you had better get the best use out of it.
5 Many western men have been so brutally pussy whipped by the curious judo Christian culture we are brought up in that they have lost all control over their emotional direction and are by and large subjugated.
6 Legislation in the West adds to the effect of number 5 by overprotection of women and the redistribution of your hard earned assets, a kind of Robin Hood, so to speak.
7 Many men over 30 are bored with their 1.6 wife (e.g. they married 1 but now have a mass of 1.6), due to the wife having no interest other than children (when still small), shopping as an emotional outlet, and inane TV programs. Naturally the physical side of the relationship has declined to about 5% of the pre-marital level and what were once raisins have become watermelons. Note: if your wife is French she will have only gone to 1.2 but will not smile and be a chieuse, loosely translated as "in a shitty mood most of the time".
8 So many men are looking for outlets to their boredom e.g. footie, collective sports, golf, stamp collection and occasional flings. However local flings risk entrapment a second time.
9 Many men would like to have a more active physical relationship with any decent looking partner they could come across (sorry for the pun).
10 In most western countries this is frowned upon (unless you are Italian or French where you would be esteemed by most of the people including many of the women. Just look a Berlusconi at 70+ and knocking off 18 year olds!)
11 As a result many men dream of going to the Far East where it is thought that a good time can be had, and at a fraction of the cost of a time shared partner in the West.
12 As witness to this premise failing I bear as witness the 100s of articles in the Stick submissions to conclude my case.
So having dryly analyzed the situation, what can be done about it?
1 If you live in the USA or Great Britain and are married you are basically screwed by legislation and if things go wrong your will lose all you have. To a lesser extent also in other countries ; except France where the main earner gets to keep what they put in according to income (clever those French).
The only solution is to plan ahead for the future alone and stash as much of your money as you can in a safe haven, usually overseas where the courts can't touch it. (Attention to US residents to the IRS reporting laws, so much for individual freedom), and invest as little as possible common property items. Even prenuptial agreements fail due to the avarice of the women and the courts.
2 If you live in a sensible country in the rest of Europe, before you get hitched get a really good pre-nup done. If that pisses her off so as to not go with you then you just won the lottery and saved a ton of money! After all, there are 2.5 billion more out there for you to hook up with and she is not unique, except in the way she will pull the money from your pocket. If you are already married you an always try to get a notary to make a post marriage agreement. Even so, hide as much as possible of your assets and never talk about it to anyone (friends gab).
3 Get your self some free time from the family to go and have some fun. To do this in conjunction with business is even more efficient and provides good cover. If you are a US / Canada resident go to Mexico or Panama or Columbia.
If you are a European resident you have several choices, many of which are in convenient locations to be mixed into business trips.
UK : high cost but fun lady marmalade parties in and around London.
France : better go to Spain or to Germany as the local legislation is pretty brutal.
Holland : several good clubs in Amsterdam and Den Haag.
Belgium : better go to Germany
Scandic region : go to Denmark or Germany. I pity you if you live in Sweden or now Norway as you're effectively emasculated.
Eastern Europe : you have plenty of local services and the further east you go the thinner are the ladies (no McDonalds).
Germany : many think of it as boring and staid. Once you understand the system you can have more fun there at lest cost per pop than even in Thailand with no chance of being ripped off and with usually tectonically perfect organisation.
I would refer to the partite clubs, where for a flat fee of between 80 to 100 Euro on a weekday you could have as many pops on demand as you could manage over the 8 to 10 hour opening. Better clubs will have all you can eat and drink policies all including the fee!!!
If you want to try your hand at European supermodels you go to the BKK clubs in and around Frankfurt where the service providers will be much more good looking and the mass nearer 1. Of course here the price is rather higher at with a 40 to 50 euro entry fee and about 60 euro per pop @ 20 min.
If you want to try your hand at bored housewives then you can try German swinger clubs like Caesars near Wuppertal or le coq (aptly named) near Frankfurt. The entry fee will be about 100 Euro, here of course the pops are not guaranteed as you will be chosen rather than be the chooser. However, there is a bit of spice to the fact you are banging someone else's better half senseless.
I understand similar venues exist in Switzerland and Austria but have not had the opportunity to personally try it out.
Now where does Thailand come into this?
If you want a long rest and some fun company then Thailand, Philippines, or Indonesia would be obvious choices.
Forget china unless you speak good Mandarin, and have a fat wallet. If you do then try your hand at Donguan near Shenzhen where in the better clubs you will be served with a experienced girl and an "apprentice". Of course you can have more fun banging the apprentice as she has a lot less mileage on the clock.
Forget Korea or Taiwan which are a total waste of time.
Hon g Kong can provide a nice respite in the open bars (not clubs! to be totally avoided due to high cost) of Wanchai e.g. Neptune, Fenwicks (now I believe closed and moved nearby), Laguna etc. where you can find wall to wall Phil or Thai company starting at 500 HKD for an evening. However the sheer density of the place usually drives me out after 4 or 5 days.
Indo is fine in Jakarta with more clubs than you could shake your magic stick at. Some would be in major hotels and others congregated near Blok M. The girls are marginally less pretty than some Thai or Phil ones but they are very personable and passionate. Maybe there is something going for Muslim countries after all?
There is also ample opportunity in bail, but at a price.
Singapore, despite its squeaky clean image, has plenty of opportunity at various price levels. Low end Geylang area, mid level Orchard Towers, hi end hotel nightclubs with very expensive freelancers. A main site for this area would be warrensingapore which scientifically lists each venue in the city state by area. As you can see the Chinese always think of a man's every need and even the government profits by selling the entry visas for these visitors at a very high fee,
wickedly clever methinks.
Back to Thailand.
Sespite the bad press on Thailand, I believe that one can have a very good time there if you fit the following criteria.
1 You have ample funds.
2 You have a solid head on your shoulders and can be self disciplined and negotiate and spot crummy deals ahead of time.
3 You learn a bit of Thai (maybe 200 words or so) and do some research about where you are going to.
4 You expect to be let down from time to time and can go with the flow and get over it fast.
5 You stay cool and calm at all times – smiling helps a lot.
6 You hold and present yourself well and are not smelly.
7 You realise that it is all transactional in the end and that despite what you were told at school that you could be an astronaut or president you really don't count at all in the greater scheme of things (so in other words being self modest).
8 If you want to stay around that you fit the retirement age profile.
Where could one start to find a good time in BKK?
Well, let's start with where not to go to.
Do not to go to Nana Plaza, Patpong, or Wowboy or the other sois in between or the general Sukhumvit area. It's all a set up to trap poor old pussy whipped foreigners with the mirage of affection and interest in you and to drain their assets in record quick time.
Where you could try to go, without the promise of a quick fix however, but then again the fun is in the chase! The dance clubs in Rachada e.g. Dance Fever and the beer gardens up that way. I'm am definitely not Mr. Clooney but still hit it off each visit.
RCA and other western sois off Sukhumvit, CM2 (you have to be able to sort out the pros from the real visitors), out of center shopping malls e.g. Bangkapi, etc where students abound, some after hours clubs e.g. Spicy behind MBK but again there is a lot of professional help therein and you have to know what you want. Some bars in soi 33 which are more soft sell but still semi professional. From a previous submission it would seem that horse riding seems to be a good place to find hi so bored ladies, perhaps more keen on sitting on something else than a saddle?
In many parts of the world with realistic legislation there is ample possibility to amuse oneself on a modest budget. Legislation in the west will only push more and more regular guys to these areas. Of course once the tipping point is reached (e.g. that that many guys are no longer interested in one's home grown talent) the trend may be reversed (e.g. in Oz there is a limit on the number of times you can marry a foreigner e.g. 2 times as far as I have read) or perhaps even worse legislation may come into force e.g. punishing those who openly have upfront paid transactional relationships. When that day comes then you had better change your nationality.
So you may be wondering what's in it for me? My game plan is to build up my company for the next 5 – 7 years then pass it on and move to Indonesia to have a nice relaxing time in my latter years.
Hope you enjoyed the visit,
Lots of interesting advice. Curious to hear you recommend people do not go to Cowboy, Nana and the like. I understand where you're coming from but to pick up in those other places, while possible, requires much more effort than your average short-term visitor wants to make. Further, some are not exactly great catch material and that is why Sukhumvit works so well for them.